drowning
 

in life

it is quiet tonight. my lungs gasp for comprehension of what to do next. my brain is filled with a whirlwind of events i cannot change. i cant speak to anyone.

I am drowning in fear.
I am drowning in silence.
I am drowning again alone.

What am i doing? where will i go? I am drowning by questions that seem never to find answers. I am drowning from these thoughts in my head.

over and over i hear them speaking to me.
pulling me this way. pulling me away.

I am drowning my sorrows with pain. I am drowning the pain with sorrow.
The two never meet. They play with each other. They fight and mingle. Each tries to outdo the other. They play well tonight. They both are drowning me. Taking my breath with each hit, each swallow, each cut.

I am drowing and he cant hear me crying.

I feel so isolated, so used, so alone.
why do i play this game?

I am sorry to those I have hurt. I am sorry.


I took a giant step today. It hurts like hell.

But things must change.

I go it alone again.Silenced from the world, I drown out my cries with comfort of my children and a call to a stranger. drowning slowly, i hear my heart pounding.life is in me. cant you hear the beat that keeps me alive?

An angel picks up the line...hello my name is rain...i am drowning. She says I am here for you..talk to me...and here i am my heart is still beating.


scared,trembling, drowning
rain

*clings*

honey if you actually rang someone and spoke tot hem... oh wow. I am SO proud of you. *cuddles you tighty* I love you so much honey. I hope you get help nad you get out.

*reaches into your sorrow and pulls you out so you can breathe again*

im glad you were able to talk to someone. that is GREAT. please keep going, keep talking, to us, to people on the phone. seek the comfort of your children, they have so much love to give.

keep breathing.

*squishes*
*throws a life raft*
loves.
xxxxx

Do it rainy.!!!

xxx

my dear FRainy.
I was ill..i was IP.
Im sorry to not nbe here for you when you need a friend
some ****ing friend iam.....sorry.
as if that helps your pain....

*grabs your hand too*

i didnt even want to log in today,feel so fragile and....floaty, transparent,

but i had to reach out too, to you, you are NOT alone!!
Not HERE
NOT EVER!!

PLS CALL!!!!
collectif youy have to.

I miss my FRainy.
I miss my friend

lovve you
romp

it hurts. I hurt

but I am still breathing.

carrying a small load of confidence walking today. I will hold my head high. I am strong. I am strong...I will do this...not alone but supported.


my mind will not rest, actively playing the weekend over and over and over.


I will speak to someone today. i must sleep.i want the nightmare to end. i want to wake up and find rain again.