Triggering (Abuse) - Never Knew

Queer Fringe · 07-03-2008, 05:43 PM

Woah, when I first came on RYL, I didn't think I would be posting a thread with the possible trigger of abuse on it...
I found out from my older step-sister that I was once beaten by my Mum, The next day I was 'Black and Blue' and it was so damaging to think that they could do that to a baby...let alone me!!
I am doing some of work with my hypnotherapist to help me remember...the family therapist thinks I am suffering from a traumatic event (although I do not have the disorder) It just sums up everything...why I don't like being hugged by my mum, why I hate babies crying (I know most people do but I find it physically painful to hear/watch) and why I do that wierd thing with my teddies, for example, if I accidentally drop them or something I would pick them up, hug them, say sorry, and then kiss them. (I know that sounds crazy but hey, that's the way I am...) If this is the 'traumatic event' then what do I do to get over it? 'cause the family therapist seems to think it'll heal on its own...I'm so shocked about it...

Queer Fringe · 07-03-2008, 06:12 PM

My parents don't know that I know though...

Schleier von Dunst · 07-03-2008, 06:26 PM

can you talk to them? they need to know really...right?

Queer Fringe · 07-03-2008, 06:30 PM

I cant possibly talk to them about it...

Queer Fringe · 07-03-2008, 07:24 PM

help.

Queer Fringe · 07-03-2008, 08:22 PM

Please?

xbeckyx · 08-03-2008, 06:07 PM

Has anyone else in your family been abused? Maybe you could talk to them?
*hugs I'm sorry you had to go through that.
PM me if you ever want to chat.
x

Queer Fringe · 09-03-2008, 05:50 PM

Nope. No-one else in my family has...well my older sis but I don't wanna bother her anymore. she didnt really have much to say bowt it...

zowie · 10-03-2008, 03:21 PM

What sort of relationship do you have with your mum now?
I think you should tell them you know, so you can talk it through with them. Find out why it happened, if it ever happened again etc.
Maybe you could discuss it with your dad first?

bitzy · 10-03-2008, 09:34 PM

hi girl how you doing?
im sorry u feelin like this wish there was something i could say
u shuld talk to ur parents.... feel better soon ya...
Kate xxx

learning_to_fly · 11-03-2008, 12:35 AM

sweetie i don't think you have to talk to your parents if you don't want to - it could help clear the air, but it might not make a difference - they could deny it, or ignore it. I have never told my mum i remember her abuse, but i think she read my journal once so maybe she knows i know and just ignores it... It's hard to know how to heal from this if you don't actually have any memory of it... can you talk some more about it with your therapist? I think that would be the best place to start...

Deconstruct · 11-03-2008, 06:12 PM

i know it's not the same, but when I was little I was sexually abused by a family friend and my parents never believed me when we went to visit him every week. I haven't brought it up since.

I'm 20 and can't face my parents to tell him what they already know. I had told a therapist when I first started going, and they broke confidentiality and told my mother. My mother tried talking to me about it, and I refuse to say anything. I barely remember it anymore.

So I know what it's like to have something tramatising in your past, and I can't talk to my parents about it.

I hate talking about it in general, because I remember so few details. It makes me feel weird around guys, I haven't really gotten over it, but I don't know what to do.

So I guess we're both plagued by the past, but I'm hoping it'll just go away eventually.

The only thing I can think of to help is to get one on one with the therapist and tell her how you feel.

Queer Fringe · 13-03-2008, 05:41 PM

Thankyou :)