I've finally snapped
 

I'm going to be very straightforward. Long story short, I take abilify to stop my voices and my depression. It gets rid of the voices but doesn't work completely for the depression but it's helped some. But now the last person in my life, she likes someone else now and is completely ignoring me. And as stupid of a reason as it is, it's put me in a really depressed state to the point where I don't even want to take my medication. For some reason, I want it to wear off so I'm depressed enough to finally kill myself without a second thought. Because now that the last person is gone from my life, I feel theres no hope in the future and I might as well end it. I don't know what else to think, what to feel, and god knows how much worse I'm going to be when the medicine wears off in however long it will take. I'm trying to convince myself otherwise, but I just, I don't know, I can't seem to find a reason to think otherwise.

Don't stop taking your medicine, it seems like you really need it. Try not to let that girl in your life make you end your life. Stay strong. It's hard but you can't give up.

sweetie, please dont stop taking your meds. i understand your reasons for wanting to, but life still holds so much for you, even if you cant see it at the moment it does.
reason to keep taking them is that they help, and that means you are on your way to living a great life, on your way to finding happiness
feel free to pm me anytime
take care of yourself
xxxx

Please take your meds. *HUGS* There are important. I know you're going through a really difficult time but not taking your meds won't help anything. You can get through this. Can you talk to someone about how you're feeling? xo.

Well, after a while I've decided to take my meds for tonight...I don't know though, it just feels like I'm prolonging the inevitable before the loneliness finally gets to me. I mean, the only thing keeping me from death right now is my fear of it, that's all.

im glad you've decided to take your meds tonight
just take things a day at a time
there is no inevitable, so you are not prolonging it
you can get through this
xxxx