I didn't mean to....
 

****.
I cut again, I didn't mean to but I needed to feel, you know? Well thats a lie, I DID mean to. But I regret it - not for my sake but because my partner will be so disappointed in me. He'll say 'why didn't you phone me' or something and get really mad and upset. I know he tries to understand.

Parents coming to stay for a week soon and they don't know anything and my partner is going to be so mad at me. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I hate keeping the 'happy' face on, I can't keep it on for long. I get so mad at myself for being like this.....

People who don't self injure don't understand. My husband doesn't either. It is okay for you to take off your happy face around your partner.

It is okay for you to be good to yourself.

Thank you x
It just gets so hard sometimes...I feel like I'm faulty or weak. I know I'm not but it doesn't stop me from feeling this way.

You aren't faulty or weak. I think that self harm is a symptom of emotional distress. It is a way to cope, just like an alcoholic who drinks. And I'm an alcoholic in recovery too.