Meds, Going Back On Them????

[Lonely In The Crowd]

Do you ever truly know when you should consider going back on medication? With advice and help from my psychiatrist, psychologist, case manager and GP I weened myself off all my meds for Major Depression and Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorsder about 4 months ago. Now I'm wondering if I should go back on my anti-depressants. What are the signs I should watch out for that suggest I should go back on my meds? I was on them for 3 1/2 yrs and got so physically sick from them, I still have some long term side effects so this isn't a decision I want to make lightly. I just don't know what to do! I've been having a lot of urges directed towards starting to SI again and some suicidal thoughts. The suicidal stuff is thoughts though, not urges. Although sometimes I get scared that if I continue to think these suicidal thoughts they will turn into urges and plans. I've been really down, sleeping too much, not sleping enough, having really bad, negative, scary thoughts, etc. Any advice at all would be much appreciated it!

[sherlock holmes]

You should write a list; pros and cons for starting your meds again. It sounds like you are experiencing symptoms of depression again, so perhaps going back on a low dose would be beneficial.

When you were weaned off of them, had you been symptom free for twelve months? Because it is advised you should only stop taking antidepressants once you have been symptom free for a year. Most people ignore this, and their symptoms return.

You should probably talk to your psychiatrist and case manager about this. Let them know exactly how you've been feeling recently.

[Lonely In The Crowd]

Thanks heaps for the post.
What exactly are the symptoms I should have been free of? I'd been sleeping well, eating again, had no suicidal thoughts, my mood was good and stable, I still had thoughts of SI but the urges where quite mild and few and far between, I was thinking more clearly, was able to concentrate much better, etc.
I will try to get up the courage to talk to my GP and/or Case Manager about it when I see them next week. I only see my psyciatrist every 12 months, if needed, as he has to travel 4-5 hrs from Sydney to see patients in my rural area.
I'm just terrified that if I tell them the decision will be out of my hands and they will "make" me start taking them again. I don't want to be stuck on them again for years, with all the side effects and stereotypes attached to taking them. Also in some ways I don't want to dissapoint them and everyone else. They've all been so proud of me lately, getting better, getting off the meds, etc. I think I let myself be proud of my efforts too, which was a huge mistake I suppose.
I just had the most awful thought, maybe I'm so sort of against telling them because maybe I don't want them to be able to stop me, to try to stop me from starting SI again, to stop me if my suicidal thoughts turn in to urges and plans. Oh, I'm so terrified, so confused.

[sherlock holmes]

Yeah, it does sound as if you were depression free for a while when you came off of them.

I doubt they'll force you into taking the meds again, it's your decision ultimately. And you SHOULD be proud of yourself for what you achieved. If you went back on the meds, you would have in no way failed. You're admitting you need help, which isn't a failure.

[Lonely In The Crowd]

Thanks so very much for the post and the "praise", for lack of my messed up brain being able to think of a more appropriate word. Yeah I suppose they can't really force me to go back on meds unless they decide to schedule me. I think it's more that I'm terrified of letting them talk me into it and letting them make my decisions for me. I know I'd let them and I absolutely hate the feelings that come with that. I scares me, it's like being scheduled in hospital again, where all your rights seem to be taken away and pratically all your decisions are made for you.