school just had a suicide

littlemermaid · 08-05-2009, 10:37 PM

I am done with school and the day is ruined cause i just got an email saying someone at school commited suicide.

i dont know why its hitting me so much. I have had friends die from suicide, i didnt even know him. but yea, im an EMT and I just keep thinking what if i was called to a suicide. i would freak out.

all this is just trigger trigger trigger. Im going home tomorrow and i feel like tonight is my last chance to cut. i cant do it at home i just cant. but yea, i knooow i shouldnt, im trying i really am

blondiebear · 09-05-2009, 05:30 AM

It is ok that you feel the sorrow, that it is making you feel so bad. Maybe you weren't able to grieve for your friends, so now you are kind of transferring it to this person at school.

Trying is good. I hope you get through this.

09-05-2009, 10:52 AM

It probably brought back feelings of when you experienced other suicides of people closer. *hugs*

lostandalone3 · 09-05-2009, 11:58 AM

Im an paramedic too, and yes it is terrible when you get called to a suicide. But like any job you get on with what needs to be done.

Treat the patient, take them to hospital, rescusitate the person, talk to them.

Its a job like any other and yep it plays on my mind for days maybe weeks but we have debriefing after every job. Do you do that? I find that helps or talking to a counsellor or somethng.

How old are you?

littlemermaid · 11-05-2009, 08:18 PM

Im 21, and yes we do have debriefings...I wasnt at this call. But my friend was. i was just having a hard time with leaving school....it was my last night on campus wen i found out, and i was totally not in a safe place, but I managed to not self harm. im pretty proud of that i was having horrible urges