how do you guage when you need time off work for your depression etc?
Basically, I am really really tired right now. I am handling a lot in my recovery-journey, and it takes a whole lot of energy. Plus the low energy and fluctuating motivation of long term depression...
My workplace and manager is really great about letting me take leave at short notice, like the odd hour here and there, if I need some respite time.
I took some leave last week, a day overall. I was still sitting at my desk feeling dizzy with tiredness when I was at work.
I'm just wondering how you, like, guage when you need to draw the line and get some rest?
the first time i had to leave work, my psych INSISTED i go on leave.
this last time, it was a combination...i had a major panic attack and scared the **** out of the ppl i work with..lovely..cant wait to go back....
and the doc pulled me off again.
But other than that..i think you need to ask yourself how do YOU feel? Put aside the guilt etc, tell yourself you have to be honsest and ask how you really feel...you will know Katie...in fact i think you already know and are maybe struggling with the horrible guilt feelings and thinking 'well im not really THAT bad' right?
Ask for some time and since they sound very good about it, perhaps tell them it isnt a definite date, jsut a 'guideline' as near as you can pin it down....
Don't let it get too far, where you run yourself down completely and make it so much harder to get back up...good for you for realizing yo may need this, for listening to yourself.
it is a really hard thing to gauge... I guess what you need to work out is how long being off would help? If a week of rest would really make a huge difference take some leave and look after yourself
If you think you need longer than that you would need a doctor to sign you off, so really going and having a chat with your GP about it might be the best option.
How is your work - I mean are you able to function at an acceptable level? Does working make things worse for you? or better? what difference would having some time off make? What does your boss think?
I have never been able to go on leave because my work has really been stupid like that but I have taken a couple personal days here and there. Mine have always been when I was desperate though...I wouldn't suggest waiting until then but when you feel like you're getting too far down and just NEED a break take some time and recharge. Good luck
I think if you need it, taking a week here and there everytime you feel down might help. If your boss is good for it then maybe talk to them and ask what they feel is appropriate too?
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I don't know... I feel so awful in the mornings.
But I am generally better at work than home alone and just with myself.
But I need to take care of my energy.
I just feel bad asking for more leave when work is so busy.. although the computers have been down so there's not much we can do, yesterday I was sent upstairs to work in the library all day... so I've been up there 2 days running. Haven't done that for a while, though in that library its ok. Although I was a bit on-edge yesterday. But then I am pre-menstrual right now.
Yesterday 2 things happened that made me feel uncomfortable - a customer was all false cheery and said 'good afternoon', and I did the usual 'hallo, how can I help?' business, and she told me off for being rude and not returning her greeting. Then a large man leaned right over the desk to speak to me, and I asked him to move back, and he asked, laughing, was he scaring me. I said 'yes' obviously not laughing or joking. He didn't know what to say to that, and did move back a bit.
I don't want a lot of time off, just some space to rest. I'm not sleeping so well again at the moment. Some worries on my mind.
then take a bit of time. I know you say you are better at work than sitting around which is true alot of the time..but in the time off could you plan things to do , FUN things, so you arent just sitting at home? Like a favorite park? Museum? Bookstore? Just anything you would find relaxing and be glad you went?
Maybe then the other issues would be either to think on and see a way to manage them. Maybe being more relaxed and away from the pressures of work and not sleeping might make it easier to think on the little things that are bothering you...when you are relaxed and not so tired?
Just dont keep pushing yourself..it turns out worse in the end and likely you would need more time off and be that much more run down.
Take care luv
romp
I have asked to start at 10 next Tuesday, instead of 9. I'll try and talk with my manager on Friday.
Well, its a start...
I do have a learnt habit/coping mechanism of pushing myself. I want to loosen myself from it, but its scary, as I don't quite know where the new boundaries are.
And the trouble is with the dodgy IT at work, when the system/program is back up - hopefully today or tomorrow - then there's SO much work to do. A pile of invoices on my desk as high as a box file flat, HEAPS of books needing processing and dispatching.....
Part of me would like my manager/s to say to me that I need to take some rest time, and ensure I do so. But that ain't a gonna happen, I don't think.
I take a 'week' (for me that is 14.5 hours a week) off. My manager gave me it as unpaid holiday, so i didnt mess up my sick days or holidays. She's great, and basically as long as I make up hours/take it as hols she doesnt mind... Unless it's a weekend which she relies on me for... Her sister had major mental helath probs and killed herself bout 19 years ago, and my boss has brought up her sisters kid as her own (her 'daughter' is 20 now). She understands how awful the NHS/mental health prof's can be - no one helped her sister and then said that she'd not used the facilities properly as a reason she'd killed herself. Anyway, I'm off the point right now. But, yes, take it a few shifts at a time...That's what I do! xxxxxx Love you RYL mummy xxxx
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure...
I have spent so much of my life convincing myself that I'm coping when I haven't been. I reach a point where I look back on a period of time and think "f### me, I've been in a right state for the last x days/weeks/months/years", but I never realise that I'm struggling when I'm struggling, I never realise that I need time off when I need time off, that I need hugs when I need hugs, or that it's time to go see the doctor again when I need to go to see the doctor again.
I just get the feeling you're in a similar state right now. If you need to ask this question then I think you know the answer!!
And Goddammit I know full well what you mean about wanting your boss to tell you to take time out. I've been sat down in meetings with him, telling him I'm "fine" and thinking "please send me home, please send me home, please send me home".
I had exactly the same when I was "assessed" by occupational health at work (once they discovered I was harming). The guy is sitting there talking to me and says "The good news is that I think you're coping and you're fit to be at work". My response? I say "absolutely, I think I'm totally fit to be at work", inside I'm thinking "I cannot do this, I am cutting, I am not coping, I need a week off".
Chris, I had similar happen with a previous manager, I asked her if it was a problem if I sat at the counter in the state I was in [I was also hurting myself on something in the loo at every opportunity] and she said no. I was incredulous. But it fed into the denial, I'm fine really kind of thing. My other manager back then refered me to OH. Who were great, but advised me to continue working, as, indeed, when I am alone I am not good. Also, because I already have all the treatment I need, OH couldn't add anything else. It was only later that the manager spoke with HR and got me 'reasonable adjustments' and a transfer to the office. Which was very good timing as withdrawal from efexor was not making things pleasant at all.
Its a very fine line between ensuring I interact and don't withdraw, and taking rest when I need it.
Is there any way you can do some of the stuff at home? Then you can do a bit, take a break, have a nap, do a bit more. That way you're nto stressing and you can get the things done that need to be done without working yourself into exhaustion!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I wrestle with this question too. I have only even taken time off in relation to depression when I have actually put myself in hospital or am physically unable to get up and go in. I too have gone to work and spent most of the day hiding in the bathroom... My current manager is somewhat aware. She's given me her home number and told me that I can take annual leave without previous notice but I've never actually felt able to. Also, like longing tears, I'm no good when I'm alone and feeling bad.
What is it that says that it's so unacceptable to take time off when it's mental health rather than physical health? I don't know, I'm still trying to convince myself that it's not.
Unfortunately I can't do it at home. [partly because I work in a public library for about half my hours :P] Because it requires the pc program. Oh, and lots of books, mainly!
So that's a no no sadly...
My manager is great, but I think I need to be clearer about how things are. She responded to my email, and also said that to let her know if I need further time off. I'll talk with her tomorrow. Wednesday mornings seem to be the hardest. Its the 2nd morning running of getting up earlier as I start earlier. [having therapy on Monday and Thursday mornings means my day starts that bit later.]
When I was really ill last Autumn, the only 2 days I needed to take off sick were consecutive Wednesdays. [and they were kind of physical related, although the undercurrent was emotional-anxiety based. One was a severe panic attack where I landed up in a and e because I was so dizzy with the anxiety I couldn't walk...The other I was sick half the night after eating some fish pie that I didn't heat enough...]
Hey. You sound really low and could probably benefit from some time off. I was signed off work with depression for three months last year and it was such a relief to be given some time to rest and get better. No pressure to get up if I couldn't, didn't have to pretend to be ok in front of anyone and didn't have to make an effort with customers etc...
It just gave me time to think and work out what I could do to improve my situation and it was like pushing the pause button on life so that I could catch up!
If you think you could feel better after a week or two off then go for it. If you, like me, need a bit longer to get your head together then make sure you use the time off to really concentrate on your therapy and taking steps towards where you want to be. I found it a little too easy to just shut myself away and stay in bed for days so you'll have to be careful that you don't allow yourself to become too comfortable with doing nothing and slip into a really bad place.
I hope you feel better soon with or without time off. Thinking of you x
