Keeping up a 'normal' life
 

My grandma died on Sunday. I'm skipping my uni tutorial today. I'm finding it really hard keep my head above the water, so to speak. It's only the third week into the semester and I'm skipping classes already. The thing is, this is my final year and I really need to go to class, but there's always something in the back of my head trying to convince me not to go. Some sort of excuse or justification for skipping class. And then I have to lie about not turning up, which makes me feel even worse.

I'm increasingly finding it really hard to leave my house, unless it's absolutely necessary, and then often I'll only venture outside if someone comes with me. In a way I've become afraid, and sick of, the outside world.

I'm freaking out about my financial situation too. I've had 3 job offers (retail) in the last few weeks, but I've missed all of them because I was afraid to answer the phone. It sounds so stupid. I don't think I could handle dealing with people. What I'd really like to do is open an online shop where I could sell my paintings and maybe make jewellery and crocheted stuff. I would love to do that. But unfortunately I need a credit card to start selling (which I applied for but of course was rejected). All I have is social security benefits which all goes towards transport and paying bills etc.

I guess I'm just finding it harder and harder to cope. I only have one friend, and like my family she would rather talk about herself and pretend that nothing's wrong than face the fact that I might not be okay. She is the only one that knows I SI, but I know she doesn't understand it - and I suspect she doesn't want to. So basically I'm left to deal with all of this on my own. Please help. I'm turning 21 in a little over a month, and I'm scared I may not survive until then :crying:.

*Hugs* Im very sorry for your loss. Im sorry i dont have any advice but i wanted to let you know i care and that we are all here for you. Im thinking of you.

Best wishes Ian

First of all I am really sorry for the loss of your grandma, this must be an incredibly hard time for you right now. Its understandable you don't wanna go to your uni tutorialbut please try not to lock yourself in your house alone if you can. It is only in the end gonna leave you feeling worse. Maybe you can go out and do something nice for yourself instead, even if its just going to a local park and sitiing there reading a book.

Can you also make sure you get the work you missed off another classmate or even your tutor, so that way you don't fall behind. Talk to your tutor as well and let them know things are a lil bit hard atm, they might be able to offer some special consideration to you.

I totally understand about not wanting to leave the house, I went through a very bad stage of that last year, it is only now starting to get slightly better. So from someone who has been there please try to get out as much as you can as hiding away only makes things worse. Can you try and aim at taking some small steps at getting yourself out and about.

Don't really have any advice on the financial side of things, hopefully someone else will. Maybe your friend doesn't know how to help, so instead just pretends it doesn't exsist, I dunno? Can you talk to her maybe and tell her what you would find helpful? Please know that you are not alone, we on RYL are here for you. I know its not the same as face to face contact but we will do our best to support you through this hard time. Keep fighting, you can do this.

Take care
Kat xxx

Thanks Ian and Kat for replying, it really means a lot to me. Ummm, I'm going to send an email to my tutor, and let him know that I'm having troubles with my personal life. It's easier to lie, but now that I'm in a better frame of mind, I'm going to try telling the truth and see how that goes. Thanks again,

Kimmy

Good luck with your tutor, let us know how it goes.

I think most people would be more likely to skip class right after a family death. After letting your tutor know about the situation, take the time to grieve in whatever way you need. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now, but just know that there's a lot of us on here willing to listen and care :)

Letting your tutor know sounds like a good thing to do.

Do you have to have a credit card to sell your stuff on ebay? Or do you have a friend or family member who could help you?