Triggering (SI/Abuse) - my dads letters

[xxminaxx]

okay so my dads in jail
and he used to send me all these letters which i read
and then made me wanna cut
and the court banned it so now
he send them to grandma which is really crazy and says he did nothing
and she was raped as a child by her brother and her parents
knew and didnt stop it cuz it was the fifties
and she sends them all to me
and i read them
and want to cry and cut and just hate it

also

there are these crazy women that send my mom letters
about how she is going hell for getting a divorce
and how one of us kids will die because she has sinned

i hate it
my bf tells me to throw them away and not read them
but i cant
i want to know

honestly i just want him to apologize
pathetic right
he hasnt yet
he claims im crazy etc and am trying to ruin him
what do i do?

[troubleshooter]

Tell the courts or police that dad is sending letters for you to your grandma who is forwarding them to you. At this point he shold be barred from sending letters to anyone associated with your family unless they monitor the content. If this does not happen, have a friend or your boyfriend destroy the letters. All this is doing is re-creating your abuse and traumatizing you more. I woudln't speak to your grandma either for awhile hun. *hugs* And crazy women sending letters like that? Screw them. They are bigger sinners harrassing a woman who divorced a man who was hurting her child. I think Jesus would disapproove of their actions a hell of a lot more than your mom's. *hugs* Hope this helps.

[Emo]

I agree with troubleshooter tell the court about what he is doing

and stop reading the letters he wrote them to get to you to make you feel bad
what he doing is wrong and your granma isnt helping either

am sorry your mum is getting the letters too she really dont need that
maybe she needs to tell someone she is getting hearsed by this women

you are in my thoughts hunni :hug

[xxminaxx]

yeah i know but this sick side of me idk wants his approval i mean after all the utter hell he put us all through i have no idea why but i do and there never is any idk i just wanted a dad and i never got that not from him and certianly not from any of my moms random boyfriends its just hard

[troubleshooter]

It's not sick at all, it's normal. Who doesn't want a dad? And who doesn't want a dad's love? *hugs* Sometimes people can find someone who can love them and be a father figure when their dad didn't or can't. Bu when you've been abused like this sometimes you need to accept that you will not get your dad's approval, and that is not your fault at all. It still hurts, and doesn't really lessen the blow but the sooner you begin to allow yourself to accept that, the sooner you will feel free from the emotional cage. *hugs tight*