The comfort of the tool
 

I had mentioned a few days ago, that I went so far as to buy a *tool* for self-harm, but haven't used it yet. (Which is a good thing.) Some people suggested getting rid of it if I could, but I don't think I can. I can't let it go. In fact, it almost induces full panic to even think about throwing it away. It's like a security blanket. I need to know it's there. I need to know I have it if I need it. Is that silly?:crying:

It's not silly. I can certainly relate to that and I think many other people will be able to as well.
x

Its not silly at all, I have the same issue.

I always have to have blades in my bag, becuase they make me feel safe and at ease, "security blanket" I panic if I dont have them

So I dont think your the only person dont worry :)

xxx

Not silly at all, hun - I am totally the same, used to take mine everywhere with me, you're not alone. <3

I can understand why you dont want to get rid of it.

How about putting in a safe place? Somewhere not immediately accessible (that way if you get an impulse to use it, finding it will take time and you might change your mind). You could put it in the bottom of a box, and fill the box with things to distract you. Like a DVD, CD, inspirational quotes or letters to yourself, photographs, goals you want to achieve. Really positive stuff. If you go through all of that perhaps when you reach the tool at the bottom, you wont want to use it anymore.

i don't think it's silly. however, i find that when i do have a tool for comfort, i almost always use it. maybe that's because when i feel the need to have one, it's because i'm worse, or maybe if i didn't have the tool to hand i'd get through without it, i'm not sure. but no, i don't think it's silly.

i always have something with me.

That's a really great idea. Thank you so much. I definitely wouldn't have thought of something like that but it's very helpful and positive. Hugs.

i dont think its silly, i a exsactly the same where i feel i need something with me or have a plan all the time as something to fall back on encase things get too hard, it makes me feel safe and more at ease. my psychologist didnt really understand the concept of something that causes me harm making me feel safe though. what i did though was manage to give up my blades for a week and then after that if i wanted it back i got it back again but i didnt want them back again once i had got rid of them i learnt that i could cope without the safety net! saying that though i still do constantly have a plan of how i could kill myself, but im trying to learn to not do that too!

take care
x

Not at all silly sweetie. I always have mine even when i havent used it in ages and i also get panic[y] when i think about getting rid of it.

The suggestion above is brilliant. I also knew someone who put theirs in a small box and then in lots of bag with hard knots and then wrapped loads of tape round it and hid it somewhere. That way if ur desperate it will take a while to get to it and by the time u do, the urges might have passed

Good luck hon x x x

I know exactly how you feel, I always have blades with me, even when I'm out, I get really panicky if I don't have any nearby.

I can absolutely relate to this. One of my friends kept insisting I throw all my tools away so I had to go as far as to lie that I had just to keep her off my back :O

x

It's not silly at all - when you've used something as a coping strategy for any length of time, it can be scary to think that that strategy isn't there anymore.

It's not silly, I can relate. Even when I didn't cut for a year I still couldn't throw away my tools.

Im the same. I need my tools. Theyre tucked away and hidden, but I still need them xx

No I don't think it's silly , I always carry a tool in my wallet , it's comforting to have it there .

I feel like that. I always have to have a tool with me and even when I stopped for two years I couldn't throw the last tool away. Somehow knowing that I could cut made it easier not to - it was my choice not to use the tool rather than it being something I couldn't do.

Needing a tool for comfort makes total sense to me.

not silly at all, my tools are kept in my bra so noone will ever find them and take them off me. i cant get rid of them

hunny its not silly at all.
i am the same way and have been for a long time!
xxx

I agree, not bad at all! I keep a tool or two in my pockets usually.

Nicole, not to be rude... what tools are you using that fit in your BRA? :P