would you rather be feared or loved?
 

i was out with some friends last night and this particular topic actually came up and it had some interesting answers. so it kind of got me curious on what everyone here's answers might be and why.

Loved.

Neither. I'd like to be recognised for what I am. If I'm feared, I won't have friends, only enemies. I'll have no one I can rely on, no one I can trust properly because I'll know they only act out of fear. If I'm loved, people will act without thinking, and I'll feel like I'm using people out of their love for me. It'll be like I'm driving them, controlling them. I'd rather be recognised for who and what I am.

Depends on which part of me you're asking, which one of my personality states.

To simplify, most of me would rather be loved. And to love.
Love meaning in the widest sense of being understood and respected and accepted and seen.

But the whole defensive business to survive with lack of love... has led to that part of me preferring to be feared, to keep people away and 'protect' myself. "Because love hurts, right?"

i'd like to say loved but in all honesty i'd have to go with feared.

"It is better to be feared than be loved."

Feared. If everyone was scared of me, I'd have nobody then there would be nobody to hurt. And other reasons I guess.

This is interesting. The majority of people here are saying that they'd prefer to be feared. The majority of people here self harm or have self harmed in the past, and so have low self esteem and confidence. A lot may have been bullied, picked on or abused, which has put fear into them. Yet the majority here says that they would like to be feared so they cannot be (further) hurt.

I'm intrigued, if the same question was posted on a different type of forum, for example a horse forum (which my friend uses), would we get the same answers?

I would rather be loved. I just recognised that this subject was brought up in Alice in Wonderland.

I would have thought more people would have brought that up.

Loved, I guess.

I'd have thought more would prefer to be loved because of abuse/neglect, but I can see how people would rather be feared to prevent oneself from getting hurt.

Being feared and being loved are equally beneficial, so long as you're respected and, most importantly, not hated. If you're hated, you risk being done in eventually.

I hate being feared. Having people be scared of you, well, it sucks.

I would much rather be loved.

Both

cause many people can either fear you ...for certain things or love you cause of your personality...

so the answer is hard to choose so i say both

I think being feared can still mean you're loved, just mean that you're likely to be dishonest & be submissive & even lie because you're so scared of them. That I wouldn't want.

I could make either work for me honestly. Are we talking about everyone here? Like everyone fears/loves you or just most people?

At the moment I'd rather be loved, but at times I'd rather be feared. Good question.

Neither, I'd rather be a hermit. Whether you're loved or feared you're likely to be be hurt. At least if you are a hermit you won't be hurt.

I'm much too emotional to be able to rule by fear, though I would prefer it.


Someone has been reading the Prince by Machiavelli, huh? :D

http://www.constitution.org/mac/prince17.htm

Loved. if only for one day.
But, why would anyone want to be feared?? Fear is massively overrated.

i dont really know what it is to be loved... ¬_¬
i say feared simply because i think love requires much trust. and thats something i have very little-none of. *shrugs*