Has anyone elses self-harm ever developed into a sexual habit as well as a private one? Almost ten years of self harming privately and hiding it turned into a sexual quirk for my partner and I...we've now stopped that but it's definately weird sharing it with someone else...alot of the emotions are the same but its being triggered for a different reason is weird....
It definitely has been for me, but for me it was just by myself. I don't think it's weird, though I definitely think it can be unhealthy as it's too tied up with negative emotions to be used sexually. How do you think it has affected you?
It was quite helpful actually...I was beginning to stop doing it alone at this point...but my partner has a bit of a kink when it comes to blood so we experiemented with some crazy vampyer (sp??) sex... it was fun at the time...but the feelings of sickness and dread the next day sticking the cuts back together made me realise things had changed...I never cared how much they scarred before....kind of made me realise I nwas starting to grow out of it...
no, but I has a weird evening one time where myself and a close friend both SH'd together just kept swapping and it was almost exciting but not really sexual just.. strange because both of us would normally see it as a very private thing to do
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
my old partner and I used to do that (we follow a bit of a D/s thing) and I didn't like it, both of us saw SI as private and it made me feel weird to SI infront of her like that, for a totally different purpose.
but for a while it was a bit sexual yeah, not anymore though
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It's dead weird innit!
I'm not recommending it to anybody but it added a level of excitment to sex that nothing else has so far. I think seeing blood just automatically kicks your adrenolin into over-drive....trouble is you regret it so much the next day!
I think my post and your post is a little bit different because for me I dont think I would ever be able to have SI involved in my sex life, like I couldnt imagine SI-ing infront of anyone ... Idk... I feel completely alone ... like no one understands ... but thanks :)
When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze. - Unknown
no, i'd find it hard too. i can't say it's always unhealthy, and i do know i like pain in sex. but for me cutting has SO many very bad/unhealthy connotations to it and it is so private i don't know if i could ever enjoy it or have it be a good thing during sex.
Weird. I've been toying with the idea of posting this same question, but haven't been able to do it. I'm too inhibited, I guess. So...thank you. :)
With us, the kink came first, then this other (we do the D/s thing a little bit, also). He's very tolerant and accepting of my SI in general, and I think this is just his way of attempting to...incorporate that? There's not a negative connotation in it for me, actually. It's a bit dirty, yes. But in some ways, his even-handed acceptance of my SI across so many different levels has been more effective at helping me curb my urges than the terrible fear and shame I've felt at the prospect of my "friends" or coworkers finding out I cut. I think the experimentation in our relationship has made me more comfortable with myself. He's in full support of a decision to stop, but he's never put pressure on me to quit. Instead, he looks for ways to replace it, or to make it less.
Last edited by Pierrot : 19-06-2010 at 09:22 AM.
Reason: to fix the grammar
Yeah I'm sure it very much has to do with your specific psychology and how much you relate cuts to being sad/depressed/upset/etc. I don't even know for sure with me it would be bad, I'm just scared it would. I am very interested in D/S stuff and I definitely enjoy pain/roughness in sex and that doesn't carry negative connotations. But for me personally, I don't know if I would like scars from it and I think I'd have a hard time mentally separating it from being a bad thing. I tried it on my own but that had unwarranted shame attached to it so I still don't know if it was good or bad. But anyway like said everyone is different.
