Please Believe Me
 

I'm really struggling with feeling really badly. The past couple days were okay, but yesterday it got bad again and today it's worse. I really just want to end everything, but I can't, which makes me even more angry and resentful. I can't explain it very well, it's just in my head but it causes physical symptoms, like, I shake or sweat or get sick to my stomach.... it's like being ill. And, this is really embarrassing, but like...I sort of am dealing with sexual frustration...like, really bad?:ermm: Sometimes, it puts me into these little shaking fits...or frustration fits, it's hard to describe:-(:-( Nothing really helps it, either...:$ except S.I sometimes.

This has been happening for the past few years, but it's a lot worse in the summer, and the times that I've brought it up to people, like my family they really just like...don't believe me or take me seriously. My mom doesn't even really believe in mental illnesses like depression, etc. It's getting that it's hard to even be at work, on the days that I go. My family basically laugh at me, and think I'm ridiculous. I haven't got one friend or anyone I trust, except my boyfriend, who is really far away from me right now, so it makes it really difficult.

I've been seeing a counselor, and i don't even think that she believes me, sometimes. I get this vibe that, like...she thinks I want attention, or something...
I don't see the point in being here. I just want to be better, but, I feel like no one will believe me, and there isn't really anything that can help me:crying:

i feel like i should write something, although im not sure what to write. i hope things start to look up for you soon, and you can get through this
all the best, nathan xx

I can imagine that having your boyfriend far away make things very hard. Is it possible to talk to him via email? It might be good to talk to someone you trust and I often find writing things out is easier than talking.

Your counsellor probably doesnt think that - could you maybe ask what her opinion is so you arent second guessing all the time?

There are things that can help! If s.i helps you, when you get the urge to harm yourself could you try writing or drawing? Maybe going for a walk or having a warm bath? something that could relax you but causes you less harm.

Take care, I hope you begin to feel better
xxx

They don't believe you take you serious... that doesn't help at all....

But i wanted to say... i believe you...

Why is this summer that is worst than all the other times... has something triggered it?

Could you perhaps go to your GP... they won't think your being silly.... or trying to get attention...

Most people think that we are getting attention... but really it cos they don't understand... or don't want to accept it.... so maybe your family don't understand...

I am not sure about your counsellor though... I guess not all counsellor are the same...

I hope you can get through this with out doing too much harm to yourself...

*squishes*