Need support
 

Things are getting really tough. My SI is getting increasingly worse again, I don't know how long I can keep this up for. :crying:

I'm sorry for wasting board space, I just...need hugs and stuff. I keep having nightmares again. Nightmares about him. I sometimes feel that he's there and I panic. I can feel him breathing down my neck. It makes my skin crawl.

It's been over a year since I lost my 2nd baby. ****. It hurts so much. I know it was his, but still... :crying: I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do.

Hey hun, i'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment.

Don't worry about posting, keep posting if it helps.

I'm sorry i don't have much useful to say but i just wanted you to know that we are all here for you.

If you want to jsut chat feel free to PM me,
Tabby

I can't imagine the pain of loosing a baby.
But sexual abuse-I know that skin crawl. It'll dissolve away soon, I hope.
Be safe darling.

I feel like i'm being suffocated. Like i'll never be free of him, ever.

It's like a ball and chain, he's always there. I'm constantly reminded of what he did and I hate it.
I just want to cut so bad. I'm such a failure.
Why can I not find any strength in me?
Why am I so weak?

You're not weak or a failure.

It is strong of you to deal with all this pain, very strong.
I know you're struggling right now, but you should be proud of yourself for getting through everyhting you've been through.

No you're definately not weak-I'm discovering the same pattern.
You can't just let it go-and continue. It's hard-and you will get there, you will!

Oh God, I wish I knew what to say. But I don't have an answer as yet-just hold on, it'll be okay-I believe it.

I am trying. Trying so damn hard.
I just want to breathe out all the pain.
But it won't go.
It won't ****ing go.

It will go-it will!
And you'll be a stronger person.
And he'll have failed

I love you.

You know I'm here for you. Always.

x

big hugs sweetie, and you are a strong person or you wouldnt be here now...thinking that your weak and a failure is a feeling your abuser wanted you to have, thats how they keep their control. with help and support things will get better. and i know how hard it is to lose a baby, even if the father was your abuser, it doesnt make it hurt any less.
stay strong hun and dont let him win by giving up
here to talk whenever you need it
pls take care
xoxoxox