im cursed
 

my apartment is infested with little red fly/gnat thingies and:
i have an interview tomorrow morning and i lost the dress pants that i was going to wear and i am at my mother's house because of the flies but i have no clothes here other than mini skirts and jeans - both great things to wear to interviews hurrah
oh and my roommate apparently was leaving our air conditioner plugged in all day while we were at work, WHILE SHE LEFT HER WINDOWS WIDE OPEN SO THE AIR WOULD NOT "GET STALE," so our electric bill was like gigantic this month
super
how can you not realise that a major appliance like that uses a massive amount of electricity? and what is the point of air conditioning an apartment while NOBODY IS INSIDE OF IT? WITH OPEN WINDOWS? WHAT WAS SHE DOING AIR CONDITIONING THE ENTIRE TOWN?

in other news on friday i am going on holiday to ireland and scotland with my family.
oh god i am so depressed
i dont want to go
i have been secretly wishing that our flight will be cancelled or that something will happen so i dont have to go
i just dont have the energy to do this right now
i am so tired and i want a break
and nobody knows about my SI and my issues right now, least of all my family, and there is no way i can tell them
but i need my space and i am going to need to be making lots of long trips to the bathroom to do things and how am i going to explain that, as well as all the excessive clothes and jewelry, when we arent just going to be in airconditioned buildings? i dont live with my parents and i dont see them all that often (unless plagues of insects descend on my apartment) so until now i have been able to cover things well
but 9 whole days is a long time eep! that is a lot of meals every day to eat in front of other people and i cant do that it is going to be noticeable i know it
i dont think it is that i have an ED exactly but things were just getting out of control and i dont feel comfortable eating in front of other people and i just have very specific ways of eating and sometimes doing things afterwards but not that often and i have cut a lot of foods out of my diet and i know that it would get blown out of proportion
crap that sounds very denialy now that i see it written out
great i have no idea what to do
this is awesome

thats a hewll of alot to deal with all in one go...
as to the eating..could yousay that you picked it up from your roommate, the leaving out certain foods as she doesnt eat them so its kind of affwected you? NOT a good idea i realize that, but for the moment it might help..as long as you realize uit will only be a temporary fix and will NOT hold for long...
the covering up is another hard bit...all i can think of is saying youa re comfortable as you are (even tho we both know you will be sweltering) but unless you can explain it, what choice do youhave? As to the jewelery...put it down to simple choice, that youhappen to like them and have gotten used to them...
I agree a family vacation is NOT the place to tell all...but eventually you may have to...but first try to get thru this trip and then hopefully you can plan it in your own way and at your own time/setting.
I hope it goes well for you...i know how it is...i dread when my parents come to visit. They spend the whole time watching what i eat (or dont) and criticize my drinking while they pour themsleves another...and if i say anything it xcomes out defensive and just looks/sounds worse...
so i spend the whole visit on eggshells and holding my breath.
I hope it can go smoothly for you
be thinkin gof you
romp

It's alright, the weather in the UK is absolutely crap at the moment. Long sleeves definitely order of the day, and don't forget your waterproofs.

(I realise this isn't much help...)

<hugs>