God, i cant stop crying, i just want to cut and cut. i keep trying to breathe and relax and cheer myself up and i cant
i feel so overwhelmed. like im screaming and screaming, and nothing is changing, nothing is getting better. I keep trying to make things better, and im applying for school and doing all this moving forward, when what i want to do, is just cut, and be ok again. instead of this crazy worthless mess ive become.
what should i do. im running out of options. please tell me it will be ok. please help me believe that not cutting is what i need to do
Oh, honey, I know how much that sucks. I'm sorry you have to be going through it too! The thing is that it WILL be okay. Often it feels like cutting is the only release, the only way out. We all know that that's not really true, but when it comes down to the choice....sigh...it's so hard.
I hope that you don't cut.
Just keep powering through, pushing on. I know you can do it. This part of yourself that says you can't is evil and misguided...it's not you.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I've been there and I hope that you can find the strength to get through it without cutting.
Stay safe, and never give up!!
*hugs tightly*
D'Arcy
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
thankyou...i just feel so worthless
like im not worth anything but cutting, and as much as i fight, im never going to be worth more then my scars.
its been almost 6 months since i last cut, and im still plauged by the thoughts of it
i just dont know how much longer i can fight, and fight, and not get anywhere new.
You are worth SO much more than your scars and cutting. Six months is an amazing achievement! However, it's still not going to be long enough to completely rid yourself of the thoughts. I haven't yet been a month free, but I have quit some hard drugs that took years to rid my brain of. Let me tell you though...it was worth it. Even when it seems impossible, it's worth it. The more you continue to grow without SI, the better you will feel.
The moving forward that you're doing...is it towards something that will make you happy? If so, then that's a move in the right direction, as I see it.
Please take care and don't cut. PM me if you want, I'll be here for a half hour or so...
xoxoxo
D'Arcy
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
You are not your scars. Right now I often wish I had scars, so I would look as ugly on the outside as I do on the inside.
Please don't cut. Please be good to yourself.
A cherishing hug to you!
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
6 months is an amazing achievement hun, I'm sorry things are difficult but remember the feeling of wanting to cut WILL pass, it wont last forever. You will get over this and when you do you will be so proud of yourself for not giving into it. My PM box is always open. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Big huggles and much love
Mary
xxxx
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, thats why its called the present!"
