Why...
 

I've been dealing with SI for almost 9 years...I'm 21...why haven't I outgrown this?...such a failure...:notsure:

I wouldn't say that it's something you 'outgrow' as such, rather than you learn different coping mechanisms.
There is probably a very good reason why you started to SI. It was the best way you knew at the time of coping with things. It takes time to learn new ways of coping with those feelings or situations. You need to find what works for you, what helps.

You arent a failure. I have been "dealing with it" for 27 years now. I still desire to cut or burn everyday. sometimes I can go for a year. sometimes I cant go an hour.

Just like Longing said...you learn differnt coping mechanisms. Or you find something to fill that part that makes you want to "do it"

SI is a strange, harsh, torturing venue we take part in. It doesnt make us weird or unacceptable. It just makes us comfortable in a situation for an amount of time that gets us through.

So I repeat....YOU are NOT a failure.

Rain

You are not a failure. When I started SIing all those years ago, I didn't know what I was doing. We find something that works and stick with it. And it sucks. But you are not a failure.

carrie

The failure would not be here now to tell your story.

as was said, you are NOT a failutre...you learned it as a coping mechanism and it has stuck...Mine has stuck for 20+ years....
But i wonder, do you have any help? A doc/copuns/therapist? Someone like that to help you figure out why you started and to help teach you new ways of coping? Id say it would be a very good idea to try and find someone...you dont need to suffer alone with htis...
keep fighting, keep trying
here if you need
romp

I'm 37 now. I thought i'd be over it by now too but it somehow keeps coming back in times of stress. Maybe it's just a way of coping?

yes, i believe its a way of coping. and no matter how old you are, until you learn other ways you'll probably always fall back on it. when i find something that works for me i usually stick with it. and SI has worked for 19 years. im working hard right now on staying SI free but its been hard these past few days. im just wondering if youre in therapy or ever have been? that might be a great help for you.
much love.
xx

just wondering how you are???
thinking of you
romp