There are lots of people and assessments at med school.
 

In theory this should be fine. But I've noticed more and more anxiety, especially social anxiety, since the beginning of the year. I had a panic attack last week, and two near misses.

Today I'm going to be shadowing a consultant I've never met before, an activity I've never done before. I'm worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. I'm worried about having another panic attack. I know I'm not being judged, but I'm still worried.
Hopefully I'll just be required to sit in on consultations, nod and smile, and take notes. *It'll be okay*

But more generally, if I say to anyone "people scare me" (the most simplistic explaination of social anxiety ever), then they respond with "well you're trying to be a doctor - you're going to have to deal with people". But then if I explain that being in that position - being the helper, listener, questioner - is so much different to being in a pub full of strangers, or consulting in front of an assessor, or even having a conversation with a group of 5/6 friends... Well, it doesn't make that much sense really. It's just a different context. I can listen to a friend, but I feel like a **** having a conversation - because I'm worried about how I'm being interpreted!

Ugh, I don't know what I was hoping to achieve here. Just let it out I guess.
I was getting teary about it, but I now think that this may be due to the time of month.

Anyway, I'm going to leave soon, get to the hospital, and I'll let you know how it goes...

:notsure:

Maybe what you need to explain to them is that the thought of assessment/being judged affects you and makes you much more anxious than it does others. That you are aware of this, and working on it, but would appreciate them being aware and mindful of it?

Roiben x

That's a useful way of putting it. :)
For formal assessments I can get "reasonable adjustments", so I'm definitely going to find out what that would entail.

Today I was sitting in with a Specialist Nurse (not a consultant) so it was less intimidating than I thought it would be.

Glad it went ok today.

I understand how you feel. I am anxious, especially in social situations and am studying for a profession in healthcare. It challenges me and pushes me out of my comfort zone, but I see this as a healthy challenge and a good thing in the long run.