Why do very young children self-harm without recognising they are doing it? And how does this affect someone self-harming?



It is normal for young children to hit themselves when angry.

Typically, a child may feel upset or distressed by various situational factors such as hunger, being ignored, having his favourite toy taken away from him or even feeling uncomfortable after soiling himself. The child would normally express the displeasure and discomfort by crying. This serves to gain the attention of people around. A small minority may hit themselves but if they are reassured consistently that they are being cared for and loved, this hitting behaviour would usually stop over time.

It is important to show the child another healthier way to express his distress, such as speaking to an adult caregiver. This strategy usually works. There is no need to worry too much about such behaviour because children will learn more adaptive ways to express themselves as they grow up.

Younger children who lack the vocabulary to express themselves may re-enact past traumas by biting and hitting themselves, or banging themselves against hard surfaces. Although these seem to be rather extreme behaviours, they are a form of self-expression for these children. If adults are there to teach the child a healthy way of expressing themselves, self-harming will not persist through growing up years.

When young, self-harming is a way of expressing emotions whereas as we grow older, self-harming turns into more of a coping mechanism. Therefore, to children, they are not aware that they self-harming because it serves the purpose of expressing emotions.


Angela