Constant Battle.

I am 20 years old, and I have been through so much in my life its unbelievable. All I want is to feel happy again. I don't feel anything anymore, I'm just numb all the time. I stated Cutting a few months ago just to feel something, to prove myself that I'm still here. I never even meant to start, but now that I have I cant find the strength to stop. I carry something with me in my purse everywhere I go just in case I need the relief of feeling alive while I'm out. I'm just so scared and Ive never felt so alone in my entire life. I need help to get through this, because at this point i feel like Ive lost myself and the real me is never coming back. Its a constant battle I'm dealing with.