Basically a friend of mine has discovered they are pregnant.
Anyway, bit of a dilema and I really don't know what to do. She asked me to look up something that the dr and midwife appeared to be worried about going on about intensive monitoring and blood work but when she asked told her it was fine and probably meant nothing at all and to ignore it and cos of my past work knew I'd know where to look that would be official info as opposed to the rubbish you can find on the 'net.
So far so good.
Here's the BUT....
What she has is really dangerous Not only to her but to her babies too (she's expecting triplets). It would appear the chances of all surviving (both her and babies) are small - like 20% small Now what do I do? Do I pretend to have not looked it up? Ignore what I've found out? Tell her and frighten her?
She's had such an awful time over the past few months and is now so very happy.
im really not sure what you should do.
why would the midwife not tell her this?
its unfair that she has not been told.
if it was the other way round would u want to be told?
I have no idea why they haven't told her - they just said she had x condition and it didn't matter but they would monitor it with blood tests and other things. I honestly thought I had the wrong condition at first but it is definitely the right condition.
Could it be because of her Mental Health? Or are they just being stupidly optimistic ignoring what could happen? (I really don't trust these people after what happened to someone I worked with a few years ago). Does worrying a lot effect pregnancy? Could that be why?
I haven't a clue!
I'm not too sure. I can't have children when kindof makes it difficult to put myself in that situation really.
Stupid NHS!
Thanks for the reply!
Last edited by Becca : 15-01-2008 at 05:47 PM.
Reason: Added thanks!
Hi, perhaps it's that they think she could develop this condition, or that she might have it? What is the name of the condition? Worrying and stress can affect pregnancy so that could be it, but I think if something is seriously wrong they should have told her.
No they said she definitely has it. Gave her the diagnosis and told her to ignore it. That was what I looked up and was why she was concerned about it. She has extremely high platelets. I don't know the rest of her history (aside from her mental health problems) of course and it could be that she is easily in the 20% who would be fine but I'm worried for her.
Last edited by Becca : 15-01-2008 at 06:22 PM.
Reason: Added bit of history I know
Are they going to give her transfusions or anything? Perhaps just take the midwife aside next time she's around, or even just ring NHS direct and ask them about it.
First, thank-you all for your advice. I really appreciate it
Second, having thought carefully I mentioned that they should ask them for futher information. I said that my searches showed that it *might* be an issue or *might* not and not having any medical training couldn't really say which would apply to them. Which isn't a total lie. I can't honestly say it would a problem could I? I'm hoping they will see someone who can explain and offer some kind of help. At the moment nothing is being done - she was told to just ignore it and has been given no meds or anything (hence me being really worried).
I feel bad for the lie but under the circumstances I think it was for the best, cos the last thing I want is for her mental health problems to get worse or for anything to effect her pregnancy cos she's worrying.
I hope things are ok with her and the babies.
I do think what you want to say to her would be the best and also if she asks the doctors about it they may be able to give her more information specific to her case and if they are not doing as much as they should be doing could prompt them into further action
Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn YOU'RE NOT ALONE
anyone carrying triplets is considered high risk.
the 20% survival rate is lower than usual, but remember that the more babies in there, the lower the chances of carrying to full term, with most triplets being delived by c-section as early as 30weeks. So there is already a lower survival rate pinned with that.
Generally if the dr's aren't worried about a problem, then it's because they don't need to be. they rarely take risks, if they think there's even a small chance of your friend having issues they would watch her like a hawk. As i said, all triplet pregnancies are high risk, in america more so than the UK, selective reduction is the prefered option, bringing the pregnancy down to twins with a higher survival rate, less complications, less likely to go into pre-term labour and a higher chance of a natural birth (no c-section).
hope i helped. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
We live in a very isolated area and the drs aren't very good. Someone I worked with a few years ago had their scan lost (she had been bleeding I think) and she was told it didn't matter (same drs) they refused to redo the scan just because it was lost saying it was a waste of time and money as she hadn't miscarried in the meantime. She then had to give birth to a terribly deformed dead baby (and I mean terribly deformed) towards the end of her pregnancy so I don't have much faith in them - they were really unprofessional in their treatment of her and although I really hated this woman at the time (she was a horrendous bully) it really broke mine and others hearts to see what she had to go through. She has children now and is an utterly different person but will never trust another doctor even though she has now moved away.
So thats one of the reasons I'm worried about my friend. She was worried because they seemed really worried but when she asked told her it was nothing. If they hadn't seemed worried I don't think she would have been. They kept going on about the number of platelets to each other but ignored her when she asked what was wrong.
I was interested about what you said about triplet pregnancies being higher risk in the US - I wonder why that is.
Can you travel into a city for a 2nd opinion from a more specialist doctor. What does the baby's father think to what is happen. (i assume he is involved, sorry if i assume wrong)
any triplet pregnancy in the us or uk is considered high risk.
mainly because there is higher chance of miscarriage, pre-term labour, incompetent cervix (cervix dilating/opening and miscarrying because of that alone) and a high percentage (99%+) of c-sections always done before the due date.
Also there is more chance of one or two of the babies starving the other of nutrients, more placental issues, the mother's height is really important (she shorter she is, the less room the babies will have). There are more blood pressure issues and quite often the babies can't be monitored as well as one would hope, simply because their siblings get in the way.
There's more baby in there (upto 21pounds rather than the normal 7), if they are all singleton multiples (don't share anything) there will be 3 placentas, 3 lots of water, 3 sacs etc. Not enough room, the babies usually run out of space and pre-term labour begins. Sometimes it can be stopped, sometimes they have to deliver and the babies are in intensive care.
I know the majority of OBs in the US will not take on more than quads and even then only if the mother's height/health isnt an issue.
hope this helps a bit. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Going to a city is difficult. It would require many hours of travelling and she cannot bear being in a car right now - pregnancy = car sickness for her (oddly cos she has never had it before!). I will mention it though if locals look like their going to be useless so thanks for the suggestion!
all sorts of things will make her sick. the smell of car fumes used to do it for me... now i'm ok with that. mushrooms and tomatoes though... ick. Its like smells we weren't keen on before... the reactions get even worse. Tell her to empty her bladder before travelling and take a bottle of cold water with her. also make sure seatbelt goes over her lap and between her boobs so if there is an accident or sharp braking, the belt won't doamage her bump.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I thought I would post a quick update about this. My friend had her babies, over three months early. All three have survived so far. However, they are all (mum included) still critical.
We (her friends and family) are all praying that all three will pull through.
Not only to her but to her babies too (she's expecting triplets). It would appear the chances of all surviving (both her and babies) are small - like 20% small 
