Would you be prepared to drop all your RYL friends to be better?

[Margo]

You wake up one morning and there is a fairy sat on your chest.
She says you can be completely free of all scars, illness and damage you have done to yourself, but that RYL will no longer exist for you and neither will a single person that you have met, talked to, made friends with or loved etc etc.

Effectively you can choose to keep your RYL friends and stay scared/ill or whatever, or be free of illness and scars but never see or hear from RYL or the people again.

What would you chose?

[Stellata]

I'm inclined to sit on the fence and say that life doesn't have to be so black and white.
But I hear and understand what you're saying.

Wouldn't it be like... starting life out all over again, with nothing? And trying to get things right this time round?

Also.... I'm all for... balance. Living with my emotional wounds and faint physical scars, and still living life as best I can in the 'outside world'.

[Queen Crabbit]

Would you forget about the RYL people, or would you remember them? I.e. is it as if this has never happened, or you just stop talking.

I honestly don't know, because some people on RYL are like my family, or my life, or my love. Living without them in my life would be more unbearable than any of this.

[Caru y Nos]

The problems i have and face originate from others. Although it takes alot for me to get myself to believe this, abuse and bullying of my past and present are not my fault; it's that of others. Even though my mind will probably change again at some point about that :/

RYL has helped me come to terms with some of my emotions and helped me improve my social skills (which still appear to be lacking; things come across wrong, i never quite understand, etc). If anything, been here has taught me to let people get close to me. Even if i do panic and push them away occasionally.

But no, as my problems are because of others then i wouldn't give up RYL for the world and hope to stay for quite a while. No matter how much people are likely to get depressed hearing me say that (:

[Margo]

Yes Katie/ CHelsea, you would effectively be starting over again. You still have family and RL friends but you are totally free of illness. Your anxieties etc are gone. No more ocd, Sh, bi-polar etc etc. The RYL people would be in your memory but you cant ever see or speak to them again. No site access or anything.

[Caru y Nos]

^
AKA Hell!

*loves my RYL family and friends :-D*

[Queen Crabbit]

No way.
It would mean not being friends with you little Maffew and I couldn't have that now could I?
Who else would tell me off for being a stroppy cow?

[Margo]

Thing is tho that being 100% well would mean you wouldnt have those insecurities and could funtion in the RL.

Hard choice isnt it.

[Porcelain Child]

Noooo i can't live without my close friends on here... cos like Chelsea said they are my family, friends and my life...

[griddlebone]

ummm...id choose the being well option.

[Le Almighty Kitten]

Despite being recovered etc, no i wouldn't give it all up (or the scars indeed), i met my husband here (among other people) and they're not worth giving up.

[Coppelia]

No, I wouldn't choose being better. I like it here and I'd rather have the ups and downs over never speaking to you guys again.

[Casper_Fading]

i wouldn't choose being well. becasue going through this illness has made me who i am today and has given me a level of understanding for young epople going through the same thing. strangely enough, my scars are sometimes the only reason young people will tell me anything. they know i've been through some **** and they can see the proof.

if i wasn't working with those young people though... i would choose the being well option. as mch as it would break my heart to lose my friends here, i would be able to live again to the full power of what i could do.

but as it is, i'll just have to get threre myself *nods*

[Sans Peur]

if it meant losing fox and those in real life that i care so much about no. It is tempting for me to leave ryl sometimes as i am recovered in a way as i am holding on to the past and would give up RYL to be fully recovered but as ireneh said i would end up being extremely lonely.This site has become the huge part of my life for the last 5 years.

[effervescence]

right now, following the day i had yesterday, sadly i would choose the being well, because as mch as it would break my heart to lose my friends here, i would be able to live again to the full power of what i could do.

but as it is, i'll just have to get threre myself *nods*

[Bitter_Angel]

I would say that if Matthew has a fairy sitting on his chest he should share the pills he is taking as im sure there not his regular ones ;-)

Seriously though, itis a difficult one. I would probably say that i wouldn't give it up as there is always chance of a relapse, plus the past would always still be there which is my main struggle. However if it was really to happen, then I am not so sure i would be strong enough to stick with my descion.

I hope this question is just a question an not some way of covering something bigger up lil pengy.

[Aidee]

I would say that if Matthew has a fairy sitting on his chest he's had one hell of a night at a gay bar.

In your hypothetical situation, would the fairy make it so that you were never sick in the first place?

[Pictsie]

I'd never want to give up friends completely, having it all magicked away would be tempting but I wouldn't trust it to not take away the part of who I am that my rl friends are attracted to

[Rain Keeper]

*sits with knees to chest and rocks in the corner *

Tough choice. I am a differnt person when I am not here. I have been away for weeks at a time, but still thought of those here. I dont have much communication with anyone in real life but my husband and kids.

If i could go back to before the first time and start life over with out self injury. I would choose that. A life woith out mental issues. I would chose that. I would also choose hoping I would meet the people of RYL in other sites(maybe arty sites or diets sites or frog throwing sites) or even in RL There are so many wonderful peeps here. I would hope have an interaction/chance meeting other ways.

I know I am soooo confusing lately!

Rainy

[Stress Free Anxiety]

The people I've met through RYL have quickly become some of my closest friends. True, without SI and all that crap I may not need RYL, but I'm not one to abandon my friends for my own benefit like that. RYL has only brought me positive experiances, and there's not way I could leave that comfort. Not to mention, people would worry if I all of a sudden disappeared. If RYL had caused me problems in any way, then maybe my opinoin would be different, but this is part of my home now and I love you all too much.

In short, full recovery isn't worth losing such an amazing support system after all this time.

[Aidee]

If i could go back to before the first time and start life over with out self injury. I would choose that. A life woith out mental issues. I would chose that. I would also choose hoping I would meet the people of RYL in other sites(maybe arty sites or diets sites or frog throwing sites) or even in RL There are so many wonderful peeps here. I would hope have an interaction/chance meeting other ways.


You aren't confusing Rainy, this is pretty much how I feel also, I think. If I could go back in time and make it so that I never had any mental health issues at all I would do it, if the only thing I would loose is being on RYL. I have made some wonderful friends on RYL, but I went through a lot to end up here. I think I could give up RYL, but I'm not sure I could give up some of the other things I've done/people I've met.

It's a toughie.

[-Tough-Cookie-]

I'd never change what i'v been through
its hard **** to deal with
but its made me who i am
and i met some f'in awsome people on the road!

[akita]

That's a hard one Matthew, I can't decide.

[Mrs Sam]

i wouldnt change a lot of things in my life and RYL is one of them. Up until recently i was doing really well and i was getting myself better. Thats one sense of achievement i'd never had if i just magically got better. I like knowing i did that myself. I think depression can help shape you positively as well as negatively and i live with my OCD and dont hide it anymore. There are some things that i'd love to change but they have nothing to do with my illnesses or RYL so it wouldnt make a blind bit of difference.

[PropheticStar]

No. I have been ill for as long as I can remember and even though at times it has been rough as hell, and I have many scars to prove it, it has made me who I am. I might not always like who I am, but in moments of clarity I can see that I have overcome a lot, and proven myself stronger then I realised. Through the good times and the many bads I have shaped who I am as a person. If all the bad times, all the illness were taken away, I would be a different person. What if that person was a bad person? The kind of person that's nasty and kicks kittens or something?

Magic fairy. Thank you for your offer, but no thank you.

[Margo]

love the way that even in hypothetical fairy tale dream type questions people can still be so cynical and manage to turn it all bad. lol

I Would take the Well option. I know im intrinsically a good person. So i know if i wasnt ill i wouldnt be evil.¬.¬.

I know life outside of illness. I know that when i can be well, i can be really well.

Yes being ill has taught me and shaped me. Its made me wiser and more insightful.

Its also ruined my life. Its taken the last bit of energy i had and tried to destroy me. Its gotten me to a place where i havent a clue who the hell i am anymore.

Perhaps because i have known a life outside of illness. Perhaps because im older. Perhaps because i know inside that i dont belong here. who knows..............

[PropheticStar]

I like doing things to be proud of. One of those things will be getting completely better and not being ill any more. I have built my life from nothing. Made myself something from poverty, and for that I am proud. I am slowly getting well, and for the progress I have made thus far, I am proud. It's not easy, in fact it's ****ing hard, but it's commendable.

[[Purple_Rain]]

I'd say no. Because you can recover. and, even if the fairy magically made you better, it doesnt mean some time down the line you wouldnt get ill again, but maybe sllightly different. only, it would be worse cos you wouldnt have your freinds to help you. the same could happen if you recovered without the fairy, except if you did it without once you woudl know you could do it again. and also, my closest freinds are on RYL, i couldnt leave them. becuase the fairy might make me better, but not them; if i went, they'd have one less freind, and one less reason not to do anythgn stupid (i dont mean that to sound big headed). Also the fairy woudlnt cure the fact i have very few freinds in real life, so i'd be a complete loner and wouldnt be happy.

[Merc]

Fairies who magic away illnesses do not exist, so I cannot give an answer.

If I was in a position where I felt that RYL was holding me back, or that certain relationships were toxic then yes, of course I would ditch them, just as I hope I would be ditched were I to become toxic to anybody.

Have thought about leaving RYL in the past, but realised that doing so would leave me a VERY lonely person, which would have a negative impact on my health.


^^^what she said...
*nods*
romp

[Merc]

No. I have been ill for as long as I can remember and even though at times it has been rough as hell, and I have many scars to prove it, it has made me who I am. I might not always like who I am, but in moments of clarity I can see that I have overcome a lot, and proven myself stronger then I realised. Through the good times and the many bads I have shaped who I am as a person. If all the bad times, all the illness were taken away, I would be a different person. What if that person was a bad person? The kind of person that's nasty and kicks kittens or something?

Magic fairy. Thank you for your offer, but no thank you.

sorry to keep quoting, but it is exactly what i would say, want to say, but have not the words yet.....

romp

[All I'm Living For]

i wouldn't drop my RYL friends for anything. they are the greatest friends i have ever had and i wouldnt give them up for anything, not even being better. going through what i have has taught me a lot about myself and others. i wouldnt take it back for anything.
so no i wouldnt take being better if it meant losing how much i've gained from being here.

Soph.

[Aidee]

One of the reasons I picked the well option is because from what I understand what I have isn't something I'm ever going to recover from. Right now my diagnosis is vague, but if it does turn out to be some form of schizophrenia I'm going to be on meds for the rest of my life, and as much as I love my friends off RYL, I couldn't turn down never having to be on meds.

[Stellata]

For me, my life and experiences with my life and illness have made me who I am today. Sure, there's the down side, but I wouldn't be able to help people if I'd not been what I've been through, or going through the recovery journey I'm on. My life would be pretty empty without that... I feel I'd be without my heart, my insight, my awarenesses. I don't know what I'd do.

[shadowedseraph]

I honestly dont know which id pick being completley well is such a temptation but i wouldnt want to loose RYL giving support here and reading others stories is sometimes all that keeps my head above water

[Slip]

I would say that if Matthew has a fairy sitting on his chest he should share the pills he is taking as im sure there not his regular ones ;-)

LMAO!!

I'm on the fench - on one hand if I could not have been this way then I would take that in a heart beat... but on the other hand...I just actually don't know...

xxx

[Margo]

Deb i wish you would stop sitting on that Fench!

Erm whats a fench?

Is it like a bench with a fence attached? :P

[Schleier von Dunst]

Even when I've recovered, I'll never leave RYL behind. As other people have mentioned, by closest friends came to me here, including my girlfriend, and without them, I'd be lost. Plus, if we still remembered them, I care too much I would want to know they are OK. If I had to choose, I'd rather live with SI and anything else which is thrown at me than lose contact with such wonderful, caring, understanding people.

[Heidi Tiger]

I've actually got better since being on RYL. I no longer have an eating disorder and whilst self harm is still a regular occurence, I've done more for my recovery whilst I have used RYL regularly than before. I have also met my partner here. Whilst we both self harm, there is no way we are detrimental to each others mental well-being. In fact Luke has supported me through some really tough times, he's gone to hospital appointments with me, met the crisis team etc etc. I've met some wonderful people on here and for me personally I know I don't have to make that decision as I don't find being friends with other's with issues makes my own issues any worse.

[Rain Keeper]

Perhaps because i have known a life outside of illness. Perhaps because im older. Perhaps because i know inside that i dont belong here. who knows..............



You belong right HERE!

eamiling you when I get home so I dont get in trouble here at work!

RAINY

[UbermoronicismAgain]

In short, no.

I like to think I am pretty much recovered. I still have urges and the occasional triggered moment where I think 'f*ck it', but I haven't harmed myself for so long I don't actually remember the last time I did.
I am still anxious with new people, but I'm working for the first time since I was 16, everyday every week and really getting a kick out of it. (And the money!)
I still can't stop myself from avoiding the phone if I can, and jumping when it rings at work even though right now I don't actually have to answer it at all. But I will have to soon and when I do I will do my best. I wouldn't even have considered it a year or so ago!
But I am a recovering self-harmer. I think anyone who has been through it will always be 'recovering', almost like an alcoholic on the wagon.

But I wouldn't personally change anything. It has been the toughest decade I expect I will ever have in my life but it has shaped, moulded and created who I am. I am becoming quite proud of who I have become. I am looking in the mirror which, for anyone who knows me, is quite an achievement and I don't always scowl at what looks back. Well a little bit but not as much ;) I still want to lose more weight but from a healthy, natural, fitness standpoint not the unwell, hateful standpoint anywhere near as often as it once was.

So no, I dont think I could give up the wonderful friends I've made and will keep for life, the fun or the stupidly random times I have had on here. And I don't think I would want to.

So I too say to the fairy thank you for the offer but I will have to decline.

Iz x (loving her RYL life!)

[Margo]

for anyone who knows me, is quite an achievement

God i think your lovely. Was going to say gorgeous but didnt want to make Ded mad at me. :P

[CaiteeBug]

There's no way in hell I would give you loons up. It's this forum that keeps me half sane.

[Misunderstood.]

I haven't thought about either option cos it's too hypothetical, it is how it is so...
yeah.

[UbermoronicismAgain]

I will always be your lover damnit. A little thing like getting married won't take me away from you! pfft.
And I'm blushing now Maffew.
I am hot though ;)

x

[CaiteeBug]

I believe it's *rubbers and lick*

[UbermoronicismAgain]

I don't know what you mean by rubbers so I wouldn't know!

Although I could do with a good...I shan't finish that sentance for fear of Erins wrath!

x

[Margo]

For the love of god BEHAVE or ill be round there filling in both of your gaps!

[Margo]

*puts his sausage away*

[UbermoronicismAgain]

Dear god. A vagueley serious thread and you manage to smut that up too!
On the other hand, I could do with some polyfiller for my gap.

And I do love a hotdog ;)
Oh dear.
Ahem.
x

[PropheticStar]

*coughs* My goodness. I am shocked you three, SHOCKED!












































Why didn't anyone call me if there was going to be gap filling...

[Chernobog]

I couldn't drop the people I've made friends with from here. I might have been inclined to say yes if they were erased from my mind but not having the memory of them still around.

[Casper_Fading]

honestly darlings.... could you give this up? This light and laughter that brightens up the darkness?

[Margo]

honestly darlings.... could you give this up? This light and laughter that brightens up the darkness?


I think so.
I would have very fond memories however. But yes, my answer would still be yes.

[All I'm Living For]

No, i could never give this up. not now, not ever.

[~KemicalRain~]

i wouldnt ever give RYL up i would mae sure i was okay and that i could be here if i was in recovery but i wouldnt wanna leave everyone :)

[Warrior_x]

I could never give up my RYL friends for anything. Especially not all the new ones I've made in the last couple of days (y?)

I already gave up RYL for a few months, and they were the hardest few months I ever had!!

[*deepest*regrets*]

No... My illness has made me who I am today. And I love RYL and the people on it. I couldn't give it up!

[Trucktastic]

Short answer - No.

Without RYL I would still be a lonely fat woman, but without any confidence. I would not have the support mechanisms that I have on here, I would still have to deal with the selfish person/people that I have the misfortune to know in RL.

With RYL I have confidence, I know I am not what everyone yells at me on the street, that I do have a right to me.
Because of the people here.

Loz x

[crazykat]

No I don't think I could as I have met some amazing people on here

[random.swirls]

Tough decision but then Im happy and well most of the time which means that I would keep all my RYL friends and chat to the fairy until she became a friend and then I probably wouldn't be well because I would have a fairy friend who I talked to and people would be jealous and this makes no sense whatsoever!

[Aidee]

But Cam, we all already have a Fairy Friend.....Maffew!!!!!

[Margo]

Yup thats me, the camp depraved psycho.

[Trucktastic]

But we loves you for it!

Loz x

[Sugar and Spice]

I have never bonded with people I've met via the net in the way that many of you seem to have so for me the choice is very straight-forward. I would choose health.

EDIT
I'm not being a bitch, just honest

[Casper_Fading]

Yup thats me, the camp depraved psycho.

psht. you're not the only one!!!! *hides chainsaw*

[Margo]

The majority of my life has been without illness. Theres been an underlying depression for many years and its stopped me in my tracks from time to time but on the whole i was leading a really normal life and a quite successful one.

Perhaps this is why i chose well over RYL. Perhaps this is the big difference. I had a life and friends outside of here.

Now i have no life and a few friends on the net and if im lucky i see one of them once a month.

I have no money, no security, no house, no new car, no nice clothes, no food, no cooking, no freedom.

Im not taking anything from the people here at all. god no. There is real love.

Sorry if its harsh. It aint gonna happen in real life. But this isnt a real life question. Its a case of applying the suspension of disbelief.

[Casper_Fading]

Matty *cuddles lots* I understand where you're coming from.

I have a life outside of ryl but ryl is where i can be the person who's not secure and sure of herself. who is unhappy and sad and angry. RYL is where the me that can't be about in real life is. *nods*