never enough
 

It never seems like my SI is bad enough. I always want to go deeper, and make it scar worse. (Also with some ED issues with not losing enough weight...) I get so upset with myself if it doesn't go as deep or bleed as much as I want it to. If I'm not satisfied, I want to SI more... and it all kind of goes in a cycle. At the moment, I'm very upset that I didn't make a very bad mark. I keep going back and forth between wanting to quit SI and not trying to recover :/

Can anyone else relate or have any words of wisdom?

What is making you want to more, you say you are going between wanting to stop and keeping going which is stronger?

I know how you feel, you always want to go that little bit deeper, and even when you do go deeper it still isn't enough
If you can, try and focus more on recovery and try and push those thoughts of going deeper out of your mind
I haven't really got much advice seeming as I'm in a simular situation, but if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me anytime,
Take care :)x

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time... If you need to talk please feel free to PM me

Try not to focus on the depth or severity of the cut, after I've SI I always just clean the cut and then not look at it.

I cut because I can't feel anything else,so I focus on the temporary pain I feel
X

I'm like that too... you aren't alone <3

Words of advice? I'd say just breathe and try to stop or text a friend to distract you

Thank you all for your wonderful responses... it really means a lot to me

Louise: I'm having a hard time liking myself... I don't think highly of 'me.' I'd have to say that the feeling of not wanting to recover is stronger a lot of the time (though there are always the times where I'm truly committed to quitting).
Thanks again everyone *hugs*

I hope you're doing better today, dear <3