penpals

[smileemptysoul]

I was just wondering why there isnt a penpal section on V3. If my memory serves me right, there was one on the older version of ryl. I thought it was a great way of connecting people in the site since that doesnt always happen in the forums. Is there a reason it was not included in this version? Thanks

[butterfly525]

Yeah, I remember that too, I met a very nice girl that way.

[lower than myself]

Hmm... There was a penpal section?

[Paperdreams.]

It hasn't been included on V3 yet because there was little point when all profiles are searchable anyway, so you could just find friends though that. And, as you can see from the above posts, not many people knew it actually existed. :P

[Steel Magnolia]

I think its a really cute idea!

[X_rag_doll_X]

anyone into penpalling??? xxx

[Dramatic]

Now i have more time on my hands, i'd love to penpal with someone.
I think its a fabulous idea. Especially on RYL where people can relate to one another.
A section should totally be made :)
x

[Popple]

I remember that!!
Twas good =)

[Twisted Fate]

I would do it!

[I-Feel-Infinite]

i would love a penpal!!!!
i miss snail mail =(

[snowflake]

i like that idea, I would penpal :)

[Little_pixie]

yh penpal is kool when i was in junor school i had 1 and loved it so i would so be up for it!!!!!

Love Alison

[Snuffles]

ooh i miss snail mail too all i get now is just letters bout my payments or statements from the bank, oh so boring :P

ohh and i would love to be a pen pal too :)

[lolly_x]

would love penpal theres nothing better sometimes than a letter written to you...

hell when i ask rylers for something to borrow i love little letters they sometimes send

[Rawrk]

I'd love to do it! (:

[klo_flo]

How was the giving out home addresses thing gotten around?

Chloe x

[Life and Lies]

i would love to do it too, we should get something organised, i miss getting letters
xxx

[Getting_There_Monkey]

I would love a penpal =) I never get snailmail anymore =(

How could all this be organised?

If someone wanted to PM me they could and we could sort out something =)

[Katiecakes.]

We could buddy up and send a PM to each other with our addresses?
I miss getting mail other than my bank statement.
It'd be so nice to write to someone =)

[klo_flo]

I would still like to know what happened about the exchange of personal email address before... it is very unlikely anything dogey would happen, but it's best to be overly cautious.

Chloe x

[Duffer44]

giving out your address over the web even over a site like ryl sounds wrong :\ you never know who you are giving your address to it would have to be monitored if it went through :\

[Porcelain Child]

giving out your address over the web even over a site like ryl sounds wrong : you never know who you are giving your address to it would have to be monitored if it went through :

I agree and i would never give out my address over the internet so i wouldn't be up for the idea...

You say it would have to be monitored... to me that still doesn't make it feel safe to me...

*wanders out of thread*

[klo_flo]

Hence my question peeps!

It could go through a senior Mod/CT project. Certain things like money for posting/where in the world would need to be ironed out. Plus, find a senior mod who would be happy.

Other wise it would be a Harley/Harley's Dad job.

Chloe x

[Porcelain Child]

^^ Are you voluteering!! =)

[Duffer44]

ok say a mod does vet it and stuff how would it be monitored as its impossible to tell people are who they say they are unless they have met other members :\

[Porcelain Child]

^^ True because no one doesn't really know who they are talking to really on the internet and its even more dangerous through snail mail... especially if they arrange to meet up you don't know excately who it is your are talking to...

[klo_flo]

ok say a mod does vet it and stuff how would it be monitored as its impossible to tell people are who they say they are unless they have met other members :



This is very true. And if people then feel safe enough and directly exchange... and as Claire said meet.... hmmm

Aren't we just the kill joys!
Chloe x

[Duffer44]

i feel like it chloe i mean its a great idea but keeping members safe is more important

[Porcelain Child]

i feel like it chloe i mean its a great idea but keeping members safe is more important

*nods*

What is wrong with email anyway...

I hate snail mail... i always do emails...

[Misunderstood.]

I'd definitely be up for that (=

[Katiecakes.]

I'm up for anything,
Any way of being able to contact people would be nice =)

[X_rag_doll_X]

brilliant, if anyone wants a penpal PM me =) i think its much more fun than emails + more personal too x x x

[X_rag_doll_X]

i know what people are saying about the whole safety thing + i agree. but isn't it just the same as if you went onto a penpal site? if people want to do it but don't feel comfortable giving out their address isn't there a way we could send our address to some one that is in control of the site + we send our letters to them + they send the letters to the people that we want, we could all (people that want to do it) have our own ID number so who ever is in charge of it knows who to send the letters to. just an idea! some people don't like snail mail, fairynuff, but i for one do. and its helped me alot, writing to people, especially people who i can relate to xxx

[Cupcake]

I'd also love a penpal, i go to the post office so many times a week now I might as well, it'd be fun actually getting something back in the mail that i didn't order! :D

As for safety, 9 times out of 10, nothing is going to happen. My address gets sent out everytime I send a package, and i get people addresses every day online, and i don't stalk them/w/e, and they don't stalk me. :P

[Cupcake]

I also do craft swaps on another site, and addresses are given out all the time, and nothing bad has ever happened, that i've known about!

[Dramatic]

I think there's a difference between being cautious and overly cautious.
But then, i've shared my home address from a young age (13) when i first started meeting people from the internet. Obviously i'd ask my parents, and so long as everything was ledgit (i.e. speaking on the phone with them/there parents/seeing one another on webcam) i'd never see anything wrong in it.

But then i'm not a cautious type, and never have been. My mother packed me off for a 4 hour coach journey when i was 15 to go and meet a helper (who was in her 20's) from another website.

It's not just the internet people have to be cautious about, it's everyday life. You never know who you're speaking to on a day to day basis. Is that person a murderer? Is that person a so and so?
You simply don't know.
So the internet to me is no different than real life.

If people don't feel safe with sharing there addresses, then that is fine and it's upto them if they want to do so or not.
It's the same with the RYL meets - if people feel uneasy about giving there whereabouts/meeting people "off the internet" it's within there rights to not go to the meets..

It really is upto the individual in question. I doubt someone is just going to go "Hey be my penpal here's my address!" It would be a case of getting to know one another first!
RYL can't do anything about people sharing email addresses/home addresses/mobile phone numbers. It's not Harley's responsibility (or any moderators responsibility) about what his members get upto.
And i think that should be stated here on RYL. That he/the mods hold no responsibility over what information is shared between individual members.

[GlitterTrashDoll]

I'd be up for it! :)

[newanda]

I'd love a penpal! sounds fun :)

[Rawrk]

Letters are more personal than emails, and I get so many pointless emails a day it just seems a bit bleh.

Like here, you get PM's and stuff but they're all in the same font and like cloned and shizzle.

If I don't make sense I'm sorry, it's 4am and I'm tired.

But anyways, if someone wants to sort it out, I would love to have a penpal in teh UK.

Yeah

i'ma sleep now.

[amixlovesxcheryl]

I'd be up for it :)

[Sweetest Downfall]

I'd be up for it! :)

Amy I is so gunna write to youuu
even though I could just see you!

I likes penpal idea muchly :)

[ICPfandom]

OOOOH! I want a pen pal! Thatd be great! :D

[akita]

I'll give it a go.

[flybat3]

id try it.

[Rawrk]

So how would it be sorted?

[amixlovesxcheryl]

I have no idea but i really want a penpal now lol :(

[**kleechy**]

I WANT A PENPAL

[griddlebone]

Id love a penpal....Id end up sending packages rather than just letters lol.x

[Rawrk]

^ yeah lol I'd probably end up sending bits and bobs with it (:

[amixlovesxcheryl]

me too, its just one of them things where your like hi have a letter and the next week your like HEY THERE, HAVE HALF THE CONTENSE OF MY HOUSE! Hehe, i really want one :(

[PixieHope.]

I want a penpal toooo.
Loads of people have had my address and nothing has happened. I always send off for things and order online.

Someone write to meeeeee!

[lolly_x]

shall we have a go at sorting this out kinda???

with who doesn't know who and stuff then randomly sort it all out?

[griddlebone]

me too, its just one of them things where your like hi have a letter and the next week your like HEY THERE, HAVE HALF THE CONTENSE OF MY HOUSE! Hehe, i really want one :(
haha,totally.

[amixlovesxcheryl]

Well if anyone wants to penpal with me ill be happy to sort it out but it depends on those people with the cautious-ness lol. If anyone wants to penpal with me just let me know lol. I want one soooo much now

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

Surely this wouldn't be that different from people exchanging addresses to get Harley Bear all over the world? (I haven't fully read the thread, just scanned, so that point might already have been mentioned).

[amixlovesxcheryl]

Surely this wouldn't be that different from people exchanging addresses to get Harley Bear all over the world? (I haven't fully read the thread, just scanned, so that point might already have been mentioned).


I guess not, and nothings ever gone wrong there has it?

Im excited now, my brains all like penpal Penpal PENPALL!

[beautiful&dying]

I'm an avid penpaller, write about 5-6 letters a week on average. It's so much fun, we should organise it if it's allowed...
xxxxxxxxx

[amixlovesxcheryl]

:( Ive never had one

[beautiful&dying]

oh you'll be glad to start then, they are so useful to sound off to and get to know. plus it improves your writing as well, I know letters have a lot to do with my writing practise. You have to be committed and able to give away a part of yourself each letter. Loads of fun!
xxxxxx

[amixlovesxcheryl]

write to meee! lol

[pineapple016]

I really want a penpal too now reading all this!! I love sending letters i always end up putting glitter and stickers and stuff in/on them. I'm up for switching address with someone (preferably a girl though) but saftey wise if people were worried would it be better if people lived further away just to try to be safer (i dont know how it would help but it kinda makes it sound better in a weird way!) but if they live 4 hours away there is less chance of something happening than if they live 1 hour away if you get what i mean... its not really true but it could be.
maaaan i ramble!

[Dramatic]

I'm really up for it now aswell :) I'd probably only like to have one penpal (for now anyway) though as i'd feel all under pressure if i had more, as i'm slow at getting things done these days!

I'd probably like a woman around my own age also (2-3 years younger max) just because i'd feel i'd have more in common with someone my age than i would someone younger. heh.

So, if anyone is interested just PM me because i'm not at all over cautious and i'm happy to talk to anyone (worldwide :)).

Crap, will i get told off for selling myself? haha. xx

[amixlovesxcheryl]

Yup, id prefer a girlie aswell, if anyone wants to penpal with me send me a pm :)

[All I'm Living For]

Surely this wouldn't be that different from people exchanging addresses to get Harley Bear all over the world?

the exchanging of addresses in regards to Harley Bear goes through me and Nic. when Harley Bear is going to be sent on the next person to get him is supposed to pm their address to me Nic and the person who currently has him.


Soph.

[Snuffles]

Ooohhh I'm still up for being a penpal :D

[*deepest*regrets*]

Me too! I love getting letters... and I don't mind giving my address out because I live on a different continent to most people here

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

the exchanging of addresses in regards to Harley Bear goes through me and Nic. when Harley Bear is going to be sent on the next person to get him is supposed to pm their address to me Nic and the person who currently has him.


Soph.

Yeh, I know that, but addressed are being shared through the internet without really knowing who people are. If that can be done safely then there shouldn't be much reason why this one isn't if it's organised properly, that's all I meant.

[lolly_x]

***attention***

If I was to sort all of this out even though it would kinda take a while would you all be intrested in it???

I wouldn't mind sorting this out at all. :)

can people make a lost so i know your intrested

lolly_x (laura)

[Snuffles]

Ok people, just copy the list below, add your name and post... that what your looking for lolly_x?



1. Princesskt (Katie)
2.

[Crayon,]

1. Princesskt (Katie)
2. Reluctant (Teaghan)

[klo_flo]

As has been mentioned several times, the safety of members is really important. How would you get around this?

Maybe the member would have to have been part of RYL for a certain number of months to ensure they are who they say they are? Also perhaps having a Mod to help the process?

Chloe x

[Day Tripper]

I agree with Chloe/klo_flo. I recommend, before you go on starting this up, come up with ideas of how to protect members/prove someone is legit/etc.

How did this work on v2?

[Snuffles]

Yeah that sounds all good. If there is another anyone wants me to do, just PM me, I can't promise I can work extra at getting this to work but just PM me anyway for anything. I'm happy to help it work :)

[beautiful&dying]

1. Princesskt (Katie)
2. Reluctant (Teaghan)

3. beautiful&dying (Helen)
xxxxx

[klo_flo]

As has been mentioned several times, the safety of members is really important. How would you get around this?

Maybe the member would have to have been part of RYL for a certain number of months to ensure they are who they say they are? Also perhaps having a Mod to help the process?

Chloe x

I agree with Chloe/klo_flo. I recommend, before you go on starting this up, come up with ideas of how to protect members/prove someone is legit/etc.

How did this work on v2?


Why are people obviously ignoring this... and previously mentioned concerns?

Chloe x

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

Because it's easier to ignore it than take any responsibility in making sure it's safe?

Those that arranged the Bear did a great job of organising it properly and keeping it as safe as possible, yet no one is willing to do this here and everyone is just hoping someone else will.

I do agree though Chloe, it DOES need to be as safe as possible.

[Queen Crabbit]

No idea Chloe.

I really don't think it's a good idea for people to give out their addresses to random people.

[Dramatic]

How about posting a picture of yourself holding a sign with your username?
..
..
On another note. I think it's down to individual members to whether or not they wish to exchange addresses.

[Queen Crabbit]

What about if all the letters got sent to the person organising it, who then sent them on?

e.g. you write your letter to your pen pal. Put a stamp on it for the correct amount [so you'd know if it was a different country or whatever, but that's about it] and then leave that envelope blank.

Then put that envelope & a piece of paper saying who it's for inside another envelope, which would then be sent to the organiser.

Long winded way of doing it but it ensures that address giving out is minimal.

[Dramatic]

But even then how are you meant to know who you're sending it to is "ledgit"?
It's just going the long way round with possibly the same consequences so it seems pointless to me, and a waste of time for the person having to send hundreds of letters.

[klo_flo]

I don't think it would be hundreds.

I do think that Chels' idea is possible. But I agree it still leaves the problem of are they who they say they are.

Hence, why I was thinking people need to have been a member for 6 months or more. Then the Mods could do a background check on them too?!

Chloe x

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

X amount of time or Y amount of posts makes the most sense, really. *agrees*

[Queen Crabbit]

The thing with the argument against it being the member's peroggative if they share their address or not is that this could end up being a community team project, and as such the liability for RYL is a lot greater if anything untoward does happen - even if it isn't a CT thing, then it's still being organised through RYL and the liability issue is a very big thing - & could result in RYL being shut down.

[Dramatic]

Wait..i don't get this?

How is someone being a member for so many months, or, someone posting so many posts, meant to tell us they are who they say they are?!?

I'm not overly cautious and i don't intend to be. If someone wants to penpal with me they're quite welcome to and i'd be willing to give my address to them. That is my right and i'm the one taking "the risk".

But what i don't understand - for all these people that are overly cautious - is why suggestions are being made whereby you still don't know if that person is ledgit or not?

The majority of members on here have at one time or another posted a picture of themselves. Just post a picture with a sign? Atleast then this will clarify you're a bloke/woman.

I mean, anyone could become a member for 6 months, anyone can flood the boards to be given the rights to get a "Penpal".
All these suggestions still prove absolutely nothing in regards to members being who they say they are..

[beautiful&dying]

Surely if you're over 18 you have a right to give your address to whoever you want?

[klo_flo]

How is someone being a member for so many months, or, someone posting so many posts, meant to tell us they are who they say they are?!?

Becuase it gives them more time to slip up, for odd things to happen that catch the attentino of moderators and for predator like behaviour to be caught. It doesn't garentee who they are, but gives a much better picture of the type of person they are.


I'm not overly cautious and i don't intend to be. If someone wants to penpal with me they're quite welcome to and i'd be willing to give my address to them. That is my right and i'm the one taking "the risk".
Yes, but RYL does have a responsibility and it's life could be put on the line if it's not careful. This might be something that is just not supported by RYL and it's staff... but that you do what you feel is "your right" in private =)


The majority of members on here have at one time or another posted a picture of themselves. Just post a picture with a sign? Atleast then this will clarify you're a bloke/woman.

Love, this is *exactly* how people are lured to meet with 45 year old men who steal children and do horrible things to them... by pretending to be someone else. Pictures don't mean a lot, hence the suggestion of time, to build up a picture of the member.


All these suggestions still prove absolutely nothing in regards to members being who they say they are..
I think I've answere that now.


Chloe x

[klo_flo]

Surely if you're over 18 you have a right to give your address to whoever you want?

Mais oui. But whether you have the right to do something or not, doesn't actually make it safe, or OK, or the right thing to do... ona site with young members who are in a very vulnerable space ;)

Chloe x

[Dramatic]

How can you FAKE a picture of yourself with a sign clearly stating your username?
That is more "fool proof" than someone faking an account for 6 months. Faking is pretty damn easy online, especially when people are good at it.

I'd be much more satisfied by a picture with someones username next to them, than knowing someone had been a member for 6 months, that's for sure.

And yes, "love", it is my right to do what i wish to do in private, that's what i was stating to everyone - if people feel they wish to have a penpal, it's within there means to go about it how they wish to. Sadly RYL don't have the power over people exchanging email addresses/PM's/home addresses/mobile numbers.

I can understand RYL on the safety whole of things. But RYL wouldn't be liable for absolutely nothing if anything was to happen (which in my book it won't). If someone was to take legal action against RYL, evidence would prove that that particular member went about changing addresses in private, which would mean RYL aren't liable for anything.
So. That's a load of rubbish.

Like i said, if people want to be overly cautious and extra sensitive, then do so, but atleast come up with suggestions & ways that will prove members are who they say they are. I could quite easily fake an account right now for the next 6 months, fakes very rarely (if at all) slip up, unless you're a 12 year old girl who wants attention.

[klo_flo]

Hmmm,

I feel parts of your reponse are quite naive and I don't want to be reduced to arguing with you because of your provocative comments. If you can't appreciate things that are being mentioned, I won't be replying to you anymore and let the Forum Mods take over and have the casting vote.

Chloe x

[lolly_x]

idea...

right if a mod gets hold of this and we keep on arguing its just gonna get locked which would be a big shame to those who seriously want to do it.

Right Chloe or other mods how about Active member for 3 months???
Then the newbies can give it agao and forthwith?

with address change overs... i could do with help here but how about something like the penpal is like a few hours away or something???

[Rawrk]

can we not argue? This is meant to be something fun :/

I think Chels' idea could work.


Lets just think about it...and try and work out how we'd organise it, and not argue?

i'd raelly like to do this :/

[lolly_x]

i've pmed chloe on the matter with this. :)
and see what she thinks with the stuff i've come up with.

[Porcelain Child]

I don't really have anything to add...

I think basically Chloe/klo_flo has mentioned every thing... and i too don't want this to be locked as it would be a shame...

Laura i think it a good of you that you want to take that job on but i don't think its been actually approved yet and there are lots of concerns and worries going on...

I myself would not feel safe with handing my address out to someone on the internet even if they had been a member for 3/4 months cos people can be clever...

If people want to give there addresses out over the internet then thats up to them... but its dangerous... and maybe it be a good idea to read the news more before you make that decision...

*wanders out of thread*

B

[lolly_x]

idea...

Right Chloe or other mods how about Active member for 3 months???
Then the newbies can give it agao and forthwith?

with address change overs... i could do with help here but how about something like the penpal is like a few hours away or something???

or first letter they get sent to the person running it kinda? then after few letters if everythings fine and stuff they can send without sending to person running it???

If anything they think is fishy they report it straight away and stuff.

some set rules aswell

[Day Tripper]

I haven't had a chance to catch up with everything on this thread yet.

I will like to say that it's not JUST for the safety of the members, but given that this was started on RYL (especially publicly), if something was to go wrong, it would be very, very easy to hold RYL (Harley, perhaps the moderators?) liable for anything! Yes, the safety of members is our first priority, but it's not our only concern, and other things need to be thought of. To be fair, most members have no idea of the history of the site behind the scenes, so you actually have no idea if we've been in trouble legally in the past or not, and really would have to talk to Harley to see what he could be held liable for or not because he has a much better idea than those that aren't running the site.

We've had amazing liars on here before. Seriously. And, as for the photo of a person with their user name, that could easily be photoshopped.

Six months seems like a long time, but really to be on the safer side, I'd personally recommend that the person has to have attended an official RYL meet before ever being allowed to join in the penpal thing, but that's perhaps my modly knowledge side taking over.

It's a lot better to have these ideas here and discussed (rather than arguments occurring) so that if it does become a serious idea for v3 then a lot of it is already sorted.

Ideas:

Six months of having been a member.
Picture with user name of person.
Email addresses only perhaps?

I'm really not sure if this would be approved, but it is an idea, and if a safe way is thought of to have this happen then it is more likely to be approved then just a vague idea. :)

But, yes, please lessen the amount of arguing. I would hate to see what some people find to be a good idea get shot down because some people have to start debates where they're not necessary.

[Dramatic]

I hardly think my reply was naive, i think speaking to anyone in a patronising manner will only provoke such replies.

The media has put into peoples heads how "dangerous" the internet is. It's extremely rare for anything to happen on the internet. It's down to common sense. If you've just met someone you're not going to go upto them and simply hand your address over. I wouldn't give my address to someone i hadn't spoken to on the phone or seen pictures of - that's common sense, because you want to trust the people you're talking to.
The media hype everything about the internet up. The smallest thing will be made to seem extremely big and start paranoia in everyone. I've not seen anything about the internet being "unsafe" for a long time. Certainly nothing that's spread across the front pages. And i've never believed anything the media types anyway.

I've been handing my address out and meeting people (of both sexes) from the age of 13 on the internet and i'm still alive and well. I've met hundreds of people who have done the exact same thing as me and all are still alive (wow i hear you gasp).

I see nothing wrong in being over protective/over cautious, but to actually sit and say that you'd rather trust a member who's been here for 3-6 months (and has shown no pictures), than see a picture with a sign with there username on is somewhat naive in itself! Things being photoshopped are extremely obvious, so i don't know how anyone could "fake" something like that without it being noticed!

I'd rather trust a member with a photograph, than trust someone who's been on here for 3 months.

Whatever way you do this, addresses will be swapped. It doesn't matter whether you all send them to the queen to sort through - it will still come down to the fact you don't know who you're writing too.
It's upto you whether you wish to make that risk or not.

No amount of planning and putting people in charge will change the fact you're all changing addresses.
I feel it'd be a waste of someones time just to forward them a letter to send onto someone, when you're only going to be swapping addresses in the first letter anyway? It defeats the object. And it's long winded.

I'm not arguing here - i'm just stating clear cut facts.

[Rawrk]

Day Tripper, I know you're probably not allowed to say, but what/how did they lie about things?

I think there should be some kinda restriction or something, but I don't know what.

=/

[Day Tripper]

In general, photos can easily be faked. Genders. Where they live. *shrugs* Some did those things so well no one knew until they came clean to people. That's where I fear that photos won't do much good, especially if you can find someone with a sign and change the wording on it or something.

The moderators are starting discussion about this, just to let you all know, and hopefully something will come of it soon. :)

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

I too thought of the meet thing, but that's hard when members might want to participate but are somewhere where meets don't happen.

On here I have come across someone who was an older guy, who pretended to be a young girl, but was honest with me about what he had done (and yes, I did report this to the mods).

There have been people on here who have lied about some awful things, but they generally trip up within a fairly quick amount of time because lies generate more lies and when people put their heads together you can identify liars, so by X amount of time on the site or Y amount of posts, most liars will have been weeded out and most members will then be genuine.

[Queer Fringe]

4 - Queer Fringe (Hazel) :-)
I have only just seen this thread, my friend sent me the link and I would so be up for it :-)
xxxx

[Day Tripper]

Sometimes liars aren't that easy to spot. I am able to name a few who are no longer on this site but no one picked up on until they came clean. And they went on for years lying about their age/who they were/where they lived/gender/etc.

[Popple]

I would prefer to talk to the person online a couple of times too
Like theres quite a few people on here I know well and I would happily give my address but if it was someone who I didn't know I would at least want to speak to them online first just for my own piece of mind and if they turned out to be a liar chances are they wouldn't then thats my own fault because I chose to speak to them but yeah I think people should have to at least have been a member for a certian amount of time first because they have been some spectacular liars on here I remember. I swear I even remember someone faking their death but it's up to the person wether they take part and so they have to accept responsibility for what they are doing

[Rawrk]

Why would you lie about stuff like that?

0.o

Maybe it's me being too trusting or anything, but...just why would you do it?

*shrug*

*waits for decision from mods*
(:

[Dramatic]

Completely agree Rawrk.

Liars very, VERY rarely give out there home address, because it means if they're pretending to be the opposite sex - the name being put on the address would cause problems.

*shrug* I'm happy just saying "Hey, i'm 22, female (last time i looked down) i'd like a penpal..email me if interested..!"

Oh i love selling myself. mwhaha.

[Day Tripper]

Names don't always have to be put on envelopes.

Sorry, I just am throwing things out there.

[A Poisonous, Evil Nothing]

If someone lives alone then it doesn't matter what name is on the envelope.

In situations like this, you have to look at worst case scenario because if that happens, chances are we would all lose RYL. You have to cover all bases (or at the very least, as many as possible), because imagine if this went wrong. It could be devastating on personal levels for people, and also on a wider scale.

[Dramatic]

Everyone is overreacting in my opinion, and in other peoples opinions also, as i've had several personal emails from members saying they agree with me but don't feel comfortable getting into this. Comforting to know i'm not the only one who feels this way.

Some of which who have emailed me already have several penpals from RYL and various other websites - so it seems people have been doing this long before it was even suggested.

Nothing would happen to RYL if people were to give out addresses behind all the moderators backs (which already seems to be happening). The only way RYL would be liable is if it was to go about doing it "properly" but something still went wrong.

RYL can't physically protect everyone. That's the point..they can try, but unless someone is willing to go to each individuals house and meet up with them, no one is going to know who anyone is.

Whatever way you look at it, your identity and addresses will be given out. If people don't want to "risk" that, don't become a penpal..

[Cupcake]

if you did want a middle man for members to post to, and then post their letters out, I would be up for doing that, as long as the postage is paid for! My address is given out all the time through my shop, and people sending in patches for the RYL patchwork quilt have it. Plus I go to the postoffice very often anyway, so it wouldn't be any hassle for me to post the letters on.

[girl_with_a_broken_smile]

I Would Love To Penpal With Someone As Ive Never Had The Chance To
Im On 15:/ But Oh Well

[Misunderstood.]

Tbh i'd want to do the penpals thing, but im not gna just put my name on a list. i be alot happier knowing an RYL mod of some kind was in on it.
addresses going backwards and forwards and here there and everywhere within a list just doesnt seem right.
not secure enough =//
maybe im just strange like that.

[Rawrk]

I'd trust Cupcake with my address and such.

[Queer Fringe]

The thing is if someone gave out there home address to write letters and recieve them and they ended up someone they say they are not...the police know excactly where to find them :-) full stop. :-)

[Getting_There_Monkey]

^^^ I Agree

[confuzzled]

I agree with Chloe here. I'm sorry but i'd rather the site 'over react' than to not give a **** and for something to happen. What's the harm in waiting a little longer for some rules to be put in place? There's no harm in it, which ever way you look at it. We've lasted this long without having a penpal system, what's another few weeks or months?

[Dramatic]

It's not the fact people are "overreacting" that i feel is the problem.
It's the fact that people believe rules and regulations will make you any more safer - which it won't. At the end of the day you are still giving your home address out, you are still revealing your identity to someone you haven't met. You are still at risk of something happening to you whatever way you look at it, or whatever way you go about giving your address out!

By all means do the rules and regulations. But passing letters onto someone to pass onto someone else doesn't make you any less safer. A member being on here for a few months, does not make you any less safer.

That's my point.
If people don't feel happy/safe in giving there address out to people online, then penpalling might not be for them.

[Queen Crabbit]

The rules maybe won't make anyone safer, but they will show that RYL has done everything in it's power to protect people IF something bad does happen, and therefore will protect the site if something happens - I mean, it'd be bad enough if anything did happen - devastating, even - but having RYL shut down as well? It would be awful.

[confuzzled]

You made a point in your previous reply about how you and others feel like everyone is 'over reacting' which is what i was replying to. RYL is precautious, it has to be, and up to now it's not harmed anyone for being the way it is. There's no rush. And certainly no harm in being precautious. Just like the members only board. That has a safety feature on it, so i wouldn't think this should be any different. I understand where you are coming from, don't get me wrong, i just don't see the problem in waiting untill safety rules come in place.

[squirrelspit]

what if you got peoples facebooks or whatever, and searched their profile, because surely seeing pictures of people interacting with their friends, and writing on their walls and whatever counts as some kind of proof their not a 50 year old man.
especially as a lot of time you can look at other peoples profiles that are on their friends list so you know theyre real too and what not.

i dunno.. its hard to think how to prove something, i just know that if anyone had any doubts about me being a 22 year old woman, they just needed to look on my facebook and see all the pictures of me and my friends falling over drunk and what have you.

[Rawrk]

^ Yeah, but I don't have facebook or myspace, don't want one, and wouldn't get one just for the sake of proving I am a girl etc.

I don't mind waiting for some rules and stuff.

*shrug*

[KayCee_x]

I would love a pen pal 2 :D
I used to have one years ago we used to send each other little presents haha
I miss it :(
xxxxxx

[Undomiel]

I'm very cautious about giving personal details or posting photos on the internet...I had a scare a few years ago on another site and I think I'm probably a bit over the top now actually. I'm glad the Mods are being so careful about this...
I can see how it would be a really great thing though...

Umm pointless post!

[angelmillennium666]

i'd be up for a penpal or two or three....

[typsee]

Due to the moderating team's concerns that members may already be using this thread as an unauthorised way of identifying other members who are interested in wanting a penpal and privately swapping names and addresses, this thread is now going to be locked.

Thank you all for your ideas, suggestions, and thoughts on RYL having some sort of a penpal scheme - I will be taking this discussion to the RYL staff now, and we will be discussing whether it is feasible for the RYL website to host penpal program that limits the potential dangers to our members (and the subsequent liability for this website).

Please allow the RYL staff a couple of weeks to discuss this idea, and if anyone has any additional suggestions or thoughts that were not mentioned on this thread, please PM a moderator who can make sure it gets passed along and mentioned on the RYL staff discussion thread about this.

Thank you.

[typsee]

Hey everyone ....

I just wanted to let you all know that we havent forgotten about this thread and where some members expressed their interest in RYL hosting a penpal scheme.

Since I last posted on this thread, the staff have been discussing whether there is a way that a penpal scheme for RYL members could be coordinated and managed safelyat this website - as safety is our main concern about this idea - but due to all the new changes that are currently going on at RYL with the Community Team and the main site, unfortunately we probably wont have an answer for you about this for at least a few more weeks.

Thank you for your patience with this delay.