help please *urgent*
 

suicidal, dont know what to do :crying:
please someone help :sad:

hun why are you having suicidal thoughts?

its been here ages the thoughts I can see myself, and its scaring me cos its pushing me further to do it. I hardly got any mates and now I dont want those that i do have see me, I dont want to leave the house, I got scared to even go downstairs earlier in case my parents came home cos i dont want to face people. They all want me dead I know they do they just wont admit it.

I have to wait til half five before my mate can come around to mine shes at work.

well more my dad he hasnt spoken to me properly in over four years now, i saw him yesterday which hurt cos he totally blanked me.
I keep seeing myself lying there dead, i keep thinking of ways, when i could do it, how long i would have. its like im planning my death in my head constantly.
I cant even leave the house anymore, im scared, i dont want people to see me, i been offered to go out but i cant cos i havent got any energy to fight to make myself go out. Im a mess, I cant do it.

How're you doing now your friend is there?

I hear how you feel disregarded and discarded by your father. This hurts more than anything that you can bear. It may be that you choose to want to end your life rather than feel so rejected. You reject yourself to make the pain easier to bear.

The shame at being so disregarded seems to have made you acutely sensitive to being seen by others.

These are big deep painful issues, and you could really benefit from some good professional support, a safe space to explore what's happening to you, and safe ways through it so you can connect with yourself and others again.

my friend couldnt come around just yet I dont know when she'll be here her parents asked her to go home before she did anything. I wish I had a mate that I could talk to but the few people I trust arent around at the minute I dont know what to do anymore, I feel so lost and isolated i keep panicking I dont know what to do

Do you have a sense of what it is that triggers the panic?

The only thing I can think of is when I start feeling like there is nooone and no point and i cant see a way out. All I have done for the past few hours is sit in tears I dont know how much more I can take of this Im not strong enough to fight this battle. I might just give up I cant take it anymore

It sounds like you're feeling really really alone. I understand how much that can ache and how frightening it can feel.
Try to hold onto the fact that it won't be like this forever.
And we're here for you. Then there's your friend.

My mate didnt turn up and shes not answering her phone
i cant talk anymore
ive worn out the words so much i cant find them
i just feel like shit
i want it to end

I cant do it i got noone. My best mate has either gone offline and not said anythin or hes ignoring me which to be honest wouldnt be the first time but when he knows how much i need a mate doesnt help

You do have someone, you've got me and Lana and lots of people, we love you please please please keep going love. You can do it, I know you can.

How are things this morning?

Chloe? how are you darling! I'm so sorry i wasn't around I love you..

Scared still, I had planned for it to be today, everyones out, and i know they wont be back for ages :crying:

i've got it all set out in my head, the times, what ill do, everything appart from the fact im scared that it wont work and ill have to face my family after. I cant ring anyone either everyones at work. my family are two hours away and i wouldnt tell them this anyway. ive totally broken down.

ruok hun?

You can make yourself an emergency appointment with your doctor, or get down to a and e and ask to talk with the duty psychiatrist.
You could also phone The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90

In just went into town but came straight back home I cudnt stand it there. Im scared if i tell someone theyll tell my mum

What scares you about your mum discovering how much you need help right now?

she wont believe it/me i told her about the depression before and she just ignored it all.
I just rang my mate shes coming round and were gonna talk so hopefully shell keep me safe enough so i last til about half 5 when my other mate gets home from work.

We believe you here.

mates just gone home, I also rang my mate whos at work on his break and hes gonna come straight online when he gets in just to keep me safer, I just hope it works I'm so scared ill do something, I feel sick cos ive eaten too much today and scared ill be ill from that. god i sound so fucking pathetic when people here have so many more problems than me. sorry im taking up too much room now :crying:

I dont wany yo be alive anymore, I tried to talk to my mate when he got in and he hasnt responded to it :(

*squishes Chloe*

Hun you are 18, so no one will tell your mom... they are not allowed to..

Please go to A+E and ask to talk to someone... i really don't want you to hurt yourself...

They will want to help you...

Poke me on msn if you need me...

I cant mum will wonder where I am and stuff I cant go anywhere I dont know what to do Im scared and want to end it all totally,

Can you not tell her you are going to see friends?

why not email the samaritans (jo@samaritans.org) -it could give you a focus, that can help sometimes..just to get it all out...

or you could call a freephone number like childline -it's not just for children, it's for "young people" too what's the worse that could happen?They'd listen..and if they felt there was another place that could help you better they'd give you contact details for it and you could try them...

Also, this is worth a look...
http://www.maytree.org.uk/index.php?...16&Itemi d=33

No cos my mates would come and pick me up and she knows that if we go out we drink so shed know i was lying

Thank you I might try texting the samaritans they have helped before I just forgot they were there to be honest thank you

no problem.I'm about to email them myself.

Chin up.

We are not alone.

:-)

Texting samaritans is a good idea... i did that the other day and it was really helpful...

Have you got any friends who could come and pick you up and take you to get some help?

Not at the minute, the only two I would trust are bother with their boyfriends and its not fair to ask them to travel for me

didn't know they did texts!!

Not mailing anymore, going to text lare if i can't keep calm.

THANK YOU!!

:-)

i text but i dunno what to do I need my best mate but hes not replying to me i cant do this he knows i need him

There's any number of reasons your best friend isn't replying eh, hang in there. {hug}
Just keep posting until your best friend replies.
You know you are not alone.

Catherine xxxx

but hes done this before then not got in touch all night and all the next day unless i make him reply and i wont this time i cant do it :(

stay strong.
we are here.

there is noone my best mate wants me dead hes switched his phone off and obviously cudnt give a fuck just like me now i cant stand this

have u text the samaritans?
can you call them?
or a freephone number if that's an issue?

I have text but I don't think they can help me, or anyone can. I feel sick from all of this i just spoke to my best mate who told me to "stop it"

god im so pathetic, Im desperate for anyone to stop me, ill do anything to get that help but i wont actually go out and get help for myself, god i hate me just like everyone else does, my dad my ex my best mate i shudnt be alive

you should.

don't give up, be strong, take strength from here to know that you are not alone and you are not unloved.....we are here.....

Im being as strong as i possibly can, at least i havent done anything today i dont want to i just want it to stop

well my mate text me saying he wasnt ignoring me he just couldnt cope with me last night, which i dont understand why he didnt just tell me he knows ill back off if he says that. also if he wasnt ignoring me what the fuck was he doing cos he didnt respond to me on msn, facebook text or phonecall. IGNORING ME

what you see as ignoring may have been your best friends way of coping. If they couldn't talk to you they couldn't deal with you at that time perhaps. try not to take it all so personally, there's only so much people can deal with at one time and everybodies different.

I know but he should have just said hes not ok himself and cant cope with everything at the minute he KNOWS I wouldnt put it on him if I knew he wasnt ok I give up with everything :crying:

sometimes it is hard for people to say that they arent able to cope with how youa are feeling.
i know it feels like he has abandonned you but the truth is tright there...he couldnt face it.

think about the positives sweetie. its so much easier to remember the bad things in life...you deserve to be so much more happier.

how areyou feeling now? i hope thingsare settling down...if not then plz tlk to someone who you trust .

I'm sat here crying now cos he's still ignoring me, I wanna cut really bad I cant stand this. I havent got anyone else who i trusyt hes the only person i do trust and hes left me like everyone else

perhaps you should try to learn a new coping mechanism. now would be a good time to start.

count to 5 as you breathe in and the breathe out slowly.

punch a pillow. do anything that will releave what your feeling rather that cut yourself or hurt yourself.

i know how it feels to be ignored but the simple truth is...people cant always be there for you. its hard on them.
im sorry if i seem harsh..i just know that you are able to do this and it annoys me to have you put yourself down and have very little faith in yourself

I dont want him to be there for me if hes not ok himself i just need him to be honest rather than ignore me
He's pushed me too far now im sorry