Triggers...
 

I don't understand why I have been so triggered recently. Little things push me into uncontrolled anxiety... and I want nothing more than to bruise myself, to cut myself, to feel the pain that will give me control for a little longer. :-(

Even here I feel as if I am alone, cast adrift in a sea of nothingness... as if I don't belong. I want to understand. I want to feel. I want to be normal - is that asking for too damned much?

Harming yourself is not giving you control because it's not doing anything to solve the actual underlying problems. Having said that, I know it's not easy.
As for feeling alone on this website, why do you feel that way?

im really sorry that youre feeling lonely here.

Vets can be really slow at times with people working and tending to children, etc.

but it doesnt mean that we dont care.

and,. no what youre asking for is not too much. but sometimes it takes a long time to get to the "ok" part.

i find that when im stressed about anything really that little things can trigger me. financial matters, relationships, schooling, children, etc.
hormones can also play a part of the little things triggering you.

im sorry that youre having such a rough time.
please update when you feel able.
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

I should have a lot in common with people on here... and I do. But always feel on the outside looking in. Most of the forum is too young - I can't relate. I've visited chat - again, very young and even serious was seriously off topic. Here, I think there is a better fit... but I still feel very much alone. The outsider. Peering in the windows from a blustery winter day, watching and never being a part. I know i shouldn't feel that way, but i do. I don't even know what I need.

I'm sorry you feel alone here, but I can understand it.
Vet's, as Rach said, is very slow.
But we do care and want to know how you are.
Do you have professional help of any sort? If so, it is helping? Are you able to say what you did here?
If not, would you consider seeing your GP for a referral?
Facet is right in saying that harm doesn't really give you any control, tho it may feel it right now.
There are much better ways to ease these feelings.
Do you know why certain things are making you anxious?
There are good ppl out there who can help you make sense of all this crap, help you feel not so alone, as well as help you find the reasons behind your urge to harm, which is crucial.
Thinking of you
xxx

I am seeing a counsellor... first time in my life. It scares the **** out of me. She knows about the SH, not the extent of it... I don't know if it is going to help or not. Some days I don't know how I can go on like this. Really having a rough time lately. Something has to change. Something has to give.

I've been trying to read some of the other posts on the forum, perhaps see if I can offer some help or support... but right now they are too triggering, or i can't relate... or both. Just not healthy for me right now.

Still muddling along. Still feeling incredibly triggered. This is a horrid place to be.

How are you feeling now? Can you identify what it is that is triggering you and try distract yourself? I know that can be extremely difficult. It's good you are seeking help and I know it is terrifying. I have been refered to speak to someone and I am also terrified, but I guess it's a step in fighting this.

Not in a good place. Can't sleep. Can't concentrate on anything. Really restless and my thoughts are in dark places. I really hate the hell that is my life. :(

do you se a doctor, maybe meds woulod help xx