Nightmares..Please someone help me
 

Sorry its me again:notsure:

But anyway, there's something happening at the moment with my dad and well its difficult. He's been accussed of um doing stuff to children:crying: and it taking its toll on me. (its been going on since June now) I mean I don't believe he's innocent put it that way, this will sound bad but I don't doubt that he is capable of doing what he's done, and he's my father:crying: . But yeah he might be getting a court date on the 25th which is good.

But he never did anything to me, but I get the same nightmare every night of him raping me. Its like its actually happening to me, not as another person's point of view. But when I wake up crying it hurts physically, like my wrists hurts from where in the dream he pinned me to the bed, and my stomach and 'down there' hurt but thats for obvious reasons:crying: But its only a dream, but yet it hurts so much. Im going to tell my counsellor about it tomorrow becuase I haven't been sleeping much becuase im too scared to sleep. But its so clear this dream, I remember what he said to me, where the other people were (in the garden at the my nan's house) and where he did it, in his room, on his bed.

But its just a dream, so why does it hurt so much, I want it to stop. It causes me to SI becuase I'm scared, Infact the whole situation is the one of the reasons why I SI, to make the pain real, becuase I feel so numb..

Someone make it stop, please anyone:crying: :crying: :crying:

*cuddles*
Sweetie are you sure that he hasn't sometimes it is hard to accept that someone you love could do such horrible things but none of this is your fault and if he has done something wrong then it is his problem not yours.
Try to be honest with your counsellor about how you feel, maybe print this post and show it them.
You don't have to deal with this on your own.
Can you try make a calming routine that will make yourself feel safe before you to bed it might help you to sleep.
If you need anything feel free to pm me.
Take care of yourself
x

Thinking about it, going back a few years now. I know one of the name's of the one the boys who made a complaint. He came on holidy with us, just me and my dad, and well they did share a sofa bed..thats not good, oh god what if i could have stopped him.

Plus he worked with children, so who knows how many people he's hurt the police have strong evidence against him and stuff so I guess I believe them, I just wih it wasn't true

No. You could have not stopped him. He is responsible for his own actions and don't blame yourself for anything because you have done nothing wrong in this.
Its ok to wish it wasn't true because he is still your dad but what he has done is wrong and now he has accept the consequences of his actions.
x

I guess not... I just feel so guilty knowing he's hurt children, innocent children. I mean reading about has happened to some people on here =(

I want to get the court date through, I know its going in the papers too, so everyone will know...

I know its horrible but he made his own choices and his own mistakes and he is in the wrong not you so you shouldn't have to feel guilty for something you didn't do.

hi, what your dad did is not your fault, you could not have stopped him he is responsible for his own actions, you can not control what another person does, and you have nothing to feel guilty about you have done nothing wrong.

this must be really hard for u feel free to pm me if u need to talk.

Thanks =)

I don't know why I feel so responsible for what he did, I guess I just do. Im worried about what will happen when it gets in the papers, becuase then people will know, I won't be able to get away from it

It will undoubtely be hard but just take it one day at a time you will get through it and people will be talking about something else soon its just the way it goes and you have no reason to feel bad because its not like you have done anything wrong and I very much doubt anyone will think that of you either.
Take care and if you need anything feel free to pm me
xx

I'm sorry to hear that, hun. It's a good idea for you to talk to your counsellor. *HUGS* I really don't what advice to give, but your counsellor will be able to help you. Take care. xo.

Don't feel guilty for it. You weren't able to stop him, no-one was apart from himself. He chose that path, you didn't.

Stay safe sweetie.

Thanks guys =)

I was going to tell my counselor today about the nightmares, but I couldn't, I couldn't even write it down for her, Im so useless =(

Im going to try write it down tonight but it scares me and if I think about it, I cry and It's only a dream, why does it hurt so much?!

Your not useless it can take a long time to write down how you feel and show someone but you can do it just keep trying.
x

Normally I write things down, becuase I hate talking about things, so I don't know why I have such a problem doing this