|
Please listen...[MAY TRIGGER ED ASWELL]
So here's what my current situation is like I wake up at like 4pm.... I stumble through the day not completely aware or present I feel like i'm watching myself from a distance Like an out of body experience Like i'm not completely here Like i dont control my actions Like a zombie :sad: I dont even know what day it is half the time I woke up last monday thinking it was Friday I had honestly completely forgotten the ENTIRE WEEKEND When i told my mother this, she got mad at me I end up going to bed at like 5am every night Even during school I just cant sleep i'm too paranoid And i'm still scared of the dark Im sooo forgetful? I heard this was common for sexual abuse victims?? I dont know, but I just forget everything I'll forget what day it is, what time, what you just said What i just said What i just did I forget everything but the things i want to forget the most My memories And i dont eat either, I eat one small meal a day Maybe a piece of bread or some strawberries But i drink lots of water I'm afraid this is turning into an ED too Because i feel so ugly and i have such low self-esteem But i think i mostly dont eat just because i'm too depressed To pick up a spoon or fork and put something in my mouth :crying: I'm at a complete whitts end here If this is how my life is gonna be, then i dont want to live it I want to die, if i have nothing at all to live for I know i've already posted something in there, but i'm still lost Completely LOST and HEARTBROKEN AND NUMB Mostly numb Living like a zombie, is NOT FUN AT ALL How to i gain some life back? |
it is so hoorible that you are hurting this much. I understand and im here if you need to talk, just pm me!! I dont know your situation and i am not you so im not going to say i completely understand but i too get times when nothing seems real and im just moving through time without knowing it. Have you talked to anyone professional about what you have been through or seen the dr about how depressed you are and about not sleeping? I know its hard but this is important, especially your sleeep, because lack of sleep affects everything, you may not feel less depressed but your motivation to get through everyday is better with sleep!! Im sorry im not much help, but im here if you want to talk more, please take advantage of the help you have on here!!!
Please stay stong, and things WILL get easier if you let people help you and talk about things, i know how hard it is but everyone is here to support you! Love to you Crazy/beautiful xxxxxxxx |
| All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:27 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.