A drink, for the horror that I'm in....
 

It's 2038.... I need a drink..... God, what i wouldn't give for a bottle of wine...... Just one bottle.... Can't be that bad, can it????

I'm gonna get sooo ****ing sick from this detox..... Right now i just wanna say screw it all. I just wanna not take the buse and drink and drink until i pass out.... I wanna yell and scream at the ones who are gonna make me take it..... Just one ****ing drink.

I'm gonna be sober for a while..... And i hate it. I know it was first and foremost my decision to start on the antabuse but now i feel, with having to start it tomorrow, that i have backed into a corner from which there is no escape.... It is finally beginning to dawn upon me... I can't drink..... THey say i'll die if i try..... For ****s sake!!!!!!

I'm so anxious.... Haven't had a drink since monday where i got soo wasted and nearly burned the house down...... For the past 3 months i don't remember how i got to bed once i finished drinking.... Monday i threw my entire ashtray into the dustbin, cut the **** outta myself and smoked more than two packets and forgot to take my meds all because i was so drunk that i eventually passed out....

Woke up at 4 in the morning, shaking and in a cold sweat..... Saw my arm with all the tiny wounds and then vaguely started to remember what had happened....

I am so ashamed..... Antabuse..... Because i have a drinking problem.... Like i haven't done enough to disgrace my name already.....

Kat...
i promise you CAN do this.
yes, you will feel like ****.
yes, you will want to drink.
yes, it will be very uncomfortable for a while.
ive been there hunni.
please hang in there.
i know you can do it.
if you need anything at all, please give me a shout.
much love.
xx

Take little steps and be proud of what youve achieved Kat.
Two days with out after three months of heavy drinking is a step forward.
Keep posting here so we can support you through this difficult time
Much love
xx rowie xx

You can do this you can deffitily do this just stick to it!!! ::hugs::