Something to chew over...
 

My psychiatrist gave me something to chew over. He asked me whether I needed to be happier to be able to stop cutting, or stop cutting to be able to be happier.

I just wondered your own personal thoughts on this?

For me I think, one of my triggers is my constant low mood, so I thought that in order to stop cutting, I would have to be in a more stable mood in the first place.

What about you?

I think it was a mixture of both for me. To feel able to stop cutting, I had to feel happier. But to feel happier overall, I had to be able to stop cutting. I had to have control over it. I had to have control over my body. I had to feel confident within myself.

I know that my friends made me feel better within myself, then a few weeks later, I realised that I hadn't cut and felt generally better. SO the two kinda worked together, I think.

I think it is a bit of both two.
For me I couldn't have stopped until I was in a place where I felt safer and happier and felt like that there would be someone or something there to help me through when things got hard.
But I think there was only so happy I could be whilst I was still self harming and that it was holding me back and the only way to be happier was to stop.

That's quite a consideration. The two are very closely linked.

For me, if I stop cutting for an amount of time it is because I am happier and therefore not thinking about it as such. I say happier, I mean busier or more distracted. As soon as I realise how long I've gone then I return to doing it again. But again, conversely, I look back and realise how much freer I felt without cutting and so not cutting caused happiness. I guess I get quite confused so this probably isn't much help but hey, I'll think about it.

I think I'd have to stop cutting to be happy. The way I've been brought up, I don't deserve something unless I earn it, so if I haven't struggled in order to be happy, I don't deserve it. So if I fight through my bad feelings and stop cutting I've earned it, if it was an easy ride... Well, life aint an easy ride is it? :)

*hug* xxxx

This suggests that one of your triggers is counting the days/weeks/months. I was the same. As soon as I stopped counting, it became easier. You say you're busier or more distracted. Do you count that as happier?

I'm the same with counting days. My school psychologist made me to this chart thing which I put a tally each time I cut. That was pretty triggering. So I get where you're coming from with that as well

For me, it's an endless cycle that I can't break free from.

Hmm.. thats quite an interesting question.
I started cutting because i was unhappy, but those underlying causes havent gone.
So whilst in way cutting does cause me a lot of unhappiness (hiding it, feeling ashamed, out of control, failing at stopping, being scared of myself etc.) and i would feel some relief if i didnt rely on it, i would still be unhappy because the other stuff is not resolved.
I think once all the underlying stuff was sorted, then it would be only the cutting causing me to be unhapy, so then it would be stop cutting to be happier, but for now its be happier to stop cutting.
that was something to think about, so thank you :]

Haha no problem :) I've been thinking over this since my psych appointment and I was like.... ugh, I don't actually know?

Don't look up - I'm the same as you somewhat I think.

Very interesting question.
Self-injury and I have a very unhealthy relationship with one another. I have to hurt myself because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy at least partially due to hurting myself (shame, feeling like a failure).

However, I can't seem to stop hurting myself because I'm unhappy. It's a vicious cycle that I see no end for. :/

Be happier to stop for me.
I know because it happened.
Life suddenly got a lot better.
I got happier.
I've pretty much stopped cutting...
Although I must admit, I am a bit happier because I stopped.
But I wouldn't have had things not gotten better.

Just think.
Are your problems causing your cutting?
Or is your cutting the cause of your problems?

^^^ That is actually a really good question, forever lost!!!!!

It is a good question indeed, and something which I have been thinking about a lot too.

For me, although cutting can cause a lot of problems for me, it's problems that cause my cutting.

Hard question.

Urm... I think I'd need to be happy to stop.