i cant do this anymore
 

f*** i dont know what to do. i cant do this anymore. i dont do anything im just a f***ing burden. i dont do anything. i sit in my room. i dont talk to friends, i just cant deal with them.
my mom still hasnt figured out that i havent stopped cutting since ive been out of hospital. all i have is an dull razor, though im sure it could do some damage... dont know if it'll kill me. i need to die. i need to f***ing kill myself. argh. i dont know what to do. i dont sleep. i dont go out. the only time i do go out is when i go to therapy. then i sit there in the office and i cry. thats all i do. i cant say anything cos im scared that they'll send me back to the f***ing ward. i cant go back to hospital. so its just better if no one knows. if no one cares. theres gotta be an end to this.
doctors told me when i was ten that i would be better with a year of therapy and medication. look at me now. 5 years later and 10 times worse. they keep telling me that i'll be better. i dont want anymore f***ing lies. if people could just tell me that, whatever i do, i wont be getting better and that they would understand why i need to kill myself... that would be a hell of alot better than this. im slowly wasting away, though now it seems like its going alot faster. might as well get rid of the suspense and just off myself now. f*** and i cant even do it now cos my mom is in her room and she'll see me taking the pills. tomorrow then. tomorrow i die. im done with this.

*hugs*
PM me if you need to talk!!
Take care of yourself!! xxx

oh hun...whats brought all this on...
please try talk about it! harming yourself wont help

I'm really sorry that you feel like this!!! Please take care of yourself! you are so young... hun there is help out there although it really doesn't seem like it at the minute, you have to want to b helped to b helped and you can! it's not gunna just happen over night and yes it will be fuckin difficult at times but keep with it! coz u deserve life you deserve to b happy just like everyone else on here...we all deserve freedom and at the minute we are all the unlucky angels to fall but we all can pick ourselves backup with the right help and support! please jst keep fighting...im sure u don't really want to die, you jst don't know how to live atm which is fine! but u can get past this... would going to hospital b such a bad thing if it could help you get better or help to save your life?

take care of yourself!
and if u ever wanna jst talk im here to listen, u cn PM anytime
x