I'm Done! Moving on. **Positive Recovery Post**
 

Hey everybody. I know no one really knows me here. I haven't posted in quite a while either. But I thought I'd come back and give a little update and tell a piece of my story.

I started therapy the beginning of September. I was in a really bad place and had just begun cutting myself. I felt so empty all the time. Either that or I felt a million emotions at once and couldn't handle it. The cutting started getting worse and so did my depression.

I finally decided in November to tell my therapist about the self harm, since it's part of the reason I even started therapy in the first place! A few weeks later I brought my family in to tell them what was going on. I expected the worst. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever done in my life. They of course were very upset and worried but didn't judge and were supportive.

Ever since the new year, I've been feeling a lot better. I think it was a few things coupled together; a break from school/work/friends, a new year, support, etc. The last time I cut myself was January 19th. :-)

I feel like a switch went off in my mind. I was lucky enough to not have to be put on medication. I was determined to get back to my old self and be the person I know I'm meant to be. Changing my thinking was key in my recovery. Sure, I still have terrible days, and cutting crosses my mind often but I know I'm stronger than that. I'm so blessed and have been given an opportunity to start over and find who I really am. I'm still working on many things in my therapy sessions but I feel I've moved passed this one chapter in my life and made it out alive.

Sure, I have scars to show for it and still have to face the questions and judgement when other important people in my life find out about it, but I know I'm better than just that and the scars do not define me.

I know it doesn't happen this way for many people. Some people struggle with the addiction for years and years and the depression never goes away. I don't why it happened like this for me, but all I can be is thankful that I'm a stronger person for it now.

I just wanted to share my story and say thank you for having this website. It helped me many times when I was struggling and I'm sure will help me (and countless others) in the future.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk or anything. I've been thinking of getting a tattoo on my wrist (a small one) of an orange SH ribbon with the words "Stay Strong" next to it. Does anyone have any thoughts on that? I know that an orange ribbon is also for leukemia so I wouldn't want it to get confused :/

Thanks again for listening and for reading this whole thing. Stay strong everyone!

This was nice to read, thank you for sharing.
Your strength seemed to shine through as I read! You're doing really well. I'm glad you fought to get your "old self" back! =)

Congratulations! I think a big part of your recovery was asking for help, talking about what you do and drawing your family into your problems. Also changing your thoughts.

I don't really know about the tattoo. I have mixed feelings because it would be a constant reminder to stay strong, yet a tattoo is cutting too,
in a way. Discuss it with your therapist, family and closest friend.

Sometimes when I'm not sure about a decision, I ask 4 wise people who are close to me. If I get 3 red lights, I decide no. If I get 3 I don't knows,
I wait. If I get 3 green lights, I go for it!

This is such a ME ME ME society that we tend to just do what we want without consulting others. So I like it that you asked for other people's opinions.

Thanks :) I definitely learned that talking things through is key to staying "sane." haha

And as for the tattoo, I'm thinking of just getting stay strong not with the ribbon or anything. Because it's always been a motto of mine but i stuck by it and it got me through.

I definitely am going to sit with it for a while. I'm going next week to get a different tattoo and I sat with this one for like a year and a half. And the tattoo I already have I wanted for a really long time.

But thank you both for taking the time to read through my obnoxiously long post haha and for your support <3