Ok, im a 14 yeah old girl and I dont have a mom...lets just say, she wasn't really a parent to me and never did anything but hurt me. So, I moved in with my dad...and I dont really trust him and I can not talk to him about my SI problem. I pretty much took care of myself, until one of my softball friends found out about my problem and then her parents found out. Long story short, I started talking to her mom(AMY) and we are pretty close now. We have been talking for almost half a year and we text everyday. But her family doesnt like me talking to her so we have to...I guess...hide it and keep it to ourselves. I dont know why her family doesn't like it, or like me. Amy doesn't ever talk to me when she is with them so its not like its taking her time up from her mom or from there family and its not like we see each other everyday, or even every week. IDK, maybe I just dont understand them or cant see it from there view.... ANYWAYS.... me and amy are really close and she is like a mom to me. She is there for me and helps me, she makes me feel better. I feel safe when she holds me and all my problems go away when she hugs me. I was a cutter for 2 years and she was the one who helped me go the last 7 weeks without cutting.
But we have problems....
1) She says im to close, she said "your 15, you need to be doing things with your friends, not wanting to talk to me." She said that im to dependent on her. And maybe I am, but I need her, or it seems like I do. It hurt when she says that and it hurts thinking about it cause I feel like she is pushing me away, like she is tired of me, like she wants me to go away...just like her family.
2) Another problem, or my problem....is when she cant talk, I get upset. Not always but when I really need her, like when im having a bad night and cant stop crying and just when I really need her, and she cant talk. It bothers me cause I need her so bad and she just leaves me, it just hurts more.
3) She doesn't ever say what I want to hear. When im upset, she gets upset and we end up fighting...I dont want that. I want her to support me and confort me and help me get threw whatever im going through instead of make it worse.
IDK...we just have problems, and i dont think they aer getting better and I dont know how to stop myself from getting so upset, I need someone to talk to and she is the only one I can text and talk to, I dont have anyone else so its hard...IO wish she could see that.
And I dont know what posting this will do, I guess just help me let my feelings out. If anyone can help or has advice, PLEASE let me know.....I need it.
I guess this all is because basically like you stated before you didn't have a family in a way. Your mom wasn't that much of a mother so you rely on Amy to be a mom to you, and like it would naturally happen between mothers and daughters you get disappointed when she pushes you away. It's typical and I've seen this before. But hey, we are here. i am old, 21, and I can listen to you if you want to talk to me about your problems. I might not be a mother figure, but I am a friend.