Anxious/scared about going back to school...
 

I realize this is probably the dumbest thing ever and doesn't deserve a post, but if nothing else, it will help me get the thoughts out of my mind.

I thought that I could move back into my dorm (after winter break) tomorrow evening, which is Sunday. But I just found out I actually can't move in until Monday after noon, as the college is closed in observance of New Year's. I know I should be happy I get an extra 1/2 day off, since I've been so terribly anxious/scared of going back to school again after 6 weeks off. But instead I burst into tears upon finding this out, and in my head, I'm still mentally crying. It's like, I was all psyched up to just go back and get it over with starting Sunday, but now I have to wait even longer to dive into what I'm so nervous about. :cry:

So yes, I know this is pathetic. I'm just so sad and scared, mostly because I never manage to have a spare moment to breathe during the academic term, and my sleep is never enough. Also, I'm terribly lonely during the night, despite my best efforts to socialize and contact people during the day. So lonely that it usually leads to self harm and thoughts of dying, although I've never taken action on those thoughts yet.

Ok...pointless rant done.

Not got many words but I understand why you are upset about the day you go back changing. I hate it when you are planning something for weeks and then it changes.....

Thinking of you xxxx

^ agree! It horrible when you've working yourself up for something and then it changes. And it's not dumb and it does deserve a post because you're worried about it x x

*hugs*

Thank you SO very much for the hugs and comments. They mean a lot.

Tomorrow I go back in the afternoon...it's crazy because classes don't even start until the day after...all I have is an evening meeting for the campus newspaper, which I work on. I packed most of my things today, and now I'm just a jumbled up bundle of nerves. Ugh, why does this happen every time I go back to school?? :pinch: