wish i would all just fuck off
 

it wasnt my choice, it wasnt me who decided to die so why does it hurt why did it happen, why does everyone i care about hurt to much dfor me to mention it, why does it still hurt after 4 yrs?? i miss him

There are no rules for grief hun, no time limit for how long it will last and no set way people deal with it. It is natural to miss someone who has passed away but there is no explaining why people have to die. I understand the pain of losing someone you care about but eventually you will find yourself missing them slightly less each day and things will get a bit easier. If you can't talk to any friends or family could you consider speaking to a counsellor or someone who could support you in the real world too?

Take care
Emma x

It's okay to miss him. There are people who were in my life that I will miss for the rest of my life. Like Emma said, there is no time limit on grief.
*Gives you a big hug*