The Scariest Old Lady Ever *UPDATED WITH BONUS CHAPTER*
 

Ok, so technically this should be in the CC, however, I want to share this with you all as sort of an ongoing, humorous, uplifting thing.

This is the story of one of the scariest old ladies ever to exsit, how Aidey and friends became her neighbour, and the ongoing saga of the craziness that ensued.


Part 1

So, in April of 2006 Aidey and her roommate Serena moved into out new apartment. It was this HUGE flat in a building that had 4 other flats. We were on the main floor and there were 2 flats under us, and 2 above.

On the very first night I'm moving in to my bedroom, and hanging up clothes in my closet with music playing quietly when suddenly....

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.

I jump and look around in fright, as I am the only one in the flat. I turn off the music and wander out into the living room.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.

I jump again, and realize the noise is coming from the side door of my apartment. I open it tentatively, as there is no peep hole, and the flat, while gorgeous, isn't in the best part of town.

Standing there is an elderly woman, who appeared quite non threatening (little did I know how wrong I was).

I inquire if I could help her, and she, in a voice reminiscent of a badly tuned violin, informs me that my "banging around" is too loud for her. She lectures me about respect, and how the last people that lived there were horrid and she had such high hopes we would be better than them. I apologize profusely, and ask her to show me whereabouts her bedroom is so I can avoid hanging clothes loudly over it. She looks around and indicates the corner of the apartment EXACTLY opposite the building from my closet. Probably close to 15 meters apart, at least.

I refrain from pointing this out, send her to bed, and assume this is the last of my problems, again, little did I know just how wrong I was.....

In the following days I recount the story to my roommate Serena, and, lacking a name, we dub the woman the scary old lady, a moniker that has stuck until this day. We decide that it was probably just her being ornery and we won't have to worry about her again. Again.......very very wrong (anyone sensing a theme here....lol)

Anyway, I lived there for another month before going away to school, and in that time she made her presence once more to complain about the noise while we were watching TV one evening.

Lol ahhh those kind of neighbours are always fun to come by :P

I haven't got any 'scary old neighbour' anecdotes to share, except for the time a few weeks after I moved in a couple of my neighbours (I too live in a complex of four apartments) came round on account of me being, "Abnormally quiet, for a young single man." :P

HAHA, gotta love old people. I specifically asked for senior discount day off at my work because of people like that.

Part 2

In the beginning of May 2006 I left Serena home alone to complete some schooling in another state. This is when things really started to get crazy. A couple of weeks after I left Serena was at home at about midnight with 2 friends chatting about life in the kitchen, which was over the other downstairs apartment, and not the scary old lady's apartment, when she hears....

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Serena, who is not a fan of confrontation, decides to not answer the door and her and her friends duck out of sight in the kitchen. She hears the outside door open and 30 seconds later sees the scary old lady peeking through dining room window!! Then she starts yelling at my roommate through the window, telling her that she knows she is in there and they better answer the door!

Needless to say my roommate did not answer the door, and the scary old lady eventually left.

While I was away there were several more lovely incidents. A friend of ours, David, had to move out of his place suddenly and stayed at my apartment with Serena. One night while he was ASLEEP the scary old lady came up stairs, knocked on the door, woke up him and told him he was being too loud. He was not happy, and he is a lot less tolerant of annoying people than Serena, and when he answered the door the SOL began screeching at him without him even saying a word. He rapidly tired and this, said "good night" and shut the door in her face. She responded to this by raising her voice, demanding he open the door, telling him she knew he was in there (well duh) and banging on the door some more.

*giggles* scary old ladies rock! lmao she's prolly making her own noise and then forgetting it was her so blaming it on you! Just call the cops and say you're being harrased! :P

*awaits part 3* lol

Is this going to be one of those bizare tales where scary old lady really turns out to be Aidey in disguise?

Part 3

I come home at the end of July 2006 and David finds his own place. Thus far, the SOL has come up stairs about 8 times. After I return home her presence at our door increases to at least once a week. Her appearance has morphed from that of an eccentric old bat to that of the bride of Chucky when she is 80.

Seriously. This woman is about 5 feet tall, would come up stairs in a dressing gown, her hair a disaster, sticking up in all places, and she sleeps in her make up, and she wears the really heavy old person make up. So she would have HUGE mascara rings around her eyes mixed with blue eyeshadow, Erin red lip stick smeared on her chin, and pink pink blush on her cheeks.

Hell, why am I telling you this, here is a picture. This is how she really looks, the only thing I did to the picture was blur out the background and crop a few people out of the sides.




So yeah. THAT is what we had at our door every night. Bride of chucky in 60 years. Seriously.

So, anyway, back to the point. In the next several weeks we are dealing with this woman at least once a week, sometimes more. We did often have friends over, usually David, Mandy and Mandy's boyfriend. Generally we would have pizza, a few beers and watch a movie. We were all obcessive about being quiet, and we never got any complaints from any other people who lived in the building, including the other downstairs neighbours.

We all HATED answering the door and would often fight about who had to deal with her when she knocked. After the 2nd or 3rd time we decided to be devious, and enacted a rule that no one could answer the door twice in a row. That way each time she came up stairs there would be a different person at the door, while anyone else in the apartment hid. We managed to keep this up for a while, and eventually every one of our friends had answer the door and we made it to about 8 visits before we repeated a person.

Oh man did it drive her crazy! She would holler and ask "what kind of business are you running here" demand to know what was going on, and in an interesting turn, she began to lecture us about the young children and dogs we had running around our apartment and were barking.

"Strange" you say "I never knew Aidey had children or a dog" well, THATS BECAUSE I DON'T!!! We had a cat! One small 8 pound CAT!

No matter how much we explain this to her, and even at one point show her the cat, she continued to insist we had small children and a dog.

Eventually our landlord gave us a call to let us know she had been complaining. We explained that she was convinced we had dogs and children, and we had neither, and he was really good about the whole thing, and explained that the previous tenants had problems with her too, but he couldn't evict her for various reasons.

Ekkk... with all that eye shadow and all those wrinkles, she does look pretty scary to me *cowards behind someone* lol

haha! oooooh dear

:O oh you poor thing! *hides from SOL*

she's one of the old people that should be put down to further humanity... :D

*giggles* I second that notion!!!

You guys have no idea...it gets even crazier....

it gets worse??

Oh yes, much, much worse. So far this is only like the first 1/2 of the story.

when do we get to hear more?
*not sure she wants to hear more but waits anyway*

moreeee :P

well come on then!!!! tell!

Jebus people, I was going to stretch this out for maximum entertainment value.

too bad! :P

i suggest you get a dog and then see what happens.

We don't live there anymore, lol.

shame

Ok you demanding lot

Part 4

During the events of the previous installment we spoke with our upstairs neighbour Mary who had lived in the building for over 10 years and had known the SOL for a long time. She told us a little about her, including her name, which we hadn't known until then (Miss Pearl). She apparently was from the South US and had moved there many years ago with her husband, who had died in the 80s (my guess is suicide after living with her for so long). She was an old fashioned southern belle who had very traditional ideas. Mary thought that she might be offended by the fact we were two unmarried women living outside of our parents home, and that Serena had a pixie style hair cut and my tongue was pierced.

She also told us that Miss Pearl had issues with all of the previous tenants, and that the only tenant who she had ever liked was the last one and that was only after his wife and kids moved out. He began helping her out by taking her trash out. She was unable to lift it into the dumpster, so she would leave it in front of our door. Since we never used the door we ignored it and let the other downstairs neighbour take care of it.

According to Mary the SOL had lived there for something like the last 30 years, and apparently she was evicted TWICE by a previous landlord and both times she just refused to leave and the landlord couldn't bring himself to call the police on her.

After this discussion Serena made an effort to be nice to her, and began taking out her trash for her, and even helped her carry in her groceries a few times.

In September of 2006 I was spending the night at boythings when at about 2 am my mobile beeps and tells me I have a voicemail message. Boythings place had horrid reception, so I check my voicemail, and it's from Serena.

She starts of the message with this "Umm...so....yeah, I don't want you to worry, but the scary old lady called the police. We're going to bed, but yeah, I'll explain tomorrow"

As you can imagine I didn't wait until the next day to call her. She was tired and grouchy, and said that no one got in trouble, and that she didn't want to talk about it.

So the next day I go home and get the full story.

Apparently Serena and her boyfriend had been watching a movie together when the SOL came upstairs and started yelling at Serena. She was in a bad mood, and no prepared to deal with her, so instead of being nice and placating the SOL, she started yelling back, and while not rude she was very firm and told her that we were sick of her coming up to bother us, that we wern't making any noise, we didn't have a dog, or children and that she needed to go away, and then Serena promptly slammed the door in her face.

20 minutes later the police showed up.

They were not interested in Serena's story at all, and told her if they were called again we would recieve a citation for making too much noise. We called the landlord in the morning and spoke with him and he told us that if we had any problems with her again to call the police, and to stop answering the door.

Instead I called Adult Protective Services.

APS is the program where I live that deals with vulnerable adults who are being abused, neglected etc and may not be able to care for themselves.

I spoke with a caseworker and explained I was a paramedic and I had a delusional neighbour who lived alone and was hearing things at night and I was very concerned that she may be developing dementia and couldn't care for herself any more and as far as I had seen no one was assisting her.

He thanked me for calling, said I was a wonderful neighbour for caring about her so much and wanting to make sure she was ok. He assured me that they would investigate promptly and make sure she was ok.

I may have had a bit of a hard time keeping myself from dying laughing on the phone when he said that.

After telling Serena and David and everyone else about that we agreed that I won the Evil Genius award of the century for that move.

LMAO! That's freaking awesome!!!!!! lmao, come on! I don't want to wait now! If i have to wait to find out what happens next I may just kill you >.<

Nope :D

You're going to have to wait until tomorrow just like everyone else :P

"who had died in the 80s (my guess is suicide after living with her for so long)"

*snort*

*gasp* aiiiiiiidey........ *whines* can you pm it to me? I wont tell anyone... really!!! *makes puppy dog eyes*

No Jess, and it gets even better from here too.

*evil laugh*

^mean!
i wants moreeee =(

*has a tear* you're so mean *cries piteously*

BAHAHAHAHAHA

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I've been spending too much time talking to Erin, she is turning me evil.

she would have told me. she loves me *sulks*

hahahahahaaaaaa that's awesome.
*sits and waits for more*

This is great, Im on the edge of my seat, More more.

Perhaps while playing with her blow up dog toy she has been barking too. I hear that role play stuff is all the rage these days :-p

Oh and i love that it was "erin red lipstick"

i love this story, certainly makes work more interesting

HEY! That's not a crazy old lady - that's my gran!!






Nah not really :tongue2:

keep it coming!

we want more

It's tomorrow! I want the rest of the story!!!!

MOREEEEEEEEEE

more please?

Jebus Christ people!

Ok Part 5 you demanding, whiny bunch. :P

Ok, so now that we've called APS mysteriously she leaves us alone for a couple of weeks...

>.>

<.<

*ahem*

Anyway, by now it is December? or so. With the summer over David goes back to school full time, and Mandy starts a job where she has to be up really early, so we don't have people over as often, and yet, the scary old lady is still making her presence known once to twice a week. By now we figure she has come up stairs nearly 30 times. During the warm months if we didn't answer the door she would peek through our windows at us.

For a while we ignore her as our landlord suggested, until one incident. I had been away, and had just flown in that evening, and was exhausted so I went to sleep around 10pm. Serena, her boyfriend, Mandy and her boyfriend and David were all at the apartment watching movies and drinking. At this time myself, Serena, and the boyfriends are all under 21 the legal drinking age, leaving Mandy and David as the only two who can legally drink. Although neither Mandy or her BF were drinking that night.

Now, I'm a light sleeper because of being a Paramedic, I have to be able to get up quickly which has made me wake up easily. At about midnight I am roused from a sound sleep to, guess what...

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

I jump out of bed and stick my head out of my bedroom door to see Serena, Mandy and Mandy's boyfriend running into Serena's bedroom. Serena's boyfriend and David are hiding in the kitchen.

I stick my head in Serena's room to ask who is going to answer the door, to hear Mandy chanting "oh my god I'm going to jail, oh my god i'm going to jail, oh my god i'm going to jail" since she had been the one to bring the alcohol.

I roll my eyes and tell her no one is going to jail when again

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

I storm to the door whip it open and give the SOL a piece of my mind. I explain that I was SOUND ASLEEP and her KNOCKING woke ME up, and that I didn't want to hear any crap about children or dogs because there were none and that if she didn't leave immediately I was going to call the police for harassment for waking me up. Then I shut the door in her face, and for once, she didn't yell through it.

At this point I send everyone home or to bed, and I started cleaning up the apartment so I could calm down before going back to bed, and then about 15 minutes later I see a police car!!! I dash into the back of the apartment and get Serena, and throw on my official fire department sweatshirt. (Not that I was going for a little professional favoritism or anything... >.>)

Serena, being underage and having been drinking decides to stay in her room and hide. I watch as ANOTHER police car pulls up, and 2 officers get out, now meaning there are 4 officers out there! I'm freaking out thinking "OMG, she's told them I assaulted her or something and i'm going to jail!"

2 of the police go around the side of the house to where you enter to get to her flat, and I hear knocking on the outside front door. (There is an entry way before the door to my flat). So I take a deep breath and go out to anwser the door.

I open it and nearly faint, one of the two officers standing there is Davids step-mother!!! I had known she was a police officer in my town, and had met her breifly in passing in the course of working as a Paramedic, and I highly doubted she remembered me (she didn't).

Anyway, now I'm thinking, ok.....David was here, he can tell her what happened.....maybe I won't get arrested....

Then the other officer asks me if my name is Laura.

*blinks*

Thats not my name. Thats not the Scary old ladys name.

I"M SAFE!!!!

They come to explain that someone named Laura had called 911 to report a suspicous male with a gun(!!!!!) at our address sooping around outside. I explain that there is no one named Laura in the building, but that the next door neighbours name is Linda, and they tell me to lock my doors, draw the curtains, and call 911 if we see anything suspicious.

I nearly died after shutting the door. I had thought I was toast and getting arrested.

Stay tuned for part 6! :D

ARGH! You're irritating! Can't you just give us part 6 now!!!! pleeeeeease

ooooooh dramatic! more more!

ha favrotism :-p