Triggering (SI) - Feeling weird

[HandThatFeeds]

It's weird; I have to do something I don't want to except I didn't have to. I could have refused, I was given an option, but I find it hard to say no…so I didn't…and it is too late to do anything about it now.

Now I'm f***ed off; really f***ed off and angry with myself. I want to be miserable, I want to cut but the weird part is I can't be bothered. I have never experienced a feeling quite like this before.

Is it the anti-depressants, the mood stabilizers or both?

I don't know. The feeling is just weird. Like something is suppressed inside me that is struggling to get out and can't. Not sure if I like it though. I'm just not sure if I feel like me.

[HandThatFeeds]

Thanks for the quick reply.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy Rabbit Lady

Yeh, it could be meds doing that, or maybe tiredness, or stress, or your illness, almost anything.

I'm guessing meds. I haven't been on them for very long and this is the first (mini) crisis. I think that I am just ranting because I don't feel the way I know I should.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy Rabbit Lady

Do you want to talk about the thing that you have said you will do but don't want to?

There isn't much point…it is a (none serious) work thing but it has implications that I don't like. I just wish that I had said no when I had the chance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy Rabbit Lady

Can you maybe find a way to release how you feel like through art or something?

If only I could, but I guess that is the problem with being self-critical; anything you do is never good enough. *starts thinking of ideas anyway*