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__T 11-01-2010 12:50 AM

Sexual Urges
 
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

MammaMia 11-01-2010 01:08 AM

hahaha

squirrelspit 11-01-2010 01:28 AM

:-D

.....

sdixon 11-01-2010 01:34 AM

That was a good one

GlitterTrashDoll 11-01-2010 01:39 AM

Hahaha! I like!

001100111 11-01-2010 01:48 AM

I was so about to give a serious answer to this...


but yeah, i snickered

gypsyroselee 11-01-2010 02:00 AM

:-D

12345

HopeRises 11-01-2010 02:04 AM

haha thats a good one!

DestroyMe 11-01-2010 02:34 AM

I laughed
I'm surprised she didn't smack you tbh XD

OutOfTheWoods11 11-01-2010 02:38 AM

ROFL =p

moonlet 11-01-2010 06:40 AM

Hehe.

RainbowsAndButterflies 11-01-2010 08:57 AM

Thats good!

bexidecimal 11-01-2010 09:54 AM

lol yeah i read that before xD tis awsome =]

Zedebee 11-01-2010 01:31 PM

Love it =D

kona 11-01-2010 01:53 PM

fantastic!

UnanimousAnonymous 11-01-2010 02:48 PM

LMAO! Love this.
i didnt realise it was a joke at first. haha
You made my day a little bit brighter :)

Steel Magnolia 11-01-2010 03:38 PM

Ha yeah I didnt realize it was a joke at first either! Love it hahaha!!

Tears and Rain 11-01-2010 03:51 PM

Hahaha, definitely better with the not realising it was a joke until about half way through :P
Loveit.

ColourExplosion 11-01-2010 04:46 PM

hahaha thats epic

__T 11-01-2010 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherPlaceToFall (Post 2085563)
LMAO! Love this.
i didnt realise it was a joke at first. haha
You made my day a little bit brighter :)


Good :]


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