Triggering (SI/Abuse) - I told.

Wonderland. · 18-03-2009, 12:19 PM

I want to thank everyone who helped me the other day in my other thread, you really helped with all your support and ideas.

I wrote it all out yesterday in my notebook. It took the whole morning to write and I ended up missing my Art exam but hopefully that can be rearranged. Writing it was very hard even in third person, I cut a lot before doing it, as I couldn't do it without it.

I cried after writing it and went for a walk as I couldn't show anyone straight away. When I came back into school I couldn't go straight away I just sat in the loos and cried. I finally pulled myself together and went to see my head of year and showed her what I had written. And she read like the first page and was almost crying. And just came and held me as I was in tears. I never wanted her to let go. She told me she would have to tell student welfare and head of sixth form...

I'll update later as I'm in school.
I might not be on in the next few days because I'm staying with my aunty.
If you want to know more sooner my number is in my profile, I could really do with some support right now.

Amy x

Spoons · 18-03-2009, 12:22 PM

thats really brave of you!
*sends hugs*

Horizon · 18-03-2009, 03:11 PM

That takes a lot of courage to do, and I am so proud of you!

Popple · 18-03-2009, 03:11 PM

*cuddles*
WELL DONE!!!!
You should be so proud of yourself it was incredibly brave.
Take care of yourself
xx

troubleshooter · 18-03-2009, 03:35 PM

That's fantastic! You will def get the Bravery crown for that! =D I hope everything goes well at your aunty's and we hear from you again soon. :)

tigris · 18-03-2009, 05:19 PM

That's amazingly brave of you to do that, I know I don't really know you but I am still proud!

Hope you are feeling better now that its out in the open a bit more. *hugs* take care.

pixiedust · 18-03-2009, 06:43 PM

Well done sweetheart *cuddles*

linder surprise · 20-03-2009, 12:39 AM

would REALLY recommend removing your number from your profile.
but other than that, that's a really amazing thing you did.

Wonderland. · 23-03-2009, 10:11 PM

Sorry I haven't managed to update sooner, things have been quite hectic as i've been staying at different peoples houses basically every night. None of my relative houses are ideal to stay in long term so I don't really know what i'm gonna do right now.

I have been noticably calmer having got things off my chest and also getting away from that unbearable atmosphere at home. I am glad i managed to get it out because even though things are still all messed up I think I'm coping with things better and obviously now that certain people have a bit more of an idea of what is wrong then they can help me much more.

Soon I will have to decide whether to get the police involved or not and that is proving very difficult.

x

littlewhisper · 23-03-2009, 10:28 PM

just want to say how much i admie you
well done xxx

Wonderland. · 31-03-2009, 08:45 PM

Thanks for your kind words =]

x

shadow-light · 31-03-2009, 08:49 PM

seriously well done. I hope things are going ok, an imagine it's all a little all over the place right now

fallen wings44 · 01-04-2009, 12:41 AM

im so proud of you for telling your head of year *hugs you* you are so brave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chrissyann · 01-04-2009, 03:35 PM

Well done for telling hun, I'm really proud of you =o) Don't worry about the police yet though... just let it settle in that you've told people first. Get yourself together and safe before you go to the police... and make sure you've got support when you make that final decision.

How you doing today?

*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx

Wonderland. · 02-04-2009, 05:58 PM

Your support is really helping :)

Things feel so bad today.
They kinda have all week tbh.

Yesterday I ended up completely losing it and walked out of my lesson went to the loos and cut loads and then went off round the village for a walk and didn't come back to school till a couple of hours later.

I went and saw the nurse after lunch and she was concerned at the state of my arm and made head of sixth form come see it, i was quite ashamed that he had to see it cos I didn't think it was that bad.

I just got so frustrated with moving round all the time, not sleeping great at all keeping waking up like every hour so am really tired, school were great though and phoned my social worker and stuff.

But now today i get told that i have to do my art exam before we break up which is tomorrow when my teacher told me it was up to me when i did it. So now i have to prepare for it aswell as having 3 pieces of coursework in for tomorrow and now cos i don't have any free time tomorrow due to doing art exam all day I don't have any time to finish it.

And I saw my social worker after school to work out where I'm going to stay for the easter hols, I don't want to stay at my aunts cos that means moving around all the time and i want to feel settled so now i'm gonna stay at home and my dad is gonna go to my aunts but i don't want to go home at all and now i just wanna harm myself so much because everybody told me to be honest about what i want and i told her i didn't want to stay at home but it didn't change anything at all, i may aswell just lied and said i was fine with it.

It all just makes me want to die, its all i can think about now suicide.

I wish i could tell you all that i was feeling great.

Amy x

shadow-light · 02-04-2009, 06:01 PM

I can imagine all the chaos and moving is frustrating... does the school know the situration? maybe they would give yo some extentions or leniancies if they did

Wonderland. · 03-04-2009, 07:47 PM

School does know the situation and are being very supportive but only a few member of staff know (head of year, student welfare, head of sixth form, plus a few others) as its not something i really want loads of people knowing obviously.

Today was a very emotional day.