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Old 10-06-2007, 12:15 AM   #1
Rave Pixie
Just a natural street freak
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: West Midlands, England
What do you do?

What do you do when your so ugly on the inside you strive for perfection on the outside?

What do you do when you will never reach the perfection you aim for.

How can you accept the love of others when you hate yourself with such a passion?

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Old 10-06-2007, 12:29 AM   #2
Zaza
 

I don't really know what to say to this right now as I'm kind of all over the place at the moment with ups and downs... but I hope that you can get the help you deserve [[here, welcome to RYL]] *hugs* [[Seeing your post in the ED intro forum it seems you are not a newcomer, sorry for the confusion on my part :)]]

Zaza
xx


Last edited by Zaza : 10-06-2007 at 12:32 AM. Reason: Confusion on my part.
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:31 AM   #3
Rave Pixie
Just a natural street freak
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: West Midlands, England

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaza View Post
I don't really know what to say to this right now as I'm kind of all over the place at the moment with ups and downs... but I hope that you can get the help you deserve here, welcome to RYL *hugs*

Zaza
xx
Thanks, i've been here a while but the new system wont let me get on my old account.

NBever midn i'll never be missed.

Thanks for the reply and I hope your ups and downs pan out.

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Old 10-06-2007, 12:36 AM   #4
Zaza
 

You probably know this but; if you speak to a mod they will transfer your post count etc across from v2, unfortunatly everybody had to sign up for a new account in the change.

You will be missed if you were not to stay. By me, if not many others also: I would like to get to know you atleast, if you wish.

with love
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Old 10-06-2007, 12:39 AM   #5
Circle Of Fire
 
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*hugs* i feel like that. So strange and abnormal on the inside that i have to look normal and perfect on the outside. Kinda sucks.

Please take care
xxx



A bolt of Lightning Splits the Sky,
A MomentBurning then Dims to Die.


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Old 10-06-2007, 12:42 AM   #6
Rave Pixie
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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I'm not a real person, I'm not a real ****ing person I'm a ****ing lie I bet I dont even bleed anymore, I'm a ****ing puppet, I'm made out of wood

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Old 10-06-2007, 04:55 AM   #7
bunny punk
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Aurora, IL USA
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hey hun
you're not a puppet, it just feels that way and i know it does. somewhere inside you is the power to take over yourself again. if you really want it and look really hard you can find it and use. then you won't feel like a puppet anymore. sorry if this wasn't really very helpful. i just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone. if you ever want to talk feel free to PM me. *huge squishy hugs* hope things get better for you really soon.

take care,
sammi



You'll never know until you try so don't give up on your dreams and always fight for what you want.



The path to recovery begins by taking the first step.


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Old 10-06-2007, 04:01 PM   #8
~XxxFireflyxxX~
Remember happiness is just a teardrop away...
 
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Location: Neverland

Sweetheart you arn't alone, unfortunately I don't have the answer. *hugs* try talking to people about how you feel, or writting your thoughts.

Sophie
Xxx



Dream more than others think is practical...
Risk more than others think is safe.




Every second being upset is a second of happiness you will never get back…


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Old 10-06-2007, 04:45 PM   #9
Keep Smiling
ASofterWorld
 
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honey its okay *holds you* i know things are tough right now and really does sound like you are struggling,, is there anyone you can talk to? a close friend/relative/therapist? if you ever want to talk or rant or just know that someone is there for you you can PM me anytime.

the questions that you asked are questions i think alot of us ask ourselves and sadly i don't have the answer. all i can say is keep strong, keep fighting against everything that is dragging you down and one day you won't have to have the answers because you will have beaten this *cuddles you*

please look after yourself sweetheart.

lucy.
x x x



go on a journey, & roam the streets,
can't see the way out, & so use the stars.
she sits for eternity, & then climbs out.
she's the glowing sun, so come out.


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Old 11-06-2007, 08:22 AM   #10
Rave Pixie
Just a natural street freak
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: West Midlands, England

Thanks for all your replys, they really do mean alot more that one might think.

I talk to my boyfriend, he is my angel, but lately I just cant pin down how I feel so its hard to get anyone to relate to you when you cant even relate to myself.

Things kind of came to a head the other night and I SIed for the first time in nearly two years. It really scared him, and he wants me to go see someone, a therapist or doctor.
I want to, not only for him but for me too in a way, but I'm scared, for more reasons than I can explain, and I dont know how to go about it, well not without using my GP which I simply wont do for reasons of my own...

Anyway thanks again everyone *hugs*

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Old 11-06-2007, 09:11 AM   #11
Keep Smiling
ASofterWorld
 
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oh i am so sorry that that happened *cuddles you* its hard when slip-ups happen but you can get through it and it sounds like you have alot of support right now which is really great!

its fair enough if you have your own reasons for not wanting to see your GP,, i won't probe into why. im not sure about other ways you could go about getting help but i hope you find something that works for you hun.

take care of yourself.

lucy.
x x x



go on a journey, & roam the streets,
can't see the way out, & so use the stars.
she sits for eternity, & then climbs out.
she's the glowing sun, so come out.


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Old 11-06-2007, 02:02 PM   #12
ebonyrose
Bit by Bit, Day by day.
 
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I understand completely what your saying, and I don't really know what to say because I don't even know the answers myself. I hope that as I get further into recovery I will be able to answers these questions with honesty, but for now we've just got to hand in there. ~*~Hugs~*~
xxx



STRENGTH
||| R.I.P Matt. 11.09.06. Forever loved, forever missed and never forgotten. |||

I CAN DO THIS.


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Old 11-06-2007, 05:37 PM   #13
nowhereman
 
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Good luck with seeing a doctor, I hope they can help you. I know it's scary and of course I don't know your situation but I hope you can get thigns sorted out and soon. I also relate to the questions you asked in your original post, that's how I feel too but I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you. You're not alone though.

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Old 12-06-2007, 05:58 PM   #14
Rave Pixie
Just a natural street freak
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: West Midlands, England

Thanks again everyone, and yeah my boyfriend is amazing, without him I really dont think I would even be here right now.

Its been a hard but wonderful two years with him and I hope to have many more with his help.

I feel quiet sad that so many people have posted to say they feel the same as I do, its a terrible way to feel and I hope I can help you guys feel better and vice versa.

I hope to be more active on the new boards than I was on the old ones, hope to see you all around soon *hugs*

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