Unsure.
 

I'm not sure if i should be posting. Really high anxiety. Not dealing well - I never do. I'm never sure if I belong - never seem to fit in. I'm having a difficult time and i don't know what I need, what I want or what I should be doing.

Really feeling alone and not coping well. Is there anybody out there?

the Board's a bit slow today - but there's no reason why you shouldn't post!

Has anything happened to trigger you?

Nothing specific. Just having a hard time recently.

This board is very slow.
But as Tok said, pls don't feel you shouldn't post
Do you have any sort of care team? A T, couns., CPN?
Anyone you could ctc to talk to?
Would having someone with you help?
Do you have any 'grounding techniques' to help with the anxiety? Or prn?
I know anxiety can be so horrible and debilitating.
Hope you are feeling somewhat better.

The only care team i have is a counselor. I see her next week, but still haven't been able to open up to really talk to her. It feels like i keep too many secrets. I've told her about the SI, but not the extent of it.

I've made it this far alone. It's only recently that I've even been to talk to a counselor. That was hard enough. I'm so tired of this. My life is not going where I want it to go. It seems to be jammed in reverse, and every time I look up something else is looming over my head. I was in better shape 20 years ago. And I don't know how to halt the slide down - it feels like the entire mountain is coming down on my head. :crying:

It's good that you found a counselor to talk to. A big step. How long have you been going for? I found it really hard to talk to my therapist for quite a long time, maybe instead of talking to her about the hard stuff you could talk a bit about how hard it is to talk about the hard stuff (if that makes sense?).

I understand what it is like to feel overwhelmed. It is really good you are reaching out irl and on this forum. I wish I had magic words to comfort you.

ps - i'm sure i have asked this before but what does ctc mean? thanks.

By the sound of it you have done something to stop the slide down - you've started to see a counsellor. And caged bird's suggestion is a good one - I did a whole lot of talking with my current counsellor about all the barriers to my talking openly with her and it really helped me to trust her

Some days it just feels like things are out of control. The sickening dive into depression - almost like someone pulled the bottom out of my world, and there is no rational reason for the sudden change in what i am feeling.

Right now it feels like I am reaching out and there is no-one there. Not in a good place at all...

I don't know if I can help Hermit. I'm actually feeling the same way, but I'm here.

Thanks Solo. Shared experience eh? :/

Yea, we're kindred spirits.

I wish I had some advice to give but struggling myself,sort of lurking about here but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and I know it's hard to open up to a counseller,I found that writing things down before the session helped and eventually she could tell how I was feeling without too much "pushing" x