Whats wrong with me?
 

umm :notsure: I dunno what to say...theres so much i wanna say...but im scared to say it...umm..ok...I'm 21...i never leave the house...my mum (who i live with) has to get everything for me. Because im scared to go out, but i dont know why im scared, i dont know what im afraid of :notsure: I do go to councilling...yea i cant spell either...but i go there...umm..but all she talk to me about is getting me a job...she doesnt understand i cant even go near the front door...my curtains are always closed because...umm..im gonna sound so crazy...im convinced people can see in...i know they are watching me..i know they are...i dont know why...umm..and also...everything is my fault...if something bad happens...like if something breaks in the house...or if my mum gets a cold...somehow its my fault...i dont know how it could be, but it is. and i know that people talk about me. i kow they do because on the days i go to councilling, my mum has to come with me...but...anyone i go past in the street, they look at me...and if there are groups of them, they laugh as i walk past..i KNOW they do. my mum has heard it yet she says they are laughing at something else. and yea i know im ugly and fat. if thats what they are laughing at they can save it because they really dont need to. i know. and i know i can do excersises at home, but i cant because i feel stupid.
Im the only one in the house during the day because my mum goes to work....so what am i scared of?? I dont understand and it scares me :crying: its like...i can feel something or someone watching me ALL THE TIME and i cant move in the house without being judged by them. I cant go around in my nightclothes. I have to get dressed everyday because other wise ill look bad and theyll know. and when i do get dressed i have to do it under the covers so they dont see anything. I know i sound mad :crying: i dont know whats wrong with me. How do i fix myself. i constantly hear people judgeing me, even when im all alone in my room with the curtains closed, they're there. im not good enough. i cant do things. if i try to do it, i'll fail. constantly kicking me down, and i dont know what it is or how to fix myself.
how do i stop this?
whats wrong with me? :notsure:

Hey there,

I cannot tell you what is 'wrong' with you as such, because I'm not a doctor. It could be several things. You could be suffering from an anxiety disorder, or it could be a type of psychotic disorder, or a combination of both.

It's really important that you talk to a doctor about this. If you can't leave the house at all, ask a doctor to give you a home visit.

Take care.

It sounds like you have Agoraphobia, among other things. I can relate to almost everything you said.

I can relate to almost everything you said, you're not alone. Do you think you could manage to speak to your gp about these things? I know it's really difficult but i was housebound for a long time too, and it's really difficult, perhaps you could print this out and pop along to your gp with your mum?

hope you're ok,
jen x

Hun, there's nothing wrong with you. I don't think there's anything wrong with anyone but it sounds as though you are going through a rough time *hugs* is there anyone you trust who you can sort of say to about this? You've been so brave telling us and I can tell it was hard for you! Pm me if you like hun. I'm here if you need me, Lyssie xx

I think you should see a doctor and mention to him everything you've told us.