It amazes me that...

Rain Keeper · 12-05-2009, 06:48 PM

That I have forgotten who I was.
It has been a long 2 months since self harm.
It has been longer than that since seeing you guys.
It has been even longer since speaking to anyone regarding my life.
That I am fixing to turn a year older (and that I am still here to say it)
That I havent thought of killing myself in over a month.
That I am lonely but not crying out.
That I am satisfied with not crying out.
That I have overcome fears of what I am going through right now.

That it really doesnt matter what I feel or how I feel I have learned differnt ways to cope.

It amazes me that life is here...and that I lost so much of it.

I miss you guys,
Rain

CrazyHayley · 12-05-2009, 08:11 PM

Rain, I'm not to sure if you remember me, I dissapeared from here at the end of last august but reappered this week. Its good to see that you've come back in to say hello and that you miss us and I am so so happy for you that you've gone 2months SH free and a month without suicidal thoughts. RYL is always here to pop in from time to time if you need it and for us lot to give you huggles. Keep going in the positive direction that you've started and you can be an inspiration to others.

*huggles you*

wildly insane · 12-05-2009, 10:52 PM

yay Rain, I hope things carry on getting better and you aren't lonely long *hugs*

riley. · 16-05-2009, 04:31 PM

proud of you rainy
lots of love xxx

Rain Keeper · 22-05-2009, 03:53 PM

of course i remember you! glad to see you around. Thanks you guys. I know I havent been around, but I have been behaving myself. I am off the meds because it was getting expensive, but I feel good about it. I have a few that are honest if they think I am heading the wrong direction, they are blunt and ask if all is ok. I havent seen my therapist in about 7 weeks, but plan on seeing her soon just to keep touch.

I have not had a break since November between both jobs (yes still working 70+ hours a week) but am taking the Memorial day weekend off to be with my family!!!! THREE WHOLE DAYS!!! Planning on a relaxing trip to pick blackberries, go four wheeling, and fishing.

Wednesday will be rough for me, so I am trying to put "happy thoughts and times" into the day. I WILL MAKE IT!!!

*cheers to you*

Thanks again,
Rain

realflifefaerie · 22-05-2009, 04:55 PM

There's some amazing acheivements in that list. You should be really proud. I think I remember you being around though I've always lurked rather than posted.
Have a lovely weekend.
xxx

Margo · 26-05-2009, 04:05 PM

Rainy get in touch! *hugs and love*

Rain Keeper · 26-05-2009, 05:22 PM

I need to see your post Matthew. Tomorrow is a day I want to ignore. I am struggling right now to see a good thing in a birthday. I am old. Scared and scarred. I cant ruin my life to what it is now. I will make it. Your post inspired me. THank you and congrats,

Rainy

Rain Keeper · 27-05-2009, 03:17 PM

Keep on keeping on..pushing hard through the day... I must make it.