Dear Mommy and Daddy, I am so sorry.
 

Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I am so sorry things have turned out this way. I never wanted any of this, and I know you guys didn't either. I can't control how I feel. I am so sorry I am tearing our family apart. I am so sorry I cause so much stress.. and tears.. I don't mean for any of it. I just want to be happy again. I am sorry you had to find out how I have been feeling. Don't feel like you guys are failing as parents, because you aren't. It is all my fault. I didn't see all I had and all I was blessed with. But it's to late now.. I am in too deep. When I told her about the suicidal thoughts, it was only because she asked. You guys cried so hard.. and I felt so bad.. I still feel so bad. Things got better for a few days because I knew you were scared. But now it is all coming back, and I am sinking into that dark place again. They should have put me in that hospital last week when I was on suicide watch. Mommy after that appointment you were driving me home and I compeltely freaked out. I am so sorry you had to see that. But it was the honest truth.. all the screams.. "I STILL WANT TO DIE" were truthful.. and they were coming from me. I don't want you guys to feel like it is your fault, because it is nobody but mine. I need help.. because what I am doing now is not working. I know you are trying but it is just out of your control. I can't do this anymore.. not to me.. or you both.. or my little sister. It isn't fair. And it's wrong. So I feel like i need to change it all. But then I feel like you guys would be completely crushed, and even suicidal yourselves. And I think that would be selfish of me to do that to you guys. I wish you could just let me get away.. go stay with a friend.. to clear my head and take a break. I'd be alright. I promise I would. But that's not an option.. and there aren't many left. All I can ask, is for you both to not feel guilty.. even though I blame you guys a lot, it is not your fault. I love you both.
love,
me

Hey,
What you wrote was really good. Are you going to give it you your mom and dad? I'm sorry about everything that's happening though.
If you ever need to talk PM me.
*hugs*
Kayla

i'm glad you're not holding resentment against your parents, or at least trying not to, that kind of thing isn't healthy. hang on honey. it sounds like your parents are reacting the best way they can, work with them, it'll be good for the both of you.
just keep swimming, and AIM/PM me if you'd like.

*cuddles*
Thats a good letter do you think you could give it to them it might help them?
take care of yourself sweetie
xx

Its a good letter, I hope that your parents will understand.

i wasn't plannin on giving it to them. i do blame them a lot though.. but yeah. tryin not to. i was real suicidal when i wrote this.

Wow honey. Just wow.

That letter left me in tears. It was so emotive.
If you feel it is the right thing to do, hand it to your parents; maybe they will understand what you are going through.

PM me anytime babe.

Love,

Julie x

hey i encourage you to give this to your parents..if you think you are ready.
it's a great letter by the way.

Wow hunni. That letter literally brought me to tears. I felt the same way when my parents found out about the SI and suicidal thoughts. I know you are probably really nervouse about letting them read the letter but maybe it will help? Your not alone. Keep holding on.

=)
*Hugs*
PM me anytime if you would like to talk.

~~SW~~

i'm tryin. there's just not much left to hold onto.

Big Hugs. Please consider showing the letter to your parents, It would help them understand much better I think.

i just can't. they think everything is getting better and i can't show them that it is NOT getting better.