Drunken mistake
 

Hi Guys,

I need a bit of help here. I have a big crush on a guy in my team at work. I assumed this was totally unreciprocated until yesterday when he asked me to go out for a drink together before drinks for a colleagues leaving do which was already planned. So we went out and had a lovely mini date and then joined the others later.

When we joined them we spent quite a lot of time together. I was getting quite drunk at this stage. after a while the guy went out for a smoke and so i hung with some others. I noticed he'd been gone for ages so i went to see where he was. when i found him he was chatting with some really pretty blonde girls from the office. I got a bit jealous and i think i made it obvious.

We ended up all going to another bar where i blacked out and i have no recollection on what happened. I know that i was hanging out with people and chatting and stuff but i'm worried about what i may have said as these are work colleagues. I don;t have any real indication that I did anything wrong but am just worried that I may have made a fool out of myself. I'm not really the sort to get in a fight etc. I just think i probably made it very obvious that I like him and got a bit intense, and maybe annoyed re blondes.

I'm massively embarrassed by this and don;t know what to do. I've spoken to him this morning and he seems totally fine and told me that theres nothing to worry about but to be honest i'm more concerned about what i may have said to someone else!

What do i do. I really don;t know and am feeling hyper anxious and panicked about going in on Monday. I hate that i got so drunk and it was a huge mistake to do that in front of work people. Luckily everyone who was out is around my age (24) so i'm sure it isn't a massive deal but still, i'm really worried.

PLease help!! Has anyone ever done anything like this before?

Thank you :)

If you're particularly close to any of the work friends aside from this guy, perhaps you could ask them if you did anything that was a bit embarrassing? When you go in on Monday you could mention to people that you're feeling embarrassed about how drunk you got and apologise if you said anything that was a bit odd? Though chances are they may well have been quite drunk too and mightn't remember!

Don't worry too much, the best thing you can do with this experience is use it to motivate you to not get quite so drunk in future.

Thank you Jenna. I will never get that drunk again, at a work event or anything else! I felt so awful yesterday that is enough to motivate me to never get into that situation again.

I could tell you wayyyyy worse stories..like taking a pee on a bathroom window sill thinking it was the loo...at a work buddies house..and Im female!! Can you imagine walking into work after that on a Monday when its the talk of the whole hotel... but I survived it, just about! Although I did quit that job soon afterwards :D

Chill out :D You didnt do anything to hurt anyone else so all guilt can be forgotten. Now regarding the guy...he obviously enjoys your company since he asked you out for pre-party drinks :)
Jealousy is deeply route in insecurity. I speak from experience. It may do you good to work on your self esteem. The more you love yourself the less you feel the need to have others approval.
The less you'll care about the guy you like talking to pretty girls because you are confident in yourself and know that you are fine with or without him & if he got with someone else then you just know hes obviously not the one for you.

You could just talk honestly with him if your really into him. You could tell him the whole situation made you realise how much you like him?
But at the same time getting into a relationship with low self esteem is not a great idea either, you dont want to be that nagging jealous girlfriend type, again speaking from experience! Online you'll find tons of information about boosting your confidence, building self esteem, learning to love yourself. It may seem silly at first but believe me its necessary. You dont want to end up like me in a few years because you never put in the effort to really take care of yourself. Also going to a therapist is obviously another way of doing this, whatever works for you hun!

A word of warning...its not normal to black out. I know it happens to a lot of us, but its not safe and not worth the worry & problems it causes. I barely drink these days (Im 25) because I know all to well the trouble it can get me in or rather that I get myself in.
What do you drink? Vodka? Im a huge whiskey fan!! Could drink it all night, but Ive learned over the years it a last call drink if even, not an all night drink. Try moving onto bottles, their expensive and small :D Balls I know but you may find it helps you to drink less and enjoy yourself more.
If you are uncomfortable/stressed/anxious/self conscious when your out your more likely to down booze so to help you cope. Its pretty much done subconsciously but watch for this next time you are out and you can start consciously choosing how quickly you drink.

Ok one last thing, are either of your parents big drinkers? If so take note that an alcoholic gene may have been passed onto you. This would mean you naturally have a lower tolerance to booze. It sucks (my Mom and Dad are both drinkers so I know I have it & my sister too) but thats life.

These days our culture is too focused on partying.. I used to love it I'd go on the session non stop..but I can tell you now its not what lifes about. Going out and getting hammered can be good to relieve stress at the end of a tough week, but it shouldnt be your only outlet for how you destress. Im not saying this is the case for you, but mentioning it just in case.


Be thankful and proud that you notice these issues and take positive steps into resolving them.
Best of luck hun <3

Thank you OverEmotional. I have to say that a lot of what you've said is true. I am pretty insecure and have really low self esteem right now which I need to work on. I actually think this has affected me so much because of my self esteem issues.

I also get what you say about blackouts. Unfortunatly i've been getting them for many years, although not every time i drink. My dad was an alcoholic so that makes the situation a bit worse.

I think i'm just going to scope the situation tomorrow. Apologise to the guy in person (we were texting before) as well as two friends who no doubt had to listen to me going on about crap! I feel awful but i think thats a good thing as it shows how much this just isn't me at all.

Hopefully people will be understanding :)

How did it go at work? It sounds like you are reacting to the situation really sensibly and I hope that your colleagues reassured you that you didn't need to worry about it :)

ghow'd work go? As has been said chances are others were drunk too so your drunkness won't have seemed such a big deal, and I'm sure everyone (almost) has over indulged on alcohol from time to time so will understand. May be a bit of teasing for a bit, but next time it will probably be someone else who gets overly drunk and the cycle will go round again


I think EVERYONE has said that like amillion times :P