Why *************sui trig also***********
 

It's not anything dramatic but I don't think I belong in this world. It would stop all the noise and all the stupidity if I wasn't so why do I keep trying? Is it because society deems it wrong to commit suicide? I would like it to be over because I am not supposed to be here. I don't understand.

Sorry to spam my own post.

I feel ready to go and am fed up of being here to help pther peeps.

dont give in....i am at an all time low, fight it, believe me it can be woorth it. fight like hell, dont let anything get to you like that, talk to me pm me i will listen

I've been here so many times though. I don't think I should be here

I agree. You have to fight to beat it. But first you have to believe that you can beat it. Stay strong.

I'm 27. I have got a degree from the best uni in the country, got a distinction in my post-grad, was thought as a "rising star" in my national law firm but in reality I couldn't cut it. I have wasted my intellect. I shouldn't be here.

Hey,
You have to keep fighting. You will beat this. Don't give up. Is there anyone you can talk to about how much you're struggling? xo.

I don't want to fight anymore. I need to just end it to stop all of this.

Sorry to keep spamming own post.

I've been there before, many times, the trains don't seem to come along very often this time.

I don't want this anymore, I'm a mistake, I shouldn't be here.

sounds like you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself. you're young; is there any way you could take some time out of the high-pressured job, do a different one for a while and go back to your current career once you feel more steady and well, or would that be too complicated? (sorry, i don't know much about these things).

i'm an artist. not a very talented one. i may have to do a completely different job for a while before i can make a living from my art. so i guess i'll just make enough money to get by and try to enjoy it, until i am well enough to train as an art therapist, which may not be for a looong time. i understand it feels like a waste of time and waste of intellect, but go easy on yourself. it's not worth worrying yourself sick over because we all assume we're going to be like this forever when maybe we just need to be kind to ourselves, stabilise, then go back to it. it's not about doing nothing in the meantime, just working out what's right for you at that time. i'm being confusing and rambly again, i'm sorry. xxx

I know I can do so much more than I am but at the moment just going into work is so hard - have to quell the panic evrey day.

Tired and fed uop of having to try, if I wasn't here, no-one would know.

i understand the fear. i really do. it makes getting up in the morning so hard, that you wish you wouldn't wake up.

do you know what would make things easier right now, instead of dying? people would know if you weren't around. people here would definitely miss you.

Thanks but they wouldn't. I wish it could be that I had just never existed, I don't want this, I don't understand why I have to be here, it doesn't seem very fair, in fact it feels incredibly cruel.

Everyone thinks that, that one one cares, but honestly if you died then you cant take that back, and you will never know the life you could have had. Life is ment to be a struggle, but its how you survive thats the main thing, you where born for a reason, one day you might figure that out, but everyone feels how you do at time.

Here again, wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning.

I am glad you keep waking up though. Please don't give up Carrie x

Thanks Emma.

I feel so trapped. I have been given this intelligence for what? As a tease - this is what you could have done? I see people who have no fucking clue getting on just because they have a bum on a seat but they have no idea how to get a good result for a client, how to go that extra mile. I do but am crippled by fucking inability to go into work and when I do, I'm just not how I used to be.

It's so cruel, I do want it to end.

Oh well

Im too old to be doing this

You need to stop beating yourself up. You know how intelligent you are. You know that criticising yourself will not help in this situation. You need some intensive help right about now and you aren't getting it atm.