Suicidal - updated
 

I'm really suicidal and I don't know what to do..
I told EDS who just said to contact a crisis team but I know they can't do much

I just really want to die now

Wow I'm sorry this thread was left so long.

How are you now? Did you contact the crisis team?

It's okay.
I'm not great but I have someone with me who knows so I can keep safe for now.
I haven't called them as I'm okay right now
I've gotta make it til Monday - that's my next EDS appt xx

hello, im sorry your struggling im here if you want to talk, take care lotty

It doesn't matter.
I'm not important

Yes you are important !

NO i'm not

You are important!- you can get through this. Keep fighting.

I think you're important Kate. Maybe the crisis team is worth a shot while you're feeling this way?

I'm seeing EDS tomorrow.. They know about my thoughts and urges :crying: I'm scared

Hugs don't be scared! Let them help you x

Well our car broke down so I've missed my appt when I feel suicidal ugh fml

took some pills..not enough

Kate, you need to go get checked out Hun. It doesn't matter that you say you said you haven't taken enough but you have taken some which means it could be affecting your insides. How are you feeling? Do you have anyone to take you to the hospital?

It's okay. I stopped before I overdosed - still within the recommended dosage and maximum.

If you didn't need to take the pills (as in a medical requirement) any is over the recommended dose.

How are you feeling now? Are you at risk of doing anything else to yourself? Do you have anyone with you?

I'm okay now, I'm seeing a friend tonight

I am glad.

Doing badly again.

Is there anyone you can call on to help keep you distracted?
What has helped in the past?

I nearly got put in a psych ward yesterday..I had to see the crisis team as an emergency but I've decided I will be safe. I'm stopping drinking which is mostly the cause of my impulsiveness..

I'm so fat and it's crushing me...
Sorry

Do you think that maybe going IP would be helpful for you right now? What is the current plan for your treatment? You sound very unwell right now.

did you call the crisis team? can you go to a+e and seek assistance from them

Can you phone them up and ask for appoint sooner x

kate, im really worried about your safety at the moment. is there any way you can call someone, anyone if youre still not feeling well?

What about going IP at the psych ward, just to tide you over? They must have some facilities for dealing with eating disorders, even if they aren't as good as a EDU.

How are you doing today?

Suisiding is not a way of overcoming with your problems. If you have any problem you need to face it. Even though the result is a positive or negative. And remember problems are not permanent. They are coming and going from our lives.

((((Katie)))) sounds like your EDU team and therapist care about you and believe that with the right support you still have a chance to get better. You are not fake or fraudulent- by getting help now, you might be able to stop the symptoms getting worse and find a better place to be mentally and physically. I hope everything goes ok. Thinking of you

Hey Kate, I think it's really positive you can see them sooner.
Remember it's a mental illness and I don't think anything you're feeling is fake. Try not to focus on that maybe.

You've struggled for a long time with this. I can't remember when we first met online but it definitely was years ago and to me it seems that things haven't moved on that much (I hope you don't mind me saying this & I say it with the best of intentions). I hope this is an opportunity for you for things to change. It sounds like you could get good support from this place?

I'm glad your appointment is sooner because the sooner the better really!
x

Thank you both of you..
I'm just not sure if I truly want it or not but I know I can't go on like this..
I'm out atm and sat down because I'm really dizzy and feel like so weak

If it helps, I don't think people are ever 100% committed or decided on recovery at the start. I know I wasn't when I went in. It's not like a lightbulb moment or anything. I know I was waiting for one of those and there wasn't one. It was more a gradual thing. So I don't think you have to be truly sure you want it (in fact I think that might be impossible). Just give the help they offer you your best shot.

^ agreed.

I'm pleased they are taking things seriously and bumping up your appointment. Is there anything realistic you can do to stablise your physical health a bit? Are you drinking enough?

Hi there. I noticed from your RV you're struggling a lot. How are you doing today Kate?

Thanks all of you a lot..
No I want to die. I can't cope being this fat anymore.
I don't want to eat but I'm going to be made to and I'm horrible and want to destroy myself and I don't want to live

I think you mentioned a while back about the possibility of IP - what's happening with that?

What's making you want to destory yourself Kate?

I'm glad they have brought forwards your appointment, it sounds like it will be a big meeting to discuss how they can help you in various ways. What would you like to convey to them?

I know when I have had a big meeting in the past, not that it lasted more than 20 mins, it was an opportunity to write something down that all the members of the team could read to help them understand what I wanted from the treatment; what my aims were, thus what they needed to do etc.

I don't know what an occupational therapist does within an ED team since our ED team was so small it never had one. I would assume they would help you with the functional skills of life with an ED, maybe learning how to go shopping in a supermarket and choose food for the purposes of healthy eating? Just an idea; if they did offer that I would assume it could be pretty useful

I want to die

What's going on Kate?

How are you feeling today sweetie

Not good at the moment.
My ed has gotten bad again . I'm not really purging but I'm restricting a fair bit :( I hate life right now...
I have the psych tomorrow and an appt at the edu on thurs