Wanting scars???
 

Is this just me but
I've seen scars on other self harmers and how some are purple some are red and some are very raised (hydratrophic?)

But for a while it seems like i've actually started wanting the Red/Purple scars instead of white/pink ones.

Like the other month i was like in my head how the hell do you get those purple scars and I aint got any...

I don't really know what to say, except you're not alone i feel like this too, i find myself longing for other people's scars. For me i think it is because some of my scars, not all, aren't that noticeable and it makes the whole thing seem less real. Maybe this is the same for you, i'm not sure. Maybe for a while try to stay away from pictures of other people's scars until you feel better about it.

Hope you are ok. Stay safe

i know the feeling lolly hun
sometimes you want keloid (raised red ones) scars like other people to make what you're going through seem serious enough, to make the pain seem real, to show that you're struggling- at least thats the way it is for me
from people i know that have them and hate them though i'd say they're not orth it and you cant take them bacl
be safe hun
Beth

I have some scars that are pink/white, some that began purple and faded to white and some that have always been purple. I would guess it depends on how the wound heals rather than what you do.

I also find myself longing to make a certain kind of scar, you're not alone. Try not to compare yourself with other people if you find it triggering, hun.

And I agree with Snailsgomoo (great name btw!) that for me wanting to see noticeable scars helps the experience to feel real. (I have trouble with feeling as if I am not real some days.)

Take care, Sx

hey i totally relate to what you are all saying i often look at my scars and wish they were more noticable or bigger having scars helps me not cut but when they all begin to fade i have this insassant desire to cut again. i don't know but scars help remind me it's real and also if they were bigger and better (in a sense ) then that would make me more serious about what i do. i dunno

^^ I completely agree with what you just said, Nineflyz.

You really don't want them.
They fck you over big time.
Nobody will talk to you and everyone will avoid you like the plague.
So no, you really don't want them, ever.
Mine are hugs, pink and purple, all over my arms.
You do not want them, I guarentee.

I can also completely empathize here as i often feel the same, there is a girl that walks around school who has very bad scars and i always feel angry towards her because mine arent as bad. I know that it's stupid but i cant seem to help.
I also hate it when mine fade because i like the fact that people can look at my arms and see that i have been through hard times. I would never expose fresh cuts though.

I never hope for worse scars. I hate the ones I've already got.

I don't need to justify myself with scars to prove that I've had a hard time. I don't think suffering is something you need to show off. I mean.. it doesn't prove anything. Not to me, atleast.

My scars just stop me getting naked O.o

well the shape and color of your scars is actually depending on the color and texture of your skin
also how bad the cut is so

All of mine are the flat, brownish ones because the wounds were never really deep. I always went for quantity (the more the better) rather than quality (the deeper the better), not to mention my tool only allowed for a little depth as my way of trying to keep myself as safe as possible when I'd do it. People never think my SI was serious since most of my scars have faded over the years, so yeah I've definitely wanted some more noticeable/keloid scars as a way to show the pain better. But I know that the ones I have are easier to cover up and are less noticeable when I'm in shorts and a tank top, so in a way I'm happy that the ones I have are not as severe looking.

I have both and I have to say, the only problem I have with the raised ones is that they're itchy as hell for the first few years. People avoid me because of my self harm but thats due to the numerous scars on my arms and chest and neck (neck isn't self harm, was due to surgery but people assume that because of my arms, i obv tried to kill myself by slitting my throat >.<)

I basically despise my faded scars because at least I can pass the raised scars off as burns I got when I was cooking or something along those lines.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Sometimes I do want my scars to be worse and sometimes I just want them to disappear completely.

Don't worry Netti, I think we all do, I know I definately do.
I used to and still do get jealous when I see people with really serious scars on their bodies. But I also know that if my scars have restricted my life so much, then their's must destroy it.

Your not alone many self injurers want their scars bigger and worse... like me but i have a few raised red ones that have been like that for a couple of years now, I hate them, like shieldworld i find them really itchy...

I do have bad scars however I always feel that I wish they were worse. The risk of infection does make me think but ovbiously not enough.

Frankiex

You really don't want keloid ones, they itch, the hurt when you bang them. and not only do you have to worry about people seeing them but you also start to worry about people feeling them through your clothes, you have to plan your outfit and make sure your bumps dont show in them, they really are awful.

I second Lau and Sheildworld. I have to wear very thick tights or socks over my tights to hide my keloid scars. The surfaces have becomes very ... I dunno... scaly as they heal, unless I moisturise several times a day. Three months after I made them are still sore inside and make me feel kinda nausious when I touch them. *shudders*

:ermm: Can I interpret this as meaning they will keep itching for years!?

Yeah, I feel a weird pang of jealousy when I see people with worse scars. Then I remember how much I hate my own most of the time.

It's dreadful, but I have a favorite scar... I'm so ashamed to admit that.

Well i do the tops of my arms and they are all keloid, been doing it there for 7 years and they still itch. Even some t-shirts show my scars cos they are so raised.

My scars were never severe enough to be raised or anything, like xxworldxoffxx, I went for quantity over quality. In the sun you can still faintly see them (my cousin noticed this summer) and honestly sometimes I miss them.... and would like to have permanent ones. I tell myself this might screw me over in the future in terms of a job (I want to be a high school teacher) but I still want them. One of my friends has purple scars and white scars (her two years free was on Saturday and they haven't really faded at all) and I get jealous of them sometimes.

I also find that the skin on my arms heals amazingly well and it was always hard to get a lasting scar.... the few times I cut my leg the same way I would go about hurting my arm it was more severe and I am now left with purple scars on my leg. I'm thinking a lot of the time it depends on the skin.....

I have keloid scars all over my left arm (none on my right arm, they've mostly faded by now). They are not pretty to look at, but they remind me of the time when I was in so much pain that I wanted people to notice. The keloid scars are as a result of cutting my arm deep, but I would advise you not to do that, as the scars are really itchy afterwards. Also, as said above, the type of scars you get can depend on your skin type and how well they heal.

Katie.
x

I hate my hypertrophic scars.

I just.. I can't even fathom right now why someone would want such disfigurement on their arms, when it is going to interfere with relationships, getting a job, and general well-being well after you've recovered.

I hate mine. I always have, always will. I remember seeing them on other peoples arms too and it's never something I have aspired too. I have many on my legs that I neither like nor hate - they are just there. But on the arm I would do anything to go back to when it happened and stop myself.

Laura, in regards to your original post it' likely you'd be wanting them as some sort of validate the seriousness of your pain, I suggest you try another way such as writing/drawing/talking that will work better for you in the longrun.

Agree.

Yeah I do know what you mean because I always felt like I was being punished 'enough' but yeah now I have them and god you really don't want them =\
But as soon as they start to fade I do notice I get more urged to do that again..

I have to agree here... the are awful, the never really "feel" fully healed if that makes sense... they always sort of ache inside or sting, or as has been said itch to the pint of hurting... I've had to get rid of some of my jeans due to them as you can see the "bumps" through them... and wearing skirts is hell as they are bright dark red, and turn bluey/purple in the cold (bad in aberdeen lol) which makes them SO visible...


however, I can understand this wanting worse ones thing... it's like you see other people who's are worse and think that you aren't "bad" though or aren't doing it "right" or whatever... though that isn't true, the fact we do it is the thing not how deep or much... the depth or severaty of the cuts is not directly proportional to the degree of pain or suffering we are experiencing

Tbh, it makes me feel like **** having these scars.
As Aimee said, I've literally ruined everything I could have by being them.
I was hellbent on causing as much damage as possible to myself, so this meant that I have numerous purple scars all over my arms.
I would do anything to get rid of them.
I even asked about surgery and the NHS wont because they're too bad.
So yeah.
Don't do it.
It;s so bad getting looked at like I do.

I always wish my scars weren't so noticeable, and I'm glad when they're white and faded, I have some which I always cover because they're dark and noticeable..
You really shouldn't compare yourself to other SH'ers, otherwise you'll feel as though they are worse than you and maybe make you feel inferior.. I don't know

I went through a phase of wishing that my scars were worse than they were. I used to think that because they weren't raised, and they faded after a few months, that they weren't good enough, that I wasn't good enough.

Now. I do have keloid scars, and I hate them, I wish that I could go back to the times when they did fade.

At the same time, though, I think I'd be upset if they did go totally, they're a part of me now, I say I hate them, but I think I have a weird relationship with them.

I agree with that.

I have got some horrific ones on my legs and sometimes i wish they would all go away so i could stop wearing long sleeves and pants and hiding myself from everybody, and making stupid excuses.
However sometimes when i notice new-er ones healing, or that they have healed, and the pain is still there, its like they were useless and gone and they cant fix it anymore and I get urges again only worse then the time I put the first ones there
A vicious cycle.