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Old 07-06-2007, 02:15 AM   #1
_Cadence_
fvck off. hold me.
 
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my poetry *SI/suicide trig*

I occasionally write poetry to figure out what I'm feeling. I know these aren't good at all- I've always been terrible at writing, but I thought I'd share them anyway.

Love again?
maybe not,
maybe so,
No.
at the least,
I would die
of pain,
from seeing my soul
ripped up again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let the pain freely flow
deep drops of my black blood
cascade into hell
where I am lost
forevermore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! the pain! the despair!
i know, to those girls,
i cannot compare

alone, forever i will be
and as my mother reminds me-

i agree
that even this poem
is worth more than
me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Revenge

they ripped my heart out
mutilated it
and laughed
as i perished
alone

now
deranged,
i rise
to avenge
those who ruined me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bliss
i’m watching the blood flow
life seeping from my wrists

i would tell u
the truths i’ve learned
but i’m too tired

and soon
the ultimate paradox
will have transpired

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i will bleed out
death will reach out
one way or the other
but maybe
it will be my heart that goes first
which is worse?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damned
That is what I am
I deserve to BURN
In hell
Forevermore
How could I tell
my friends?
It’s my shame to bear
My grief to wear
My life to end
I hurt them
By doing this
I don’t deserve to stop
What can I do?
Never tell them again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(i wrote this after i told a friend that i SI- i've had some bad experiences with the mental health system, so i was terrified of anyone else finding out)

They know.
I need to hide
My fears inside
Before they hand
Me over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t do this
Nothing has been finished
I wish I were strong
And could help others along
But I can barely get through the day
I have to deal with so many things
I can barely get through the day
I want to give everything to those in need
But I can barely get through the day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t use to be like this
I didn’t want this
I truly didn’t
I was the good sweet girl
The pretty girl
Pretty kind
On the outside I guess
Or was I kind- and just flawed like everyone else?
Is perfectionism part of why?
Why I descended here
I never wanted this
I want to be innocent again
It’s gone
I’m lost
I would take it back
But I’ve fallen
My soul is black
I wasn’t like this
Even a few years ago
I saw pain
And hid
I fell
and became ensnarled
I glanced at it
And I fell again
This time
Into a quagmire of sin
If I had only resisted
I wish I hadn’t given in
Oh! Forgive me,
Please
If that is not too much to ask
Even though I know it is
Please
I wish I hadn’t
I was the good sweet girl
The perfect girl
Falling into a world of despair
Forgive me
I don’t dare ask to be whole again
I’m too grotesque for that
But, please, if it is not too much to ask,
Even though I know it is
Please, oh! Please please forgive me!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(there's one line in here, at the end of the second stanza that refers to The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe- sorry if it doesn't make any sense- this is the first poem i ever wrote)

“Ludicrous”

despair
contempt
their words… slash my soul
their wrath… rumbles… trembles…. explodes
and i collapse…

how am i supposed to survive in this hell?

malignant
resentment swells
distended egos burst
bitterness – mutates to rancor …
i’m repulsed
their anger ruptures my heart
a fissure appears- the house slowly sinks

hope? a dream

execrations swarm my soul
i revolt you - you ridicule me
delirious… my spirit is mangled- dismembered
my resentment… fails
i love you

i forgive you


Last edited by _Cadence_ : 07-06-2007 at 03:11 AM. Reason: i typed something incorrectly
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Old 08-06-2007, 02:29 PM   #2
crazykat
Fight for another day
 
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Location: Australia

I really like some of these especially the poem entitled revenge. Glad you were able to get your feelings out in these poems and hope it continues to help you. Take care of yourself
hugs kat



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 08-06-2007, 11:48 PM   #3
KMS
If you love me, let me know.
 
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i really liked your poems, there really good. I hope you write some more poems and are able to express more emotions through them. :)
x Ashley x




A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations.
Even if it's a fake one. Used properly, you can
fool anyone with them
- Sai

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Old 08-06-2007, 11:54 PM   #4
Muir
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They're really good. The last one is my faveourite.

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Old 10-06-2007, 01:42 PM   #5
CoffinNail
This is gonna hurt.
 
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They're really good! I can really relate to Ludicrous.





All you wanna do is drag me down
All I wanna do is stamp you out


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Old 10-06-2007, 03:19 PM   #6
Psiren
Apathetic without the 'A'
 
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They're good sweetheart, you do have talent at writing!
I can relate to a lot of the things said in them.






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