Other self harm sites.
 

Before I start this, I'd just like to remind everyone not name or link to other sites!

Basically I'm interested to know how many people use "pro" self-harm sites in addition to RYL, or even just ones with much laxer rules.

Because I see a lot of hypocrisy round here. I see people wanting to bring in stricter rules and then see the same members posting pictures of their self-harm or discussing things on pro-sites. This duality really confuses me, I mean why would you want strict rules in one place, but incredibly lax ones in another place you use?

I use RYL because it is a large and friendly community. However when I want to look at self-harm pictures/ask a question about something that wouldn't be allowed on RYL, then I use other sites.

I'm guess I'm interested in knowing what proportion of you use other sites? And if you do, why do you? Do you do it to purposely trigger yourself, or are you just interested in discussing self harm without any boundaries about tip-sharing? Or are there other reasons?

Also, if you do use other sites, do you specifically use a "pro" and a recovery site so you change site depending on your mood? And do you want different rules on both sites? Or do you use RYL because it is such an active community with great people and then use pro-sites when you feel RYL's rules are restrictive?

Please note this is not a criticism of individual members, or the way in which RYL is run. It's just something I've noticed as I've used both kinds of sites and it intrigues me as to what other's reasons are for doing so.

I only use ryl

x

I use pro sites when I'm feeling particularly bad, and want to trigger myself into doing a large amount of damage to myself.

Even if I hated the way RYL was run and the rules etc [which I don't], I'd still come here because of the community here.

Basically what I was going to say

I use pro sites for one purpose, and RYL for another. I might be a hypocrite, but I respect both sides of the coin and therefore the rules on both sides of the coin mean a lot to me. I'm not making sense, but I'll try and explain later.

I only use RYL, but I have been on to others

^ I know what you mean.

I only use RYL. Not for the support anymore, but for the community.

Basically, you were probably referring to me in your first post. Ok, so I am touchy about people covernig up scars/cuts. I have personal opinions about having scars/cuts showing. I see there is a need to keep things hidden, and I don't understand why that can't just be done by wearing long sleeves (and yes I have spent summers in a psych hospital with kept the central heating on during the summer). However (and people who knew me on V2/v1 know I used to do this myself) I disagree with having scars/cuts to show because it's triggering, gross, whatever. However on pro sites, I expect it and I find it helpful if I am already triggered to look at pictures of self harm, pictures of my own, pictures of my friends. You probably think it's sick, but so it hurting yourself in the first place. Then you will notice, if you were referring to me in your first post, I still don't post methods on pro sites, even if I do pictures. I also find taking pictures and getting comments can stop me self harming for a time, as it gives me something to think on, some sort of validation. I also think the competitiveness that is subtle and underlying in every site is much better when people are open about it and don't taboo it, because by voicing it we can help ourselves not to do it rather than pretend we're all fine and dandy. So I basically differentiate the needs and uses of pro sites vs recovery sites.

No I wasn't referring to you at all Roby.
If I've encountered you on a pro-site I certainly haven't realised it was you. There are a number of members here I know post on both kinds of sites and it was directed at them as a whole.

Ok, sorry.

I only use RYL.

call me thick, but i like didn't know there were pro selfharm sites

i just use this

I only use RYL day to day, but I'd be lying if I said that I haven't visited other self-harm sites - pro, or not.

Other communities I've found just don't appeal, and they don't seem like the kind of place I could ever become a part of. If I do visit pro websites, then it will be in a really unsteady period, and it's more pro-ED sites than pro-SI sites for me, and I won't join them, remember their names, or be a regular thing. It will be frantic Googling to find something pro, or tipsharing, rather than being loyal to one site - like I am here.

RYL provides a place, generally, where I have a sense of belonging and safety. It doesn't feel as if I could get that any place else, and any other sense of belonging, particularly on pro sites, just seems manipulative somehow. I can't explain it.

x

I didn't either. :confused:
Mind you it doesn't surprise me.

I just use ryl anyhow.

I admit I've used pro-sites for thinspiration and SI pictures.

But I don't think RYL should be too cotton-woolled either. I mean, seriously, it's a self-harm support site.

There are times when, no matter what anybody says, I'll be determined to do something. I'd rather leave people on RYL (who may not be in good places themselves) alone and not waste their time trying to help me when I'm in a p*ssy mood, than post for support and not accept it. I don't think that would be fair of me.

I use RYL for the friendship, support and supporting other people. But I do have days when I won't listen to reason and that's when I spare you all and go someplace else to be moody :p

I sound like a bitch but hey.
Just my take on things.

RYL is the only site I actively use and post on...I use it for the community, not to be judged...for distraction, to help hopefully sometimes...and I think it's focus on recovery is great.

I wish I could say I've never been on a pro site but when I've been very low or not caring what damage I do to myself ( ' the worse the better' kind of mentality), I have been onto them to trigger myself but never joined..

Normally, when I'm in my 'rational' frame of mind, I think Pro sites are pathetic and really terrible and I wish there was a way they could be shut down. Also, even though I've deliberately gone out of my way to find SH pictures at times, usually it just annoys the crap out of me that people would post them, I don't understand it at all. *stops sidetracking*

I probably come across as a huge hypocrite. I use pro sites as well as RYL, but for different reasons.

RYL is my safe place. I know on here I can get support and in a way depend on this place BECAUSE of the rules. I feel protective of the other members, too, which is probably why I started those threads about SI excuses and SI dates in sigs.

I use pro sites when I feel like what I want to say needs somewhere with no rules. For when I want to post pictures and see other people's pictures. When I feel more self destructive. But it doesn't feel safe, and I feel wary of saying too much because I couldn't bear to be responsible for tip sharing or anything like it.

Pretty much said what i was going to.

Ali xox

Only ever been on RYL, never even thought about the idea of pro SI sites at all. I know pro ED sites exist, but hadn't considered the same for SI. The idea of a pro SI site actually frightens me a little!

Like someone else said, I feel safe here. I've only been here a month or so, but I pretty much feel like I've found my 'place' here and I think that with the rules as they are, RYL is a safe haven for many people.

99.9% of the time I'm on RYL. I don't have accounts on any other sites, although I know I did years ago when I first joined RuinYL.

There are 2 small small forums I keep and eye on for professional reasons (they stole our first aid articles and we told them to take them down, and now I baby sit them to make sure they don't put them back up.)

Occasionally I will poke around other sites just to get an idea of what else is going on out there, especially when I'm doing research for the CT. I want to see what the competition is doing basically.

The only thing I do now other than RYL is occasionally, when I'm really low and need some sort of satisfaction for the urges is find pictures. I'd never post any of my own though. It seems way to personal for me. In the same breath, I'd be a liar if I said I've never been to pro sites for various things. I just try to avoid them like the plauge now, since they really only hinder my recovery.

Even if RYL tightens the rules, I'd still come here. Maybe it's because I always try to be very careful about how I put things or maybe it's because the community as a whole would be worth it, but I don't think I'd leave. I honestly love it here, it feels like an extension of my family. Yeah, there have been things I didn't like or people I didn't get along with but that would happen no matter where I went.

At the moment I only use RYL. Back-in-the-day I used to go on a Pro-Ed site, but if I visited that right now it would mess me right up.

But I used to do so [and another SI site, with similar rules to RYL] because there was very little I could say on here, and felt I couldn't reach out for support being a Mod and stuff. Rah rah.

But currently, it's RYL all the way.

I only go on RYL now.
I used to belong to another forum which is MH based and it got to me that members of there seemed to have split personalities in the way they'd post about the one thing on a pro site in a really pro-all-for-it-this-is-great-look-what-i-did *details details* kind of way and on the one I was on post about the same incident in a i'm-so-sad-and-in-need-of-support-i-did-such-and-such kind of way. Those members completely lost my respect because they were milking it for attention in every way possible whatever it took. I never knew how they really felt about what they'd done.

Possibly yeah I didn't think of it like that.

I only really come to RYL for the people I know these days, I'd never consider posting about how I actually feel or anything because I feel like every word is scrutinised, and people are just too quick to jump at you here, I don't like the rules and changes in them have made me feel like this is not a place I can express myself anymore. So I come here and speak to people I like but on the whole I don't try and be a member like I used to.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm glad I made this thread, though when I first posted it I was kind of worried I'd get flamed to death!

But there's been some interesting responses and it's definately made me consider the reasons behind me using both kinds of site. And what's weird is that I'll look at really triggering and graphic things on other sites, but I wouldn't want them on RYL, I guess I feel a bit protective of other people getting triggered (and I know it's hypocritical for me to look at them myself). Overall I think RYL has a good balance of rules at the moment but I do worry about if it gets too much stricter that those not actively in recovery would become hesitant about posting here for support. I don't think there's any danger of RYL dying out as a community, no other sites I've been on have even come close to the level of that that RYL has.

Which rules and changes have made you feel like that?

i have to admit i go on other self harm sites but i use them when i feel like i cant get help here or want a diffrent view on the situation . i go to pro sef harm sites but i dnt do it often i like ryl of all of them

I'm not in recovery right now and I still feel able to be on RYL without feeling uncomfortable.

It's just that I occasionally use pro sites as well.

I only have a membership on ryl. I use to visit pro sites but the ones with all the pictures up just started making me gag (some of the pictures were... over the top) so I stopped. But that's pretty much it. I've got a decend friend base on ryl so I don't stray :P

I used to look at pretty severe pictures out of curiosity. It was also reassuring to know that some people cut as badly as I did.

I only use RYL.
=]

I don't think I could put it better.

I use one other site apart from this one, but i always feel more 'at home' here.

I guess its cos i know whats accepted there, and i know whats accepted here. Someone could post a really graphic picture there, and i wouldnt bat an eyelid, where as if someone did it here, id be like 'wtf'

its like, when you go to another country, you dont get all horrified and shocked because they smoke in pubs even though its illegal here, you kind of expect it. wow, that was a bad comparison.

Mmm when I'm 'worse' ED-wise I go on a whole herd of pro-ed sites, although I do partly for thinspo pictures a lot of it is that (probally a bit weirdly) I have a bit of an obsession with other people with EDs and their EDs, and discussing - not even tips but just like, life, having an ed, all the horrible bits, and really just making light of having an ED as well. Yeah alright it's not a good thing but I find it makes it easier for me to cope with it.

In past times I've done a similar thing with self harm, and pro-SH sites. I generally don't atm because I don't really self harm all that much and when I do it's nothing like...weird, haha... but yeah sometimes I do the same with self harm

But I don't really post in support and stuff around here, I just read stuff here out of bordom I guess.

i use this site and another one

because i found the other one first, then came here.
they both have really different atmospheres, the other one being much smaller, i feel less vulnerable, but i prefer the advice and speed of help i get on this site.

Well. At the moment I only use RYL and then it's only because it's weirdly addictive. But, when I was still self-harming, especially during really bad patches where I was really self destructive, I used a couple of other sites, including a (sort of) pro one. Mainly because I wanted to be more open than I could here and (yes, I'll say it), I'm horribly competitive and I wanted to know that I was capable of hurting myself as badly as the pictures people put up. Which was pretty messed up and a really bad idea, really. But I always stuck around RYL because it was safe and I knew people here and I could always get support.

i was on one site before here, which was very similarly run, with same ish rules regarding pro sh stuff but i found it very clickey and i know on here some of us have made good friends with each other and yes if i see one of my friends post i will reply even if just to tell them im thinking of them...but that doesnt mean i dont reply to others. i reply to ones that i think i can comment on or offer some support etc

ANYWAY.....i have tried to look for pro sh sites but failed miserably, i cant be searching for the right things! but i do this when i really bad sh moods to yeh i guess trigger myself or at least give me some ideas of how i can make the sh worse....but at the end of the day pro-sh sites arent gonna help me. cos they are encouraging sh rather than try ing to get through the sh xxxx

Apologies for quoting myself but..

I actually came across a pro SI site last night and I have to admit, some of the stuff on there REALLY scared me and freaked me out. It was not a nice place. I will not be going back.

As for RYL being cliquey, I have noticed at times that it can get very cliquey around here and it does put me off some threads (usually on General Forums) when I have no idea what people are going on about. However, every forum I have ever been on is like this, so it isn't going to stop me posting and feeling like a part of the community here.

im only a member here self harm wisealthough sometimes i go through phases of going to pro sites to look at pcitures and stuff.
i go to pro ed sites just because i dont feel comfortable in the ed board or talking about eds here.

i only use this

i only use this site, love the community here, the people have got me through some tough times, and i will always be greatful for that.

but.
i have tried to look for pro sites. not very successfully unfortunatly. and while i know that it prolly wouldn't do me much good to find one, i still want to. i don't fully understand my reasons for wanting to, but there we are.

I only use ryl although i did use another forum but i kept being attacked on there. It was also far too strict. It was on that website that i found about ryl. I like it here, in the past i went through some very difficult times and quite a few of you have been incredibly supportive and il never forget that. I think your all brilliant :)

I look for those sites on da net but never found one tho